Dumbledore is actually closer to a hundred and five.

But I have to admit I got a kick out a photo of a fictional character posed next to real life celebrities Britney and Lohan. Still, if a fictional character's sexuality is among the biggest news of the year, we're really in trouble.

Normally, I run away from stories like this one. The way Mass Media tends to cover them make me go through all the stages of grief, spending most of my time on Anger, because they cover these stupid pseudoscandals with a furor and breathlessness that they can't muster for real scandals that actually, you know, affect our lives. (See Terror, War on. See also Constitution, Shredding of.)

But I'm so glad I read this, because it was absolutely hilarious. Your snarky tone and refusal to take any of this seriously provides the mocking that these stories -- and their subjects -- so richly deserve.

Thanks for the laughs, and I'll be looking forward to whatever 2008 brings.

The Office of Independent Review recently issued a report on their investigations of controversial cases in the Sheriff's Department. The panel of attorneys found that Hilton did not get preferential treatment when she was sent home early. On the contrary, she was treated worse than women at her same offense level when she was made to serve her full sentence in jail.

"The perception was that Miss Hilton was getting a sweet deal, when in fact any woman who comes into the jail is given a sentence that is markedly below what the judge says she deserves," said the chief attorney on the review panel, according to the LA Times.

The panel found that Mel Gibson was given special treatment because of his celebrity status.

LA County is now planning a brand new jail. Sheriff Baca is overseeing the design and he's being helped by the ACLU. The new jail will have better facilities for mentally ill prisoners in particular.

One could attribute this sudden willingness on the part of the county to build a new county jail to the light shed on the problem of jail overcrowding in the wake of the Paris Hilton debacle.

One point that this article did not observe...that most gossip mags don't observe...is that the bigger and longer the sex scandal, the smaller and more uninteresting is the talent of the person involved. Paris Hilton has done nothing that will be remembered after her death (God, may it come soon, from her being accidentally parachuted into Compton, please!) or Britney Spears or the others.

The only exception in this tale of woe is Daniel Radcliffe, who might have enjoyed this example of "I'm not a little kid any more" exposure. It was less observed that he was in a play that's a dead-serious drama than that he was briefly naked. It wasn't "Oh, Calcutta!" by a long shot.

Anyone see "Bella?" I wish I hadn't.

What a great way to start the day.

Wait a sec--the fact that Jody is gay is supposed to have just "come out" this year? You gotta be kidding me. I'm probably the least gossip-aware person on the planet but I've had it as part of whatever set of synapses pertain to Foster, an actress I admire, since, I dunno, forever maybe? Since (at least) Contact, anyway. That was, what, 1997?

Isn't this a bit like "outing" Ellen Degeneres???

OK, I'm done with Salon.com as a paid subscriber. The end of the year tabloid-style reviews were the straw that broke the camel's back. Your dedication to Paglia didn't help either. Goodbye!

Please don't suppy links that have obvious viruses in the links.

and this is your front-page story?

talk to each other? Or heaven forbid, read each other's work? Havrilesky writes that 2007 was the year that the inmates took over the asylum, and Traister immediately writes a column confirming their ownership of Salon.

I've been reading Salon since its inception, and have been dismayed at its decline into the online version of People Magazine. The spectacle isn't as bad as watching The New York Times and The Washington Post decline into the house organ of the GOP, but it has been dishearening all the same.

I no longer read Salon on a daily basis. Just as I can only consume so much junk food before I start to crave real food, I can only consume so much he said she said heaven's to betsy we don't know no nothing we distort you decide drival that pretends to be a progressive magazine. Shame!

Equating Daniel Radcliffe’s turn in Equus with the naked hi-jinks of a bunch of idiots was enough to make me stop reading the article. I promise you, Ms. Traister, if you had ever seen or read the play, wand jokes would be the furthest thing from your mind. This article reminds me of how I found out about Equus. One of my students, a freshman, ran into my classroom shrieking “he’s gonna be naked! He’s gonna be naked” She was very excited and desperate to fly to London so she could see Harry Potter without his pants. I was unimpressed and uninterested until she started making comments about him being in a play about horses. I looked it up and sure enough, little Harry is playing Alan Strang. How depressing that Salon is not interested in the extremely challenging, complex and DRAMATIC role young Radcliffe portrayed. Like a teenage girl, it’s all about seeing his wand.

Usually I go straight to Glenn Greenwald; this seemed sick and tawdry enough to change that routine, and I'm glad I did. Laughs all around.

I do think you meant that partial-birth abortions occur after the 22d week of pregnancy, not the 12th as you wrote.

Mais bien sur!

And here's another shocker: Rebecca Traister has written still another painful piece saturated in Daddy's-so-unfair feminism. I especially like the way she cracks wise about a fellow teenager's genitals -- of the male variety, natch. God only knows she's scolded us all in articles past for giving the much-misunderstood Britney grief on account of her less-than-perfect-yet-eagerly-displayed body. Oh, but that's a tragedy, don't you know.

How's this for a wand joke? Rebecca Traister has ten of them, five on each hand, by which she apparently makes a living. It would also appear there's a mind that guides them over the keyboard, but that's a guess.

Double standards are hilarious.