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Saturday, November 3, 2007 12:00 AM

How Oprah ruined the marathon

America's competitive spirit has been wrecked by feel-good amateurs like Oprah whose only goal is to stagger across the finish line.

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  • Friday, November 2, 2007 08:17 PM

    Huh?

    Edward McClelland... I'm 53. I just finished my first one.. and let's see.... that makes one more than you if my math is correct.

    I'm one of those "No pain, no pain" kind of guys who thought he'd never start a marathon, let alone finish. My prodding and much younger wife convinced me to run it and I was at the finish line waiting on her. We spent the better part of the year gently training just to see if we could do it. We prevailed. Next one will be faster, now that we know how the stresses are accomodated.

    And if you do finally finish one in the spring, we will still have beat YOU by more than a year. Slacker.

    We didn't wuss out puking on the sidelines because we didn't know our limits. No one picked my weak kneed ass up off the pavement because I couldn't go on any more. I'm not writing articles lambasting a pudgy black woman who seeks to inspire her following to attempt something greater in their lives than staring at a TV. (Rock on, Oprah!)

    Sure, while I may suck as an Olympic candidate, if gives me some comfort to suspect that you probably suck at calculus.

    To me, it's a run, not a race. The race is between me and me, and yes, there were hundreds who finished in front of and behind me, and while I will NEVER finish one in under 3 hours, I'll shave a few minutes off each one I run.

    Hundreds of generations of ancestors behind me, and to my knowledge, none of them ran a marathon. My entire high school graduating class of 400? Probably 10 of them have.

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