Letters to the Editor
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I'm somewhat big busted and have lost 20 lbs. in the last month.
20 more pounds and hopefully my breasts will be a virtual memory. I ride hunters over fences (Horses that jump fences for looks rather than height or speed.) and my boobage makes riding gracefully extremely difficult. If you want to live in a world where small boobs are the ones to have, try riding hunter/jumper.
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Boobs
Thanks for the article. I agree - don't listen to the meanies. When I was young I used to be obsessed by my breasts and their absolute flatness. My best friend was short and had large breasts. I was envious of her. She would tell me that she was envious of me. I never believed her until she got breast reduction surgery.
That was when I realized she was serious.
My flatness - I like it now. But it took many years to come to terms with it. I was embarrassed to take my clothes off in front of a man. But after being with many who thought I was just fine, I stopped thinking about it any more.
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Men Like Numbers
I wouldn't slam your ex for asking what size your breasts were. We men like numbers and measurements. Look at our obsession with sports statistics. We always have to know the height and weight of our athletes, how much they can bench press, what their speed in the 40-yard dash is, ect. It's a way of organizing our world into categories.
Asking what size you were was his way of codifying your boobs; of placing them within the context of his world of numbers and statistics. Men do it with other men, too. A gay man can admire another man's penis, but he also has to know: how many inches?
As a man who's attracted to large breasts, it's hard for me to know how to act around women with them. Some of them like to flaunt them, and others, like Sarah, are embarrassed by them. Thanks for this article. I appreciate the difficulties you go through as a short, well-endowed woman, and I apologize in advance for any unwanted attention guys like me will give you because of it. I understand how hard it can be to write about something so personal, especially considering the abuse you've been getting in these letters.
Short Man, 5.5 inches
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Issues with EVERYTHING
As a woman who has issues with her breasts - and what woman doesn't, at some point, really -
Issues with this, issues with that. It is no wonder women cannot just relax and enjoy themselves when all they worry about is issues and generating MORE issues.
Guys do not constantly have issues with everything. Guys are easy. Guys enjoy.
Do you women ever stop and think that if you worried less, nobody would be the wiser for it?
Having issues and worries only trumps up the stress factor for everyone around you, takes time away from life, and puts you on a path to low self esteem.
Maybe it is the puritanical/victorian thing to constantly distract oneself so you cannot just live in the moment. I don't know. But I am sick of the Nervous Nellie attitudes where 'good' is not 'good enough'.
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Breast reduction might be in order
I personally prefer smaller breasted women always have.
But this is the part I really like:
She talks about how she grew up in an all-white town full of skinny-minnies, and then she quotes the colored clerk...in dialect. Priceless!
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Revel in the differences
I love women's bodies in all shapes and sizes. Call it objectification if you want, but it is merely enjoying the differences in the male and female forms. I find long, leggy, flat chested women attractive as well as those of the "Jane Russell" variety. I dated an reveled in the figures of those with nary an A cup to those who could be the author's sister.
I am guilty of staring at women. I try not to, or to do so discretely, but I enjoy watching them. Part of it happens to be the physical form, part of it happens to be the way in which they carry themselves. A certain persona exudes to me a sensuality regardless of their shape and size. It's fun to ponder.
And, no, I do not like strip clubs. It's seedy and hokey and I can't help feeling sorry for the poor girls at work like that.
But show me a self assured women comfortable in her own skin and I cannot help but ponder the possibilities.
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Is This an American "Thing" or Universal?
If someone knows, I curious whether concern over breast size as too small or too large is just an American "thing" or whether it's world wide.
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Enough self-deprecation!
If I have to read one more letter from a woman who talks about how glad she is that she got her breasts reduced so that she could fit into fashion, or one more letter from a man who says how much he prefers small-breasted women . . .
For that matter, if I have to read one more story on Salon about a woman who is uncomfortable in her own skin, even in her thirties . . .
Seriously, can we stop the self-deprecation? There are whole entire industries built on the fact that most women will never be pleased with their physical appearances. Women who manipulate their bodies through surgery so that they can conform to fashion, and men who respond to a story like this by talking about their preference for small breasts all add to the problem.
And the writer who still feels self-conscious of her curvaceous figure at 32? Please, grow up!
I am 31 and yes, no bra in Victoria's Secret will ever fit my ample chest. Do I get upset with myself? No, I get upset with the bra conglomerate that tries to make me feel upset with myself. And as far as all these complaints women have about back pain from carrying around their chests, try yoga in a good sports bra -- it works. I can only speak from my own experience, which is that I do not suffer from pain, I love my body and I love how it looks with or without clothes. This is who I am, this is what my ancestors gave to me, and no lewd comments from guys in cars nor discrimination from the fashion world will ever change my mind about that.