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Damn all of those weekend warriors and their four-hour finish times who had the temerity to ruin Edward McClelland's party! What next, handicapped people at the Olympics? Married women in Miss America? It's the decline of civilization, I tell you! Pretty soon a geeky guy from Tennessee will think he has the right to win the Nobel Peace Prize! Why can't you be happy with aerobics class at the Y like all of the other gym class failures?
{ shakes fist }