Letters to the Editor
-
What is the point of this article?
I don't get it. News Flash: Kids can be annoying!
I feel sorry for your kids and your wife, that you seem to be completely unable to participate in the small joys of parenting this time around, and you apparently look down on your wife for doing so ("Oh silly girl, she just doesn't know").
Most dads I know who have had the experience of raising another set of children at an older age have the opposite perspective - they are older, wiser and have more patience and appreciation for these annoying yet charming moments when your boy puts a giant bug two inches from your face or begs you to look at that one tree branch that looks like a face. They realize that this is the good stuff in life, and that it's over all too soon.
Despite his statements to the contrary, I believe that he is actually not all that thrilled about being a parent again. Sure, parents get annoyed and frustrated by their children, but he sounds mostly bitter.
-
Not Again
As a parent, I don't really find this "essay" offensive -- all parents have these thoughts, no matter how old or young.
But as I reader, I'm really offended. I gave precious minutes of my life to this piece, thinking it might be interesting or at least amusing. How hard is it to see that inane blather about the wonder of children and tired grumping about the miseries of parenting are not even two sides of the same coin -- they are the same damn thing!
Also, note to 2nd Mrs. Rose: I'm a little disturbed by your husband's apparent lack of respect for you, especially when coupled with the implication that you are to take care of all the tedious details (remembering doctor's appts., playing kids games) that he is sooo over.
Is the self-deprecating ending supposed to wipe the slate clean and make me think, aww, not only is this guy an ass who publishes essays about how annoying his wife and children are, but he wants it both ways so he can act like a child too?
-
You knew what you were getting into
Mr. Rose,
I am sorry I can't buy your 'I am not into cherry spitting'... etc. You are parent of small children for the second time round - so don't blame little children for being children. I am sorry they are missing the joy of a father who joins them in their exciting discovery of the world. I hope you change your mind soon so they really do benefit from your wisdom and wit.
-
Warning: Politically Correct Parenting Police at Large
I thought the article was refreshing. Grumpy, yes, brutally honest, yes, made me laugh a bit. As a mom with two kiddies under the age of 7 years, I can identify with the second time around realization that every little burble, fart, squeal, and successful poop in the potty isn't sacred. That's a dirty little secret in the parenting world. Most of us know it, but the politically correct parenting police would shame and flame (see their letters to the editor here) us for uttering the words that Mr. Rose has published in his article.
I know many parents who present a saintly face to the world, but who are very different in private. It's as if we are supposed to live up to an absurd ideal of absolute self-sacrifice to our children to be good parents. There's a cult of parent martyrs in the US that is truly difficult to avoid.
Frankly, I enjoy my kids more when I'm honest with myself and my spouse about being bored, burned out, frustrated, tired, and in need of a stiff double shot of whiskey (after kiddies are in bed, of course). Hell, for that matter, I enjoy my kids most when I've had a full night's sleep and a shower (usually a day overdue). The ideal that parents should be riveted to their childrens' every move is unattainable, the "duty" to attend every word and deed is unrealistic.
Thanks, Mr. Rose, for saying the unsayable and refusing to bow down to the parenting nazis.
-
Gee Dan, that's rough
With the next wife (20 or 30 years younger?), insist on a puppy.
-
They say it's fun to be a grandparent....
Maybe Grandpa Grump would be a tad less grumpy if he'd just waited til the test kids had grown up. But now he's got a WHOLE lot of snot-nosed years ahead of him to look forward to. Sounds like fun. Go Big Daddy.
What a freaking baby! His poor wife. Well, hopefully gramps has a good insurance policy...
-
P.S.
Man, being a grandparent is just the greatest thing. I adore the little monsters, and they appear to like me, too, and they go home before I get entirely exhausted by them.
-
Waste of Time
This is one of the most pointless, least entertaining articles I have ever read on Salon.
-
We're hearing from the wrong party
We are missing the real story. I want to hear what Mr. Rose's FIRST WIFE thinks about all this. You know, how she feels on Father's Day, when the father of her children is off celebrating with his NEW family consisting of small children and a wife who was allegedly "in braces when Mr. Rose was diapering his first children". After all, the FIRST MRS. ROSE is probably in her late 50s -- any bets on whether she has remarried a young trophy husband and produced a second brood of children?
The answer is: obviously NO, because short of about a million bucks in infertility hocus-pocus, a 58 year old woman cannot have a second go-around at being a parent in old age. (Even the rare examples with donor eggs are not having their own biological offspring.) It's also pretty rare for a 58 year old woman, even a very attractive and wealthy one, to have a trophy husband who is half her age.
And I really want to hear from Mr. Rose's first two sons -- why aren't they even mentioned? Did he enjoy their childhood and infancy any more than the second two, or is the reason he's so blase and jaded because he "did it all" with them? And I want to hear THEIR side of this, not his. How do they feel about being replaced by two cuter, younger kids? Does it make them feel like their mom felt when she was replaced by a trophy wife just out of braces?
How does it feel to be 30+ and have siblings who are four years old? How does it feel to have siblings who are the same age (or younger) than your own offspring? How does it feel when your dad remarries a young trophy wife who is roughly YOUR AGE, and starts a new family, and basically is aping all the things YOU are doing, so that your joys and challenges and new experiences are being coopted by him?
Because he can't stand not being the center of attention? The graying and paunchy, grouchy and selfish center of attention? The 58-year old boy?
Hey, don't worry. At 58, he probably has time to ditch the second Mrs. Rose, and remarry a woman who is (this time) ONE THIRD his age, and have another even younger family. Why not? Didn't Picasso do this? Isn't nature wonderful, that men are allowed to continue to pop out kids -- ok, kids with a really high risk of autism and other defects but whatever -- to pop out kids almost until their death bed?
Doesn't that prove that ONLY WOMEN AGE, and men are eternally young? Of course it does!
So I want to hear from the real victims of this story, the discarded children and discarded wives, sacrificed on the altar of one man's selfish disregard for anyone but himself, his own amusement, his own sexual ego.
Mr. Rose, just keep telling yourself: "I'm still young! My whole life is ahead of me! Young women find me attractive, hence this means I am virile and youthful! Maybe I will never die! Me! Me! Me!"
Tick. Tick. Tick.