Letters to the Editor
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Leonard Cohen, etc.
1. I skimmed “The Game.” This Mystery is no mystery—dude had a nervous breakdown when he met the right woman. Even Neil Strauss said he had no idea how to “do” a relationship.
2. Listen to Leonard Cohen's take on all this. Here, for example, is the Mystery-educated man who falls:
I loved you for your beauty
but that doesn't make a fool of me:
you were in it for your beauty too
and I loved you for your body
there's a voice that sounds like God to me
declaring, declaring, declaring that your body's really you
And I loved you when our love was blessed
and I love you now there's nothing left
but sorrow and a sense of overtime
and I missed you since the place got wrecked
And I just don't care what happens next
looks like freedom but it feels like death
it's something in between, I guess
it's CLOSING TIME
3. Here’s the post-Mystery man when he’s caught a seat on the clue train:
It's coming from the women and the men.
O baby, we'll be making love again.
We'll be going down so deep
the river's going to weep,
and the mountain's going to shout Amen!
It's coming like the tidal flood
beneath the lunar sway,
imperial, mysterious,
in amorous array:
Democracy is coming to the U.S.A.
4. Confidential to AKA Smith: you were pitch-perfect and a ray of hope, until you brought up the dogs and the chocolate. Not attractive. Even for enlightened men it means: I’ve given up, I don’t like men.
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Neg /= Insult
You people don't seem to understand what the term "neg" means. You seem to think it's some creepy put down. It's not. Mystery says himself in the interview that the end result of a "neg" is laughter. Think of it as similar to playful teasing. If someone was insulted it was done WRONG and was not at all what Mystery refers to as a "neg".
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Re: Leonard Cohen, Etc.
[q]This Mystery is no mystery—dude had a nervous breakdown when he met the right woman, [b]had a long term relationship and got dumped by her[/b]. [/q]
Fixed your post.
To the shorties claiming it must be because Mystery is so tall, his protege Neil Strauss is arguably the second best PUA in the world and is right around 5'7.
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The explaination
Can anyone really read venusian's post and still wonder why a woman might prefer to be home with a cup of hot cocoa, a friendly animal and a good book?
It was fine when it was limited to the bars, but thanks to guys like Mystery, who claim it works on all women all the time, it's now impossible to avoid. I've been negged in bookstores and had game spit at me in foreign language study groups. Even the grocery store is considered a pick-up spot. There is literally nowhere safe except at home. Oh, and at work, too, since women are now considered "company ink".
Used to be that not wearing make-up or sexy clothes plus steering clear of nightclubs and parties could exempt a woman, but not anymore. Most men seem to think they have to run game regardless of who they're after, so most of them do. Sometimes it's funny, like when they neg me on something totally inappropriate. (Yes, guys, this is my real hair color!) Most of the time, it's annoying.
As I see it, I have three options:
1. Sleep with enough of these guys to eventually work my way to someone who is just faking it, and then hope to God he's someone I can get along with long-term. About as appealing as having every bone in both hands broken.
2. Turn into a major bitch, just to fend it all off. Also not very appealing.
3. Gain 40 lbs.
4. Become a recluse.
I think I'll take door #4.
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Oops!
That would be four options!
That's what I get for typing tired!
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On THE GAME, Mystery, and related matters
Is height important? Maybe. In THE GAME, though, the author becomes Style: a shortish guy who shaves his head. It was his “inner game” that wowed women. Not all women, either. He endured lots of losses on his way to mastery. Eventually he fell for a girl who didn’t fall for his lines.
Mystery was hospitalized several times in the book. I think he abused drugs/alcohol, too, and was into lesbian ménages. He had sundry family problems as well. I suspect his confidence was hammered growing up. His Method is probably an attempt to alleviate that pain. He attracts wounded women who he becomes codependent with. Hardly a life of confidence.
That being said, he and others show AFCs (average frustrated chumps) how to do better with women. They’re like job coaches who teach things like making/keeping eye contact, leaning forward in chairs, etc. to increase success. They don’t guarantee being hired or getting the best-fitting position. They lessen failure by telling guys to approach women who return eye contact.
