Letters to the Editor
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One word for divorce parties, bids for gifts, and celebratory cards:
Cheesy.
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If any of our friends got divorced...
My wife would probably ban them from our social life for a while, because it might be "contagious". I am not as superstitious, but I appreciate when colleagues keep their divorces a bit private. They aren't weddings, births or graduations, which I would like to hear less about as well.
And, does anyone believe that they are actually "cheering" for each other, at least once a younger prettier rival enters the picture? That is a joke.
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Why are Americans
such assholes?
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God, this is depressing
Who celebrates a broken heart, and asks for presents?
People are so freaking greedy.
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One can't divorce.
A couple is joined by God, thus a couple can't be split by a person or persons.
One's first spouse is one's only spouse.
Thus, Ronnie Reagan was never truly married to Nancy Reagan. They weren't spouses. They were merely proligate, public adulterers. And so it also goes with the millions of allegedly divorced folks, who especially cluster in the homo-hating red states.
Or so should say the fundies if they were theologically consistent.
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consumerism hits a new low
I've had a few friends and close family members go through divorce recently. None of them saw the moment as something to celebrate (even those who knew divorce was the best thing they could do for themselves), and certainly no one saw it as an opportunity to request gifts from friends and family.
Mass emails: I can see the appeal of this. It gives people the information without needing to go into gory detail answering nosy questions, or reliving painful events. Though were I to get a mass email, I'd assume I wasn't a close friend of the sender. If my girlfriends or cousins or sisters put me on a mass-mailing, I'd probably feel hurt.
A "Hello World I'm Single" event: probably satisfying, but probably also a *really * bad idea to do before the ink dries on the divorce papers. (How many people fall into new relationships before they've recovered from their last one?)
(Themed, catered, registered) Divorce parties: Tack. E. No other word for it. It suggests that the marriage was all about the party and the gifts in the first place. I'm not interested in playing "dress-up" with grown-ups.
All that said, I've known people who leave marriages with little more than the clothes on their backs. I've gladly given clothes and children's toys to newly-single parents whose ex kept (or burned, or threw out) everything out of spite. I've taken newly-single friends out to dinner, or out to a spa day, etc., because I want to cheer them up.
Divorcees are often in need of a little more attention from their friends. Even amicable divorces are traumatic. So reaching out, making a greater effort, is a good idea. The party planning industry and gift registry departments horning in and directing this milestone is stomach-turning.
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WTF?
After all the money spent on travel, tuxes, and gifts to these people because they are getting MaRrIeD 4ever, all the attention whoring around for their special, god-blessed sacred day (in my own experience, these expenses peaking around times when I have been in school and already drowning in debt)... now these same self-centered pricks want people to GIVE GIVE GIVE them shit for their divorce?
Sorry, I'm not buying into it.
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No fault divorce was a good thing. But it needs reform. It needs to come with a rebuttable presumption of shared custody.
When people divorce now, what is the biggest thing they fight over? What causes the most harm between the couple and their children? What is hardest to repair?
What is it that makes divorce attorneys rich and leaves former partners and their offspring poor?
Children.
Fighting over children leaves couples devastated financially and emotionally. It literally ruins lives and leads to suicide. It leads to murder.
And it is completely unnecessary.
The default of the court should be a rebuttable presumption of joint shared custody.
Both parents need to know that unless there is a provable case against them, no one can take away their role as parent in their children's lives.
This would make divorces much easier to obtain, and much more amicable.
We split belongings 50/50 and then we fight to the bitter end over kids.
Fathers and Mothers both claim the court is biased against them. But Fathers groups fight for shared parenting plans while NOW and mothers groups fight for sole custody. If the courts are biased against mothers, why isn't NOW fighting for shared custody?
This would actually be a useful and interesting topic for Salon to report on, but have it your way, let's talk about divorce celebrations.
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Why wouldn't the women celebrate?
She gets the kids, the house, half the money, and huge chunk of his paycheck.
And in return, she doesn't even need to fake a headache.
Sounds like every woman's dream to me.
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Right...
Because my first instinct upon learning that two of my friends were getting divorced would be to go post something on their MySpace pages. Maybe I'm just out of touch, but something about the idea of a divorce playing out on a social networking site strikes me as utterly bizarre.
'I just got divorced! lol!'
'Congratulations! lol!'
'You suck!'
Then, after reading a little further, my brain overloaded on all the weirdness in the article and I had to go lie down for a while. Truly, people will use any occasion as an excuse to spend money.
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Ugh...
>My wife would probably ban them from our social life for a while, because it might be "contagious"<
Why would anyone still think that? Yeesh. It's women like that who regard every single woman as a threat to their may-n and do their best to ostracize them. :P
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narcissists...you think?
my spouse and i are getting a no fault mediated divorce (trying to avoid lawyers until they're absolutely necessary). we care about each other, we respect each other. and for all intents and purposes i wish him the best and hope that he will be happy. but that doesn't mean i don't think he's an ass sometimes. i know for a fact he's thought the same about me.
there's absolutely no fucking way that divorce is something to be celebrated with the masses. i don't mind talking about it with my family and very close friends. but, writing this letter notwithstanding, this is probably the most private situation i've ever been through. how these people find the strength to cope with each other, not to mention their own grief, and then tell the whole damn world is beyond me. as if that's not bad enough they have the nerve to ask for gifts? they don't need gifts, they need to grow the hell up.