One thing I do appreciate about the whole self help wave that has crashed over us in the past few decades is it's confirmation of a self problematising and then self IMPRPOVING discourse.

I grew up with parents born in the 30s, and their generation seems to me very black and white about personality, problems and destiny. eg if someone is depressed or anxious, that's just how they are. It's not even worth mentioning. And in fact feelings generally, unless they're positive ones, aren't worth mentioning. And relationships can't be worked on. And nothing can be changed. You just are how you are and things just are how they are and there you go. Better get used to it.

This attitude, while admirable in its 'just get on with it' clarity, also contains so much waste. So many misunderstandings never cleared up, so many self destructive or defeating habits never changed.

As an antidote to that way of looking at things I think it's wonderful that it's acknowledged that a lot of thigns can be improved and changed. The pendulum seems to have swung too far though - not everything can be, sometimes getting on with it is the best option - and it's obvious to all us posting here it seems that the truth lies somewhere in the middle.

- LauraBB

I want to thank Sarah-London for her post regarding her experiences as a tarot reader.

I too have been a professional tarot reader. Like Sarah, I saw my role as a reader to be one of giving people information and potential insights that they might otherwise have been blind to. I always let them know that the future is never set in stone, that even by seeing me they were still responsible for deciding what action to take with the new info. (I also warned them about the hucksters who would say things like "I see a cloud of disaster looming over you, but for $XXXX.00 I can fix it for you." Those people are slimey thieves and should be not only shunned, but prosecuted...but that's for another time) I emphasised that they should even take my readings with a grain of salt...to weigh it against what only they can know of their lives and how they work.

I eventually stopped because far too many of my clients were using me as a crutch so they wouldn't have to live their own lives themselves. I had tried restricting them to a reading every couple months or so, but that never worked. They kept coming back to me for advice on the simplest and stupidest of things (should I get a cat? who is my spirit guide? will my girlfriend cheat on me? what is my power colour?...it all got so assinine) and ignoring the bigger problems in their lives (like drugs, abusive relationships, jobs they hated that were sucking the life out of them). And they were always looking for a quick fix. I kept telling them that there were/are no quick fixes, that change, improvement and healing take time and work, and even then they would still suffer future grief/pain/anger/whatever. NOTHING stays all sunshiney forever.

I see the whole self help addiction as people using books/"teachers/gurus"/tarot readers/etc as part and parcel of a childish running away from actually living life. As many people have said here and elsewhere, life is messy. Sometimes it's great! Sometimes it sucks. Sometimes we relish whatever wonderful moment we are in and want it to last forever. Sometimes it is an effort to just open our eyes and face another day of eating food that tastes like dirt, breathing air that rasps our throats, going through the motions of another pointless day because we have to find a way to carry on despite crushing grief/fear/anger/rage/depression/whatever.

Don't get me wrong...there are many a good book out there written by reputable people that can truly help those who need an assist through a particularly troubling time. I've availed myself of a few in my time. A couple worked extremely well. Most were crap. But again, too many people expect a magic pill that will permanently wash away their pain and fear. Nothing like that exists and never will. THAT is what keeps suckering in the wounded and/or bored.

I like Suze Orman. I saw her on PBS where she extolled the virtues of the Roth IRA. She also explained how simple it was to convert a Traditional IRA into a Roth IRA. I opened one for myself and my husband.

It was a very good financial move.

Something about the idea of writing a book about your experience with the wonderful world of self help...makes me just want to throw up.

I can tell you exactly what compels me to read anything in the self help genre. I'm unhappy, I'm suffering, I want to fix it. I want to fix myself. I want to be a better person. It's no great secret why people turn to this stuff.

They want to be happy. Or they are looking for information on how to do things better. They want to make informed decisions about their health, their finances, their parenting, their relationships, how to run their households. They want answers. Maybe someone else has some information that can help them, maybe not.

Isn't a cook book a self help book? How about a book like What to Expect While You're Expecting? Is any book that gives you information and advice a self help book?

Isn't calling something a "self-help" book just a way of tossing it off, disparaging it, judging it unworthy in some way? If half of what a book has to offer might be of value to you, does that make the other half toxic and unhelpful by extension? And why do we need someone else to filter what we can directly experience for ourselves? You don't even have to invest money, just some time skimming over a book to see if it might be of use to you.

I have read some self help books that truly inspired deep shifts in the way I viewed the world. Did they make me happier? I don't know, but I'm glad that I let them into my life. I was happy to see things a different way.

I have turned to books for information on almost everything in my life, including my own depression. I read this stuff to know I am not alone. I take what I find useful from them, and disregard the rest. I don't have a Pollyanna view of the world, quite the contrary. I know there is no one book or idea out there that is going to save me. But there have been books that have helped me survive just another day.