Letters to the Editor
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Well, I enjoyed it
I for one enjoyed the areticle. I enjoyed the article even though I am not a middle aged gay man with HIV and a crooked dick. Strange but true.
This website is called Salon, the header on the front page reads, Breaking news, opinion, politics, entertainment, sports and culture. This website is not called OMFG WAR! or even "We hate everything the executive office did today, especially breathing". I come to this site every day. Every day there are a number of articles that mostly touch on at least one of the Salon topics. Some days I come here and there is not an article I want to read. I accept this because I am aware that the site is not called "better find out what heather likes and publish it quick". This site is called Salon. It is meant to appeal to a wide audience.
Sometimes that audience won't be you, sometimes it will be.
On a more personal note, there are days when I suffer Iraq burnout. Days when I cannot bear to hear about another car bomb, another strike at the enemy, another uninformed tallking spouting an uneducated opinion about the war. I am glad that not every article is about the war. I am grateful for the variety. I still care very deeply about what is happening in Iraq, but also I care about other things. Like crooked gay dick.
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Good Penis of the North
I'm sorry for Mr. Kurth's troubles, but you know, it wouldn't really matter to me if his penis pointed all four directions simultaneously as long as his pen points towards the paper. His biography of Dorothy Thompson is still one of the best bios I've ever read. (Salon folks, if you think this little article was good, I urge you go out and get Kurth's Thompson bio called American Cassandra.)
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Thanks for this one...
My husband tested HIV positive last year. I had no idea what to expect and stopped thinking of any future. Because of his status, we were unable to proceed with a move and job change we'd previously announced, so we came up with a hasty cover story and we've been living a lie ever since. I've just avoided people completely, or when I meet people I just try to get them talking about themselves and that usually stops them from asking questions about us. We're both well into middle age, but in our case the question is how to plan our retirement -- if we ever get one together -- and whether we've done too much scrimping and saving and not enough spending a little on ourselves. He still doesn't want to talk about what his prospects are, and I know that he's covered up some early symptoms to avoid upsetting me (like when his feet started hurting -- he invented a whole new unrelated-to-HIV condition to explain it away). I found this article helpful because I am absolutely starved for information of any kind on what I should expect in my future.
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Implants are great
As a happy possessor of a penile implant for lo these twelve years, I can tell you that if you get the right model, it is completely unnoticeable to you, and your partners, and is a gift from the gods. Don't get the hard rods, they don't inflate and it's very noticeable if you have weak erections. Don't get the big pump in the scrotum -- it is noticeable and I hear somewhat uncomfortable. The little pump, like an extra testicle, in the scrotum and tubes going to the revervoir behind your abdominal wall leading to inflatable tubes in the penis are the best bet.
I'm guessing that such an implant might produce some degree of discomfort or strangeness going against a full natural erection with a curve in it, and that, ironically, it would work better the more you are impotent. But I'll defer to the experience of others on that point.
My main message is, celebrate your sexuality as long as you live. I believe in a sex-positive world, that sex is so obviously intimate that it can and should be associated with consideration and affection for one's partner, even in a recreational context, and that doing that will spread joy in the world, and peace.
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My crooked penis cured itself...
I think I injured my dick about 40 years ago by some overenthusiastic (heterosexual) sex. It got straight again after a few years. I was getting lots of orgasms with my wife who needed, and still needs, lots of love. In her 60's she thinks that every other day is about right. My dick remains straight. I only wish I could get as hot she does as quickly. Who says that women need a lot of foreplay compared to men?
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He's HIV+... What about a sex drive?
I find it fascinating that the author seems to think of his HIV+ status as some kind of Scarlet Letter, marking him as unsuitable as a sexual being(at least where other people are concerned). There are condoms, even though they're not foolproof. There are other HIV+ people out there. There are people who would doubtless enjoy sex with him, with full disclosure and the appropriate safeguards.
Since I'm somewhat active in the bear community, I see a /lot/ of guys out there who are poz and still sexually active.
It's a shame he's let the virus rob him of that.
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You know what gets to me about this article.......
Very simply, that was a beautiful article.
Thank you.
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Nice
"And count me lucky to still be here under a bright sky in Vermont, when the wind in the trees is blowing in great, beautiful waves as summer turns to autumn, years after I pledged to Jon that we never would grow old."
Coming from a completely different life, I didn't want to read your story because I didn't think there was anything in it I could relate to. Funny thing is, just this morning, while driving to work, I thought to myself, "Why do we have to die? Why can't we live forever?" And then I read your article, and realized we have more in common than I initially thought. Love your writing, hope to read more soon.