Letters to the Editor
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Plastic surgery, too
Remember Tara Reid?
They get the plastic surgery, but when they are photographed we don't see the scars.
Nor do we see the ravaged body years and years down the road.
I don't wear makeup all the time, but when I do I wear it for fun. Dressing likewise. I still have my "ethnic eclectic" look from college; it suits me and my profession. It's strange I get a lot more positive attention when I do grooming just for myself.
If I followed the advice in the book I shudder to think how old I would look.
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Sugar
I remember reading an article about a scientist who studied the aging effects of sugar on mice. When the results were in, she immediately cut sugar out of her diet.
So stop eating it! I dare you! It ages your body outside and in, makes you fat, gives you heart disease, diabetes, cancer, and many other ailments.
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I want to look as youg as I feel...
....and perhaps that is really at the root of all of this "How Not to Look Old" thing.
I'm 38 going on 39. I feel 30 mentally but due to the standard stresses of life (long commutes, new job, household maintenance and little time for my marriage) I feel that I look like I'm into my 40's. I really am managing well mentally but my body seems to be taking the brunt of my life.
Do I want to look 20 - no. Do I want to look 35, fresh, stylish and at the appropriate times even cute - hell ya.
So in order to look "natural" and to be my very best by the age of 40 (which I feel I am careening towards at NASCAR speed)I am scheduled to have my hair thermally straightened ($500), I am getting braces (Several thousand$), I will have a round of microdermabrasion or two($400.00 a pop)and I am attending Toastmasters to help me become a more confident speaker. This year I will pursue a professional designation (via the internet)and continue on my course of a healthy diet with a little more exercise than usual squeezed into the cracks, preferably outside in a natural setting.
Short of knives and needles I am all in. In order to be my most naturally beautiful. I am shaking my head now. But I'm still going to do all.
Jayne
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Accept it
"Short of knives and needles I am all in. In order to be my most naturally beautiful. I am shaking my head now. But I'm still going to do all."
I just want to register a No vote. I'm not going to do all. NO WAY.
I have interesting work and a family and I had my day. It went on too long, in fact. I'm interested in my life, and if I don't light up the room when I walk in, hey I can live with it.
My mother was always fretting about her declining looks and I, for my part, look carefully in the mirror and endeavor to accept exactly what I see.
I'm no Buddhist, but that perspective helps me. "I am of the nature to get old. I cannot escape getting old. I am of the nature to get sick. I cannot escape sickness. I am of the nature to die. I cannot escape death. Only my actions will follow me."
Acceptance is the key!!
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Hey! Watch what you say about Eileen Fisher!
I've been wearing it since I was a 23 year old indie rock club bartender "hipster". And I still wear it. Some of it is actually kind of cool. xoxdaisy
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Youth does not =authority or wisdom.
I am an "average" 40-ish professional. Tall, size 10, attractive, but no video vixen. I have a colleague my age who is full on "Housewife of Orange County." She has got the fussy hair, make-up, size 2 thing going on. She likes to brag that 20-somethings comment that she is "one of them." Her body language is flirtatious & girlish.
My colleague is just as capable as I, yet seems to get passed over. Do I envy her cute wardrobe and hot little bod? Not so much...
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how not to look old, for white ladies
I flipped through this at the bookstore the other day, and was put off by the dearth of consideration the author gives to non-white women. Like how she pretty much insists that African-American women chemically process their hair; natural hair is usually worn short, a no-no, and braids are supposedly "childish". The author would probably faint dead away at the mere thought of locs! I don't think the book is evil or racist, just poorly thought-out to the point that I'm not keen on accepting it as an authority. (Not that I would anyway; I'm 28 and kinda looking forward to future frumpiness.)
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I know it's kind of late, but...
Where was MerelyMortalMale when I was in high school? I mean--
"The questions feminists never ask are these: "How many women complaining that men no longer pay attention to them ever treated men as humans? How many took equal social risks to meet guys? How many respected male hearts?""
As I recall, I had several male friends in high school. I always treated them as humans. You could even say I "respected male hearts" on a regular basis--whether they had a nice car or not. Why then did I never have a date for any school dance? No, it was not for lack of taking "equal social risks to meet guys"--I asked guys out on dates on more than one occasion (since they certainly weren't asking me)--and was turned down pretty much every time.
So, according to MMM, I should have been able to have my pick of guys, since apparently all women are cold-hearted skanks who ignore all of the poor-but-perfectly-acceptable young men who are desperately trying to get their attention. I'm sure it had nothing to do with the fact that the same 20 anorexic cheerleaders were the only ones getting any male attention at my school, and as the bespectacled valedictorian I was rendered pretty much untouchable. Oh gee, maybe if I had "respected more male hearts" I would've had a better time?
I have to temper this by saying that I met a wonderful (not wealthy) guy in college and am happily married now, so it's not like I sit up at night crying about never getting a date. I just think that instead of blaming his crappy time in high school on all of womankind, maybe MMM should just accept that high school is crappy for everybody and just let it go at that.