Letters to the Editor
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I Understand
First of all, I understand what Ms. Eyre Ward is going through. Just because she's a writer and has a flexible schedule doesn't translate into her having oodles of money (or at least it doesn't for me). Perhaps she does. Even if she does, I do feel a bit sorry for her, though not as sorry for women who have fewer possibilities open to them, such as single mothers, mothers with little income, etc. But just because her situation isn't AS dire as someone else's doesn't mean she isn't missing out of some things because she elected to be someone's mother.
I'm also a writer, and I can say, as a recent mother of two, it's pretty hard to get a chance to read a book, take a shower, read a book, write a page--you know, all the things that make writers happy. Most people maybe read a few books a year, but writers read tons, and if you're a nerdy-girl used to reading upwards of 50 books a year and it drops down to 5 or 6, you can feel pretty depressed. This situation obviously isn't as dire as the woman trying to f**king feed her kids, but that's a given. A woman trying to feed her kids wouldn't be writing this article in the first place (and if you want that info, I know exactly where you can get it, and can show you in the flesh, but trust me, you won't be getting that story from the safety of your laptop).
That said, I've had to move my toddlers from one place to another to work--it's not great. Not by a long shot. You can manage, but all you'll be doing is managing--and that is with HELP from my mother...I've been to lots of cool places with my kids, but kids really do thrive on stability.
Since your husband sounds like a supportive guy, and your mother like a supportive mother, here's my suggestion: YOU go to a place every once in a while and write, read, whatever. A week at a time, if your kids are over 2 years old--depending on the nature of the kids. You need time to recharge, figure out what makes your writing work (and yes, I know who you are, and what you've written) and why you're still here. It is important.
I'm NOT an upperclass white woman (I'm not white at all, nor upperclass), and I still say you deserve it. Everyone deserves to fulfill themselves. Your children deserve it, too. You can have everything, as the saying goes, but not everything at once. Let your children have the stability, but you go off when you need to and do what you need to do. Dad can watch the kids for a week or so. He's not a moron.
And don't mind the people on these boards. The fact that people are jealous of your situation means they WANT to be in your shoes. Hell, I want to be in your shoes! You've got choices. Pick one.