Letters to the Editor
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Today
Marriage is about putting one (many) over on men.
1. Lure them into thinking they will be sexually gratified
2. Suck them of money
3. Keep them tightly controlled by using fear of the courts and police
Sounds like a BALL.
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I thought one of my female renters was a decent human being
so I could not for the life of me figure out why she did not automatically have custody of her boy.
This weekend I found out this skank got rip roaring drunk, hopped in a car and killed an innocent human being.
It took THAT MUCH to take her child from her. And her behavior took an innocent person's life.
I don't know how women can live with themselves these days when the young women are so consistently deranged and lacking in anything resembling humanity.
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Your mindset
"my spouse and i are getting a no fault mediated divorce (trying to avoid lawyers until they're absolutely necessary). we care about each other, we respect each other. and for all intents and purposes i wish him the best and hope that he will be happy. but that doesn't mean i don't think he's an ass sometimes. i know for a fact he's thought the same about me."
how awful. your spouse is an ass sometimes. is that the reason you're getting divorced? because if it is, i can assure you that you will never find someone who's not an ass, some of the time. you yourself are probably an ass sometimes.
the willingness of married couples to consider divorce at the slightest sign of trouble in the marriage is the MAIN reason for all of these fads resulting from divorces. it's not just consumerism, it's pop culture, which promotes 'new beginnings' and 'starting over' a la Hollywood.
marriage is not about fabulous sex, the best house, the most friends, the biggest parties. it's about learning to live with someone for the rest of your life. unfortunately, these days, marriage is about experimentation, or simply trying the person on for size. if it doesn't work, oh well. plenty of fish in the sea, right?
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Response to Laurel962
Your take on custody and no-fault divorce was absolutely right EXCEPT for your statement that courts don't order joint custody most of the time. In most states, they do it routinely, thanks to years of lobbying by fathers rights groups. In California, we've had a law on the books for years PROHIBITING a presumption of joint custody, but the courts ignore it and impose JC all the time.
Divorce can free women from abusive situations and must always be an "out" for them, BUT until women and men have genuine economic parity (and especially until women who stay home and raise the kids aren't dumped on and demonized in divorce courts), the playing field is light years away from being equal. The breakup of marriage is a very bad economic situation for most women.
A final observation on joint custody: Voluntary JC is a fine arrangement for families that want and can afford it, although -- guess what -- a recent study in California found that such arrangements often revert after a few years into primary-custody-with-Mom-visitation-with-Dad, since that's the most workable situation for the majority of folks.
(A bit off topic: what's happened to Ben Dover lately? I sort of miss his rantings on topics like this. brightstar has the right level of misogyny, but his entries need to be longer before he can step up and claim the successor title.)
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gifting
In the past several years both of my brothers left their wives of 30 years for younger women. Lots of pain, anger and bitterness all around. No one was celebrating anything or asking for gifts. Fortunately the kids were grown and on their own. I have been giving my brothers kitchen items for Christmas since.
I think the people who are having these parties & such are pretty shallow. Maybe it's my age, but I can't imagine that many people are doing this. No one that I know, for sure.
And to Brightstar who can turn any discussion into an attack on women. My former brother-in-law drove drunk, had an accident and ended up killing his wife (my sister). He got a couple weekends in jail and the kids. Drinking and driving affects everyone; it's not a gender issue.
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Marriage is for fools
with the family law court system predisposed to the advantage of women and acting as a vehicle for transfer of wealth from those who generate it (Men!) to those who don't (Women!). Why buy the cow (accurate description) when the milk is free? Sex without commitment is great. The only reason to marry is for a stable environment for children, but a prenuptial should be mandatory. Lets face it younger, hotter chicks are more fun and always win over older, bitter, histrionic women (who typically are overweight or just plain corpulently obese) and have less baggage. When they become problematic, just trade them in for a younger model. Now you angry ladies, bring on the hate/love from your insecurity and intense anger and the Ben & Jerry's you feed your angst with.
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brightstar65
OK, we get it. You hate women. Move on.
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Trading "Up" for a Younger Wife
A couple of letters express resentment over the practice of dumping one's wife for a younger model. Certainly that indulgence goes against the concept of marriage as a permanent relationship, but I view it as almost a positive development, or at worst, morally neutral. As a man heads toward 50 or 60 his mortality is always lurking in the corners of his mind. His marital sex life/romance is normally dormant, gone despite those ads for "marital instruction" or "great sex forever", featuring impossibly hot middle-aged models. What does this guy have to live for besides watching sports on TV or reading books? Perchance he meets a winsome miss a decade or two or three younger than his wife who appreciates his "tired old" stories, his "boring" knowledge, even his savoir-faire. He says to himself "I've got two choices: the express train to the cemetery, or a few years of excitement and kisses". The children have long since left the nest. What sin is this guy committing if he opts for happiness? Causing his wife unhappiness is not normally a consideration in our society.
Thank you and I'm off....