Thought provoking article!

The classic wedding is at its heart antithetical with the modern conception of womanhood. Women were originally traded between men for financial and political reasons and the wedding dress came to symbolize that. The white dress, symbolizing the virginity of the woman, is a symbol of just how fucked up that dominance and willingness to control and barter women's lives was and still is.

And yet society still values weddings, that's why people spend MONTHS AND MONTHS planning them and why people still ultimately participate in them (that said of course any two consenting adults should be allowed to marry). But that doesn't mean we have to respect the wedding dress, the inherently unequal symbol of both wedding and the history of the patriarchy. I mean, both the bride and the groom wear wedding rings, but only the woman is forced to prove she is a chased virgin (men wearing black anyone)?

So, if a woman wants to prove/photograph/document that she rejects the unfortunate history of weddings, but still values what the wedding stands for, why the fuck wouldn't she destroy the dress? Frankly destorying the dress discourages others from spending too much money on the dress (if they are jsut going to destroy it anyway).

If I were a woman, you'd bet I would buy a non-white wedding dress and burn that mother fucker.

Whoa. Was I truly the only reader to pick up on the symbolism of a newly married woman, lying on her back, in a despoiled, stained white wedding dress, gazing up at the viewer with heavy-lidded eyes and a satisfied smirk? Or in the embrace of her equally besmirched husband gazing approvingly his eyes? Oft with the skirts lifted or rumpled up to the thigh? Or with her head thrown back in abandon and her mouth wide open (as in the illustrating photo with this article)?

Well, at least I appreciate just which stage of the wedding those photos commemorate. Hubba hubba!

Even still, mommy took the time to preserve that dress and keep it in good condition - with good reasons.

Why aren't we seeing those very same reasons today?

Because most wedding dresses are polyester and plastic, not silk and pearl. Inheriting one would be a bit like inheriting Grandma's costume jewelry.

There's also the fact that saving the dress for one's daughter is absurd in many cases. My mother is 5'2". I'm 5'7". Had she saved her dress for me, it would have had to be rebuilt from the ground up.

Most brides don't wear Vera Wang. Most of them, at least the ones I've known, have drooled over several really nice dresses, and then ended up with whatever was on sale at the bridal shop that wasn't completely ghastly. The only reason it looked smashing was the alterations.

That said, most of the pics really don't involve rage and destroyed dresses. For the most part, they seem to involve irreverence, which I think is long overdue. The dress can be dry cleaned and donated afterward, so there's no real harm done.

I'm glad there were some who actually looked at the pictures, before condemning the brides involved for their narcissism, rage, selfishness, whatever. I didn't see any rage in the pictures. For that matter, I didn't seen any dresses being destroyed - just not treated as holy relics that have to be preserved indefinitely in a pristine state. What I did see was a lot of people obviously having fun, including some very romantic pictures, that are going to bring smiles to the participants when they look at them years from now.

It's true, Salon's going downhill the more and more we're seeing these angry vapid readers who jump on any opportunity to bash each other over every little thing.

About the dress trashing - I'm with the "donaters" here - give the dress away because there will be women who want their special day and simply can't afford it the way you Cinderellas can.

Unless you feel you have to destroy the dress first, then donate what's left of it to charity.

Nobody hands down the dress to daughters these days. Who wants to wear the dress mommy wore several decades ago? It'll be so out of style that it's not funny, not to mention humiliating for the girl when her friends find out where it came from. Even still, mommy took the time to preserve that dress and keep it in good condition - with good reasons.

Why aren't we seeing those very same reasons today?

I had a traditional, big-ass wedding, and I also bought my gown used for way, way, way cheaper at a consignment shop (proceeds to charity). I had it spruced up and customized and it was 1/10 the cost of a comparable designer gown.

http://www.bridalgarden.org/

The gown went back to the shop so some other bride can enjoy it. I kept the pictures and the veil. The proceeds can go to charity again.

String her up by her ankles and let all the family, friends, co-workers, etc. who had spend money and waste time for her special day wail on her with sticks until the dress is trashed to her satisfaction. Then leave her dangling there like Mussollini while everyone goes to a bar and has a good time.

The months planning and torturing every soul around her isn't good enough anymore. Now everyone has to wittness a final, childish self-indulgant tantrum? No wonder most marriages fail.

I've been collecting antique costume (that's what we who do this tend to call antique clothing, especially very old, like 18th century) and vintage clothing for a couple of decades now. It's not expensive at all to store it properly, but many people, through the "extra care" they give their special or heirloom clothing, wind up being worse caretakers for those items than they are for their everyday stuff.

First off, jettison the plastic. No plastic bags. No plastic windows in boxes. No plastic, period. Plastic outgasses and will tend to yellow or discolor the fabric. This is especially detrimental for wedding dresses, which tend to be white (although they weren't always; wedding dresses of the 1880s and prior often were the woman's best dress, and were a variety of colors).

Next, do not put clothing in an unlined cedar chest or cedar closet (frankly, any special garment shouldn't be against bare wood, period). Why? Wood is acidic. That's why a lot of heirloom tablecloths and clothing gets pulled out of cedar chests years later with "rust" stains on them. If it's really bad, the fibers themselves will start to shatter.

Next, keep the garment away from extreme heat and extreme damp (hot damp or cold damp). Classic, hot attics are terrible places for clothing storage, especially these special heirloom pieces. Damp places will encourage mold and mildew (black "rust"). Also, don't frame your textile heirlooms and hang them over fireplaces and radiators.

Next, keep it out of the sun. The sun is a powerful bleaching entity, but it can also yellow delicate whites.

The best way to care for the heirloom wedding dress would be to either hang it or box it.

1) Hanging: Get acid-free paper (it must be acid free, otherwise you risk yellowing and staining), crunch it up and puff up the arms and a bit of the bodice. What you're trying to do here is avoid creases that will become permanent over time. It's okay to hang it, if the dress isn't terribly heavy (padded hangers wrapped in undyed muslin or acid-free tissue, please; absolutely no wooden or wire hangers). Make sure you're not stuffing it into the closet. Give it a little elbow room.

2) Boxing: Get an acid-free box (search the Web; Talas.com is a great source for acid-free materials). Stuff the dress with acid-free paper (as above). If you need to fold the dress to fit it in the box, crumple acid-free paper up and put it under the fold, so that the fold is a soft fold, and not a hard crease. Take it out every six or eight months to air (textiles need to breathe).

That's it. Not expensive. And not so hard to get the proper materials.

(As an aside, re the 1895/1935/1995 gown...padded shoulders were not the thing in 1935...the more structured shoulder, especially padding, came about 5 years later. Also, the 1995 bride is not really wearing the same dress as the previous two brides. The structure has been so dramatically altered that she's really just wearing a dress made out of "heirloom material." As a collector and student of fashion history, it is interesting to me and many like me to see how women alter their garments to fit new needs; I'd love to see the garment described. I will also note, fwiw, that altering a garment so dramatically pretty much devalues the gown for most collectors).

Respectfully --