Letters to the Editor
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This reminds me of...
...an assembly held in my high school around 1969 or so. A young, relatively hip med student was asked to speak to us about drugs, and during a question-and-answer session, somebody asked, "Is it true that shooting up peanut butter will get you high?"
The med student explained how putting something like that into your system was probably a bad way to kill yourself. But then he stopped in mid-sentence and turned to the person who asked the question and said-- "Plain or crunchy?"
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I'm pretty sure...
That if huffing sewage got you high, we would not just be finding out about it in the 21st century.
I do find it very interesting that all of this came up within days of Warren Ellis posting a micro-fiction story involving Jenkem on his website - http://warren-ellis.livejournal.com/?skip=3
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A Vote For Romney
A Vote For Romney is a vote for Jenkem!
What are they gonna do? Make shit illegal?
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Possible beginning
This is probably completely unverifiable, but it seems at least plausible to me that the parent that heard something about "jenkem" from her kids really heard them saying "Gen Chem" - or General Chemistry. Anyways, regardless of how the original rumor started it's an amazing display of how the national drug panic really has gone too far.
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Jenkem
Does this mean we get to call those people Shitheads and really mean it?
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Yessiree!
That's why I like living downwind of the hog farm.
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Felonious defication
Regardless of its validity, this story is just too, too funny.
If I took a dump in Zambia, could I be arrested for manufacturing a controlled substance?
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Imagine
if you really could get high off of bullshit ;)
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and of course
gives a whole new meaning to 'has a little Labrador in it' (just in case...Cheech and Chong)
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So have you heard about "slap"?
It's the new drug rage all over England. It's made from beef fat. Anyone can make it in their kitchen once they learn the secret.
It's suppose to knock you into dreamland for a week or two. Young people have been abusing it to save money. They get "slapped up" and have their bodies put in storage. They can sleep for weeks at a time, saving money they'd otherwise be spending on rent, food and drink.
They are literally sleeping away their young lives on this drug.
Sorry I'm laughing too hard now to type any more. "Slap" was a drug hoax someone pulled on British journalists a few years back.
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Ok I just HAD to include this
from Up in Smoke ~~ Pedro: Man, what is in this shit, man?
Man Stoner: Mostly Maui Waui man, but it's got some Labrador in it.
Pedro: What's Labrador?
Man Stoner: It's dog shit.
Pedro: What?
Man Stoner: Yeah, my dog ate my stash, man.
Pedro: Yeah?
Man Stoner: I had it on the table and the little motherfucker ate it, man. Then I had to follow him around with a little baggie for three days, man, before I got it back. Really blew the dog's mind, ya know?
Pedro: You mean we're smokin' dog shit, man?
Man Stoner: Gets ya high, don't it?
[Song, "Rockin' Robin" plays... ]
Man Stoner: I think it's even better than before, you know?
Pedro: Uhhh, I wonder what Great Dane tastes like, man.
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I cant help it....
does this have anything to do with why some men like to sniff panties??????? I will stop now, promise.
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Whaa..? I call hoax!
Dr. Fumito Ichinose (icky nose?)
I say the whole damn article was a joke.
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pretty funny, pseudomono
and at first i took this as a joke but, "a 16-year-old relayed similar experiences to the Times of Zambia, explaining that "With glue, I just hear voices in my head. But with jenkem, I see visions. I see my mother who is dead and I forget about the problems in my life." is very sad. and after "Dr. Fumito Ichinose, an anesthesia specialist in Boston who last year conducted a study on the effects of hydrogen sulfide gas" it could be a problem. hydrogen sulfide is more poisonous than carbon monoxide (it doesn't kill so often because it stinks). there are easier ways of getting it though and i wouldn't like sad suicidal kids to make in chemistry lab and kill themselves trying to avoid their pain. but i'm probably just being a sucker, like was intended.
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I'm glad the DEA is taking this shit seriously
Pun intended :)
If there is a widely available, zero cost alternative to pot, and Zambian kids say it's even better (though one wonders how a kid who lives on the streets and huffs shit could afford any pot to compare it with), maybe we will finally see legalization of the completely safe cannibus. As well as reams of required documentation in triplicate for Authorization to Defecate that we will have to fill out once a day and have approved by various functionaries, billion dollar programs for the safe removal and secure storage of sewage, federalization of all water closets in the US and a TSA guard at every bathroom door (be sure to remove your shoes before taking a dump), and controls on the sale of Ex-Lax much like we have for Advil Cold and Sinus now.
And I will bet my bottom dollar that if no American kid had ever tried this before, one will by the end of the week now that the story is out there. Kids huff butane, and if anything that smells worse than week old shit.
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I tell my kids' friends to get high as much as possible
It's a cold hard competitive world out there and anything you can do to weed yourself out and shift the balance in my favor would be greatly appreciated.
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It's older than Totse
Pictures and stories of this were floating around the random board on 4chan.org long before the totse ones mentioned here.
If you know anything about 4chan you know enough not to credit this. Mind you - toxic gases are produced that will do you harm if huffed in quantity but there are far easier and cheaper highs to be had by our children with less disgusting ingredients ...
The "choking game" seems like a much more legitimate and dangerous worry ...
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Stupidest thing I have ever heard
When I first saw this as a news item a few days ago I had to laugh. Who in their right mind would do this? Definitely a hoax.
Then, when I saw it being taken seriously, I thought this is yet another example of what has been the continuing downward spiral of public policy and discourse.
We should take this seriously, but not for the substance itself. This is official proof that we are huffing more crap from our news outlets and public dialog, our misguided war on drugs and war on terrorism than from any other possible source. In these conditions, who in this country has any need to huff jenkem?
Actually, I take that back. Perhaps the 30%+ of the population that actually thinks the Iraq war is still a good thing should start a jenkem habit. At least they would have an excuse for their thinking.