Letters to the Editor
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@snarlingcoyote
Excellenet advice - !
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To SandraM
Sandra, on many levels I agree with you, and would have wholeheartedly when I was in my 20-30s. Age is something to be happpy about, be proud of those lines, etc. But, as a recent convert to Williams strategy, my opinion has changed now that I am in my mid-40s. What I have learned is that in my career, the older a woman looks the less well she is treated. I began to notice it was much, much harder to get my ideas across, even to other women! Now that I am doing the exercise, well-cut and styled hair, lighter makeup, and occasional restalyine to make me look fresher, it's easier. Maybe it's my confidence level is better, but I don't think so. It seems to me that women become sort of invisible as they age, if they aren't careful to appear youthful. Not youthful as in tying to look 21, but youthful in, I dunno, fresh? Nope, not fair, but, it appears to me to be the way business works.
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Gentle, shmentle, yentl!
"Men are becoming more and more vain although many still could care less about having a big gut and grey hair. Older male movie stars still get paired with actresses young enough to be their daughter and homely to downright scary looking rock stars still score the supermodels."
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That's because attractiveness in men is/was based on lucre, not looks. Young men lose out because they don't have much "economic power." As they age, they tend to accrue money and other "things" females want. As women age the opposite occurs. They lose their looks and start feeling like the boys they rejected when younger: Lacking the coin of the realm. There's nothing "unfair" about it all. The rules are still the same. It's just that the women have moved down the conveyer belt of Time.
I went to a highschool reunion and saw a used-to-be-hottie (who gave few guys the time of day back in-the-day) who'd turned into a "wide load." She was soooooo pissed that guys no longer panted around her. They were more interested in her daughters.
How many women, when they were "hot and 20" worried about stomping on guys' hearts? They'd sleep with guys who owned cool cars, had nice apartments, and worked as Trump clones. Life was sweet then because the gals had shweeeeeet young meat. Now, past 40, their soma sags. They claim men are boors for not appreciating their "inner souls." Who cares? Let them watch Oprah with their cats.
There are Hume Cronyn/Jessica Tandy matches, humans of different genders who genuinely love each other. Hats off to them. There relationships seem ageless. By and large, though, I think a lot of 40-something guys like hooking up with 20-somethings to flout feminism. They consider it payback.
Maybe they're right...turnabout being fair play and all.
The questions feminists never ask are these: "How many women complaining that men no longer pay attention to them ever treated men as humans? How many took equal social risks to meet guys? How many respected male hearts?"
Pay IS a byotch.
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Yentl clinic
> Pay IS a byotch.
Er, payback is.
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Not fade away
At age 52, I'm often taken for being younger than i am, altho I detest exercise and have never seen the inside of a gym. I don't think it has to do with my appearance as much as my attitude.
I have noticed at social gatherings that sometimes women of my age just kind of fade away in terms of their engagement with the world. The only thing they can talk about is their KIDS. It's so boring. Being passionate about something, being open to other people, being aware of and not automatically dismissive of current trends -- it all goes a long way toward being noticed, whether in the workplace or dating, if being noticed is what you're aiming for.
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as long as it's comfortable and has no grease stains..wear it
After a few years of being "invisible" one begins to like it a lot. Looking older makes people, men and women, ignore you. I was delighted to get off the viewing rack. Now comfort is the goal. I wear the most comfortable clothes I can find...no matter what the event. That said, one does not want to actually repel the young. It helps to not wear dirty smelly clothes or clothes stained with grease spots when one will be among the young. Since there are young people in my life I try to avoid that..but the rest of the stuff..hell with it..be comfy.
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Seriously?
Did I just stumble into a Cosmo page, do you really have nothing better to write about than make-up tips? There's a war, and election, Brett Favre just retired...please please fine something else to write about.
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Look at aging as a privilege
A teacher in my daughter's school died last Christmas Eve at age 41 barely eighteen months after receiving a diagnosis of ovarian cancer. When I caught myself bemoaning my 45th birthday a month later I suddenly remembered her and realized she probably would have given anything to be able to reach my age. That shut me up real quick.
Who the hell cares what you look like at age 40 and beyond? Be grateful you've made it that far.
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Nothing More Empowering than a Full Bank Account
I'm in my 50's and feeling secure and empowered. I can quit my job if it starts to annoy me and I will be ok. I can take trips and buy all the books I want.
I know I will be able to send my son to college.
My advice is to forget about your looks. Start young and work hard and save your money. It will make you feel better than any face lift.
With Mary Elizabeth Williams ruefully confessing how important her looks are expecting a lot women to feel the same way let me confess how important money is to me.
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Men are different
Never met or heard of a man (maybe celebrities aside) who cared about their looks or appearance in this manner. What's wrong with women? And don't say men's values have put them in this box -- men who care about youthful looking women go out with youthful women.