Attractive women rarely take social risks…even in so-called egalitarian times. They can be depressed, introverted, broke, and STILL go out for free drinks and sex. A guy in similar circumstances knows he’s staying home alone. Socialized to bury pain he won’t tell his buds how hurt he is, either.
On the other hand, a shy guy who tries negs and gets sex now has options. If his heart gets involved, then what? In CARNAL KNOWLEDGE Jack Nicholson plays a young “ass man.” When older he has to rent hookers to feel virile. Yikes!
Confidence IS attractive. It comes from knowing how to get what you want. Good PUAs, like older brothers, instill confidence by offering tips and support to newbies. Hopefully they also teach guys to “show value” to women of value. The best ones urge clients to have satisfying lives outside “chasing tail,” to not let rejection stop attempts, etc. Like excellent salespeople, they believe in themselves, their product, and treating others with respect.
If a ‘targeted” woman looks at another man, one master whispers in her ear, “I think, he’s the one” and walks away. He knows he’ll find other women. He’s in no hurry. THAT’s confidence.
A "nice guy" deciding to be a badass might feel liberated. Or angry. Or confused. He might “get” that Mom and Dad didn’t teach him how to meet females. Or he might learn that women SAY one thing and mean another. He can get angry behind it all. Or he might forgive his parents for being products of their time. And have compassion for women who—like all people—sometimes don’t know what they want or how to get it. Hopefully he’ll seek female peers who’ve lived, learned and eschew game-playing,. He might stop chasing women who fall into bed only after falling for lines.
PUAs bed hotties. They don’t do "relationships." The former is often enough, better than being inept and lonely. It can be fun, too. Sooner or later, though, one probably has to say SOMETHING to Paris Hiltons. What, though? Seeing them without makeup, physically and psychologically vulnerable the morning after, the urge is probably huge to dump them for new air-heads. Endlessly sowed wild oats can become pornographic. That is, essentially a solitary pursuit. There’s never partnering. Such sex may be cool at 20. At 50 it’s probably sad. Good friends, a great job, and fun hobbies are necessary. But can they replace deeper connection? Only the individual knows. Sex can bring people closer or keep them apart. Plus PUAs can be played, too, “conquered” women walking when players show human frailty.
Who are the women Mystery “nails”? Are they really hot? Are they paid actresses? Does he hire females to be in clubs he “randomly” enters to wow cash-paying acolytes? What’s the mystery behind Mystery? Is he happy? Jaded,? Contemptuous of women who fall for his shtick? How will he feel at 50, pudgy and balding? I mean, how many guys REALLY want to be Ron Jeremy today?
Maybe karma exists. Maybe hotties age, lose looks, and find themselves imprisoned by the same socialized passivity they once mocked in shy adolescent boys. Maybe the arrogance they had when young, which demanded lads take all risks, comes back to bite lasses. An aged hottie who never faced rejection will have neither skills nor looks to compete with girls half her age. If she ever thought rejection did not pain men, she now knows better.
Will she continue sparing herself pain by staying in with cats and DVDs on weekends? Or she will she be bold and take risks?
Someone wrote: “The men who don't get laid are the groveling, obsequious ones who apologize for having a pee-pee.” Did they exit the womb that way, hating themselves and manhood? Who shamed them? Puritanical parents? Frustrated feminists? Ball-less bullies? Why pile on the wounded? Should we mock raped women for being skittish about sex? Such stances say more about the mockers than the objects of their scorn. Women contemptuous of less-than-confident men are mirrored by guys who loathe ambitious, “uppity” women. They both lack compassion.
Maybe we need a Hippocratic Social Oath: “First, do no harm to others, even ‘suckers’!” We should help the shy and awkward, not add to their misery. Let them borrow our courage, find faith in themselves again, seek professional help. Why not? Tables do turn. PUAs might find themselves relying on the kindness of strangers themselves one day. Will they want an avenging Venusian army of amazons kicking their buts, continuing the battle of the sexes-in-the-cities? Or will they want a lasting truce?
Women staying home with vibrators, men buying inflatable dates: not an inviting future. The time to make things better is now, in the Mystery-ous present.