Letters to the Editor
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Yeah
get to know a girl first. Then she can call you her friend.
We guys cannot win to save our lives. Really, it might be time to move to another culture that does not despise love and sex and romance so much.
Are the women just not able to figure out which guys are for real and which guys are just players? You would think 4 billion years of evolution would have taught women something.
My guess is that women willingly play into players hands when they are younger (because the players are cute, charming, hot), then they forget to discern after that or are too bitter to bother. I suppose if most guys are desperate to hook up around you, you pretty sooon forget what a real guy who is not playing is like. Or maybe women have a category they put guys into- the category of those guys who are not playing is the same category of "he is not interested in me" or "he is a friend".
sad all around. But from what I hear, books like the Game are putting women into their shells further.
Hey, here is a novel approach. WHY DON'T YOU WOMEN MAKE THE MOVES ON US MEN WHO YOU REALLY WANT! It is player proof. Too much to ask in this age of so called equality. what feminism has wrought...
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"Reality" - the most abused word in American culture
Is the the "seduction scene" in LA reality?
The women in the Youtube photo montage (linked in the second paragraph- and interesting glimpse into his so-called "reality" )- does anyone really think any one of them wants to "replicate?"
The former Dungeons & Dragons geek has found a niche in a subculture where a bunch of girls & boys gone wild need and deserve eachother for validation.
There's nothing wrong with adults hooking up for consensual fun, but to think this guy has THE method is just silly.
Attention Fellas: Mystery's "reality" is a circus, and if you think you need to join it to get laid, your problems are probably sadder and deeper than he's qualified to help you with.
This isn't "reality," and there is no mystery.
Not with a capital M, anyway.
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Paths and goals
"A fact is something you can verify with evidence. You can't verify this with anything but anecdotes and theory."
What is proof? Assumptions that temporarily comply with current theories? How many "facts" later end up refuted? Plus poetry often says more than history. And anecdotes have more impact than data. My point was simple: It's relatively easier for women to get laid.
"the Times...Autistic men have an easier time of it socially…."
You cite the feminist NY York Times? It pushed the idea that girls were short-changed in school because boys got called on more. It neglected to say the boys were called on to be PUNISHED. Hardly a neutral gender source.
"Men, on average, have more sexual partners than women."
How so? Whom do they partner with? Take 100 men and 100 women. If 10 men screw 40 women, which gender has more sex? Each of 40 women get laid once; 90 men get nothing. Plus women, socialized to feel slutty after multiple partners, are likely to lie on surveys.
"The pain-janes get rejected by even the nerdy nice guys."
If both female and male nerds want to get laid, the former have an easier time.
"I don't have male friends. I'm not that naive."
Naive? Or misandric? Half the world is defective, not worth your time? If someone said that about blacks, what would we think?
"All social events for adults are now understood to be clandestine singles events..."
Grocery shopping, too? Singles ARE "everywhere." Does that make every venue they visit a meat market?
"why would I go learn salsa dancing when it means listening to yet another man try to make me impress him a la Mystery?"
Because salsa is fun. And not all men are jerks.
"Men know it's murderously painful for a woman to get played."
Men get hurt by women, too.
"… they're attracted to her. Ergo, she's a maneating bitch, and fair game for whatever damage they can inflict."
There ARE grifters in the world, male and female. There are also people who rob the unsuspecting. That’s why it’s important to know oneself, be aware of surroundings. Otherwise, one becomes misanthropic.
"Lust and affection aren't the same thing."
Together they make winning combination, though. :>)
"Jerks don't make passes at girls who wear glasses."
Use contacts then. Besides. plenty of women who wear glasses look hot. It's also how the woman carries herself, dresses, acts. Body language says a lot. A frumpily dressed female, afraid of her own sexuality, WILL scare men away.
"I…married [a nerd]....My sister raved…how nice he was...[O]nce he started earning a certain amount…he…trade[d] his 30-year-old wife in for a younger model..."
What drew you to him in the first place? His neediness? Innocence? What made him leave? Was the girl just young…or exciting, optimistic, and sexual, too? Was your sex life satisfying? More platonic than passionate? Did you not sense things heading south long before he left?
"when all of the men are acting like jerks, separating the wheat from the chaff is...unnecessary."
ALL men? Are they jerks or tired of pleasing unpleasable women? It takes 2 to tango after all. Sometimes women get shocked when men finally stand up and refuse to be doormats.
Did you bring enough to the table? Did you give up on yourself-- and him? If he was seeing another woman, did you not know? Did he never become sexually unavailable? Did you unpack the baggage you brought to the relationship?
I'm not saying you're to blame. You just seem to blame him and "men" for all problems.
"Who are the real casualties, anyway? Me, with my books and my cocoa? Or the men who become burnt-out laughingstocks?"
Both. Them for shooting past the mark. You for thinking, a la Simon and Garfunkel, that books and poetry will protect you. You've unsexed yourself. How sad is THAT?
"I...chose a path that offered peace, contentment and a sense of contribution..."
Death looks peaceful, too. And contentment that excludes half the world seems problematic to me.
On the other hand, there ARE hermits, loners, mountain men, and other recluses in the world. Perhaps they’re happy. They seem lonely to me: people who shut down after too much pain.
"I can study at home…[and] curl up on the couch with a cup of cocoa and a book."
Sounds lonely, librarian-like. Only you know, though.
" is dating really more fun?"
Depends on the woman and why. Some people date to avoid feeling lonely. Dating someone one likes, though, is wonderful. No book stirs the soul like a lover's kiss. Those who only read/write about such stuff miss out. They're half dead. They've chosen safety over life. They must have been seriously abused/hurt/neglected. It breaks the heart to hear about kids whose only friends are books and pets.
I think Mystery had a lonely, neglect-filled childhood. Like Howard Stern, he’s passed on that pain. Stern was ostracized at Boston University for being geeky. He's based his career on avenging that. Only he never goes after the bullies who taunted/demeaned him. He attacks the vulnerable and unattractive who remind him of himself.
No matter now funny his other skits, bullying the wounded is cowardly. I prefer Mister Rogers.
Mystery avoids intimacy. He seeks flings with needy women who remind him of his own unmet needs. When he met a balanced woman it unbalanced him. He may help some men, but he does so by making them as callused as himself. Like a DI, he teaches men to make “killer moves” by first numbing themselves. After that they feel no commonality with Others/Women. How will he fare when older, though, lacking intimacy skills?
You and Mystery make an odd couple. He proves that all men are users. You prove that women really don't care about men or their feelings. Neither of you seems willing to open your heart again.
Tant pis.