Letters to the Editor

This letter is associated with the following article:
I realized I was addicted to gossiping, so I quit. But after four months, my friends think I'm a narcissistic bore -- and all I want to do is dish some dirt.
  • Try listening for a change!

    Instead of telling stories, whether they be about the mundane details of your daily life or the juicy details of the lives of others, why not try asking other people questions? Don't tell them about your online banking experiences: ask about their weekend, their dog, their partner, their likes, dislikes, hobbies, etc., etc. Many people love talking about themselves, so they wouldn't be bored, and you wouldn't be gossiping.

    The truth here is, I think, that you are rationalizing your desire to gossip. For example, you state:

    "Without asking for advice from people in the know, how on earth would I decide if I was getting a raw deal?"

    What does this even mean? Of course you can ask advice from others without gossiping. The two have little to do with one another. You pretend not to know the difference beteween discussing the affairs of others when necessary to achieve some specific goal (as in your example of your parents and your wedding) and mean spirtited gossip. Of course you know the difference. They feel different for one.

    I have always felt that those who need to speak ill of other people to gain attention don't feel worthy of attention based on their own merits. I know you intended this to be a light-hearted article, but after reading about your experience, I feel rather sad for you. Keep gossiping if you must, but don't give up on examining the reasons why you feel the need to do so.