Letters to the Editor
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I'm not sure this book was really written by a heterosexual male...
But if it was, sounds like this dude is angling for the "Oprah Market:"
"Oh, a nice single bachelor, looking for Ms. Right after a bad relationship. He's too sensitive and honest to go out on the prowl. He even went so far as to buy a sex toy... all of us pudgy, sex-starved, romance-novel readers can sure empathize with that!"
Dude is single again. Time to pick up a copy of Bukowski's Women and learn from the master. Stop worrying about "their feelings." They certainly aren't worrying about yours. You'll feel a lot better, and hey, maybe you will find true love again, but it's not going to happy if you stand around waiting for it. And trying to shield your kids from the realities of adulthood is just doing them a great disservice. Your wife already left. The happy, middle-class American fantasy is long dead.
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Dude.
1. The ex has a key? Dude!
2. You have a nanny?! Dude!
3. Dude, a plastic vagina? Dude, dude, dude...
4. The nanny is flirting? Dude, flirting is the best part!
Let's review:
1. Change the locks NOW, what are you, stupid?
2. Hands off the nanny but flirt all you want.
3. A plastic vagina? Ick. Dude.
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can't believe
how many people here suggested in all seriousness that he fuck the slightly unstable nanny.
Uh, why not? Because she looks after his kids, it's an imappropriate relationship, and most importantly, women are not just around to have sex with, and even when they appear willing it can, you know, be a bad idea. Just because she doesn't realize that doesn't mean he should go ahead. Personally I think her lack of boundries should be grounds to let her go, but whatever.
You guys sound like you don't buy fake pussies because you'd rather use women instead, completely disregarding the person that surrounds the body part you want to use to just get off with. And that is different from masturbation HOW exactly?
By not fucking the nanny he is showing consideration for her as a person, something you scumbags can't even imagine.
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this is why i don't have kids!
i need lots of sex from lots of ladies! ooooh yeah, bow chicka wow wow. 37/m. happy with no kids and 2 cats. sorry i'm mean today.
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Wow.
Who is this guy dating that he gets an excerpt from his lame memoir posted on salon.com?
This read more like a fantasy excerpt from "Friends, The Divorce Years" than like someone's real life. Maybe the fact that it's an excerpt is the problem, but it still seemed like the author was all over the place - in two short pages we get nappy hair/raising a bi-racial child, nanny worries, sex shop stories (hello? internet shopping?), lame bar anecdotes, a pean to endorphins, and WAY too much bragging about how many women are coming on to him.
And speaking of which, did that sound off to anyone else? The premise is that Our Hero isn't getting laid. Yet he has a nanny in place so he's got time to go out (who, just so we know, is coming on to him), women are hitting on him in bars, the "yogi-ettes" in his yoga class (or whatever condescending name he called them) are, yes, you guessed it - coming on to him. His ultra-hep ex (we can tell because of the raw foods reference) is in his place with her own key, making his stomach churn - we're clearly supposed to think there's still hotness between them... I mean, it's ludicrous! Close the deal with one of them and get laid, already! And spare us the lame prose!
As for the "the girls found your sex toy and were fighting with it" scene, did anyone actually believe that? I didn't. Sheesh.
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Oh wow
The lamest thing I have ever read- If this 'single parent" obviously with enough assets to hire help, is whining, our world is doomed. SEX was the last thing I worried about raising a son as a single mom. Things like your sex life go on the back burner.DUH... This guy is hopeful to be the next Oprah Book of the Month. And here is another opinion, shut up dude.
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You've got to be kidding
What do you think single mothers' lives are like?
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Advice
Don't take advice from your 'wild' friend any more. Or the poster who suggested you go to a prostitute. Seriously, that's pretty pathetic.
DO - if you keep sex toys/porn/etc. at home, do lock it up! I was a nosy young woman with a single father and I am sure he'd be appalled to know that I read all his dirty books when he was out of the house. Kids find this stuff, it's inevitable. So if you HAVE TO have it, keep it locked up. Seriously. I love my dad but it's hard to respect someone when you have seen the porn he looks at and realize that's how he sees women.
DON'T do the bar scene. Unless it's a neighborhood dart bar or pool joint or a place with a trivia league and you actually like playing darts or pool or trivia or whatever.
DO - If you are looking for companionship, as others have said, go places you like to go! Take classes in something you are interested in, take your kids to the park, go to the library, museums, whatever it is you like to do. There are single people everywhere. Be yourself and generally content with life and if you are looking, you will eventually meet someone.
It's really kind of you to let your ex use your place but I'd put a stop to it. You won't have any privacy, and how are you ever going to get over her if she won't go away?
Finally, you need a different baby sitter. Then if you want to date the one you have, go for it.
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Fiction
Let's just say this book belongs firmly in the "fiction" category - "male fantasy" to be specific, one of the larger sections in the bookstore.
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Avoiding the Hot Nanny
Dude, here’s how I solved the problem of my hot nanny coming on to me. I became too poor to have a nanny (even a desperately poor one from Central America). No money, no nanny, no problem.
Oh, except the problem of being a single parent of modest means with neither the time nor the financial resources to date.
But I can live vicariously, and love nothing better than spending my spare time reading about a stud like you.