Letters to the Editor
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YES!!
THANK YOU!
For months I have been trying to articulate to people how it is, raising a kid, being a single dad, and being basically unable to date.
Thank you for putting it out there. I can't wait to read the book.
Hallelujah!
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Look Trey, I'm happily married, but I feel like I should give a brother some free advice
I don't know how much money you spent on that "thing," or what kind of imagination you must possess in order to hump it, but whatever you spent, you should have put it toward getting a blow job from a "professional woman."
At least no other guy would fault you for doing that. At least it was with a woman! And your soon-to-be ex-wife would be furious because you're actually getting a blow job, something that you probably didn't get at home since your honeymoon.
But a rubber twat? Man, nobody is going to respect you for that, not even you.
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Great story - touching, funny, honest
But unfortunately, once the father-scorning, "Single Moms are Saints and Men are Evil Deadbeat Pigs" Broadsheet Feminist readers get one look at this article, they are going to vilify and excoriate you in so many ways...
Be prepared for an assload of letters from indignant, self-righteous women ripping you a new one for daring to still have a libido - because after all, saintly single moms put their children before themselves and their own needs 24/7/365 - and you, a single dad, do not? More evidence that fathers/men are so inferior to mothers/women...etc. etc. go Hilary! etc.
You have a lot of courage in writing a story about a single dad on a website such as Salon. But now, the feminists will all reflexively crucify you for it; in fact, I won't be surprised if they accuse you of being a filthy sexist male pervert, and demand that you (or the courts) be stripped of any custody, and your kids fully returned to their mother - the ONLY parent of worth to these women.
Trey (and other sympathetic letter readers/men), brace yourselves.
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Nice story
Maybe you could have just hidden it better?
Just shows you, we're all in it together.
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Rubber Vagina! That'll Get Them To Read Me!
Why do single fathers think they're so special and adorable when single women raise children and face these issues by themselves all the time without people fawning over them for being so precious and cute?
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I'm not a single father.
In fact, I'm a woman without children. Despite my differences from Trey Ellis, I really enjoyed this piece. It reveals the way that we can all wake up and find our lives not only very different than we expected, but also absurd.
I guess another reason I can feel that pain is that I've been in the Brig with the 20-somethings. At that time, it had just moved from dive to destination and the "kids" next to me were imitating the "wazzup" frogs from that commercial. That's no place to meet someone to love.
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I'm a 'broadsheet feminist' and...
I totally empathize with this guy! This is an embarassment story straight out of Seventeen magazine, right up there with your parents catching you masturbating or accidentally leaving a period stain on your friend's white couch. Hey, at least the kids had no idea what they were playing with!
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Specimen 1: Anon 7:37's post
And so it begins....
The drumbeat of vilification for the horrid "Single Father".
Yes, your majesties - single moms are blameless saints who are better than any other type of parental unit: mom/dad couples, single dads, GLBT couples etc.
Yes, your majesties - anyone who dares to talk about a dilemma in his/her life as a parent who is not a saintly single mom should be vilified, tarred and feathered.
May we kiss your all-knowing feminist feet now?
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I'm Confused Here
I think I speak for many of the monogamous married fathers in the audience when I wonder...
Why can't you bang the nanny?
I can't bang my 21 year-old babysitter because I'm married, not because she's the babysitter. Nobody with any sense will dispute that single fatherhood is hard. Don't make it harder by imposing stupid rules on yourself like "no banging the babysitter."
RG
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It's fine in theory...
An article about trying to have sex as a single father is fine in theory, but this is a collection of only tenuously-connected anecdotes that don't really go anywhere.
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The Saddest Thing in the World
A man with a victim complex.
"ooh, the feminists are castrating me by making a mean face!"
Just shut up already, you whiny-ass little titty babies.
RG
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Broadsheet feminist here
You didn't ask my advice, but I am going to give it to you anyway. I don't think you should let your ex use your apartment. That just makes it harder to really get over all of this. And she's already got another man, which makes seeing her worse. And she's intimate with you enough to tell you about the kids getting your "thing", but she's not banging you. It's all the downsides of having a wife with none of the perks.
As far as getting some, relax about it. It sounds like y'all broke up not long ago, and it's really OK to be uncomfortable getting back into the dating scene. I know there is probably some pressure, since it looks like your ex had your replacement picked when she left (again, I don't know how you stand having her in your apartment), but if you don't get any for a while, it's not the end of the world and you WILL have sex again. I wouldn't do the babysitter because eventually, if not immediately, you'd have to find a new babysitter and good ones are rare and don't come cheap. She sounds kind of like she wants you lusting after her, and that kind of woman is sometimes a bit of a drama queen once banged. You do NOT want that situation in a person taking care of your kids. Plus, she may just be a tease, and getting shot down by someone living in your house is not what your ego needs right now. It's easier to take from a person you don't ever have to see again.
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Good stuff
I liked the writing very much. I haven't noticed trouble getting women's attention with kids - it's more of an attention getter, especially if the kids are attractive. And perhaps on a basal level it shows your fertile, stable, and dedicated to family.
As for your ex - part ways, big time. Having her around like that is not healthy. The relationship you're still in with her sounds like a continuation of the problems that lead to the split.
Good luck and best to you and yours.