Letters to the Editor
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Yay, Cranky Dad!
Personally, I absolutely got the message that this guy loves his kids.
He's just a Cranky Dad, which is simply not analogous to "Crappy Dad."
Besides, these kids seem to have a Very Modern Mom, who will exclaim over their accomplishments and raise their self-esteem to an adequate level to protect them from detachment disorders and sociopathy.
Right on, Cranky Dad! Thanks for writing.
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Just how I feel...
I got that this was a humorous essay and I understand his point completely (kids often bore the hell out of me and yet are little wonders of joy). I just didn't like it the same way I'm not quite fond of Carrot Top. I know they are supposed to be funny, I just don't laugh.
Frankly, I think it was the author's fault for not being able to properly convey that he is a caring yet grumpy dad. He came across as a bitter old man who bit off more than he could chew and the humor wasn't working for me or a bunch of other people. Should I post how funny it is just because it was designed for satire?
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I'm the "trophy" wife....
My husband is 11.5 years older than I am. He just turned the big 4-0, while I have yet to crack 30. That being said, anyone who calls me a "trophy" wife has NO IDEA what my life is like. At 24, I was a married stepmother of a 12 year old girl who lives with us full time. Now, I'm the married stepmother to the same girl, now 17 herself, with a 2-year old daughter and 6-month old son of my own. This letter resonated with me not because my husband is less impressed the "second time around" but because I see the sacrifice these older dads make in doing it all again. My husband works 60-hour weeks and I stay home with the kids. If we hadn't had kids, we'd be kid-less and home free in another 6 months, with plenty of disposable income and time on our hands. Instead he has gone back to the drawing board *with* me, and for every precious moment with our kids, there is at least one that leaves him wondering 'what if?' So to all the judgemental freaks out there, look a little deeper before you spout off about younger wives and arrogant older dads because you might be surprised.
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Kids can be boring and inane?!?!
But, but but! This is EARTH SHATTERING NEWS!
They tell pointless and meandering stories about their petty and tedious days at school?! But NO!
I am helping raise a 7 year old right now. I am no parent. I have no desire to be a parent. I'm just in that house right now. And the kid is a nice well-behaved sharp little girl.
Noisy and annoying as hell sometimes. Especially with the ga-damn Hannah Montana sing-alongs.
Even as a non-parent it isn't exactly rocket science to figure out a way to tell them either "That sounds like a good story! Why don't your write about it in your journal?" or "Can you help me fix dinner right now? Why don't you set out the plates and forks! You're a great helper!"
Your complaints aren't funny. They're just indicative of how absurdly lazy you are. And this from an admittedly lazy non-parent. My goodness. Try asking the kid some questions to interrupt the tedious story and maybe teach them how to think critically about their world so they don't turn into boring meandering adults. At the very least it'll improve the quality of discourse in your house. Maybe they won't feel like they have to dumb things down for ya'.
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Whoa Nelly!
So a 50-something man on his second family is just now discovering that he's not fond of everything parental? Stories about spitting aren't cute? What a revelation for Rose!
Kind of makes me wonder if he was involved at all in the first round of kids if he's just figuring it out now. He may want to check out The Feminine Mystique for a bit more on the problems experienced by EVERY PARENT who's around long enough to hear the deadly dull stories about the fat kid's scab....
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sammo7 and droogoy:
S: Did YOUR husband write a public essay about how much these new kids bore him? Therein lies the difference. Nobody's picking on YOUR husband; they're picking on this particular jerk. (I guess some were, in fact, picking on any old guy doing it over again--I grant you that--but most of us weren't)
D: Are you seriously calling what you did with other's kids "parenting"? By definition, one's own kids bring with them the intangible burden of--whatever--but whatever it is, it is NOTHING like taking care of someone else's. It's always going to look like hell and feel like hell when it's someone else's kids. You really don't know what parenting is until you've actually done it, with your very own. (And no, I'm not saying that adoptive parents aren't real; you know what I mean).
I agree with everybody who's saying that this guy just didn't control his tone. He was aiming for something funny like Erma Bombeck and it came out harsh and icy. Perfecting the tone is a writer's job, and I stand by my initial reaction, which is that this particular essay was poorly written and wouldn't pass anybody's writing standard except that he's already a famous writer. It was a piece of fluff that he threw together in a minute, and salon readership deserves better. He's probably an OK dad in general, but an asshole for using his kids like this for an inane piece that probably brought him a couple hundred bucks at most. Now his kids had to sit through all this crap and feel weird and bad, etc., and it's not the fault of readers who expect good writing from the supposedly prestigious salon but the fault of the writer for not taking the time to insert a little affection (assuming there is some in actuality).
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If I were these kids…
I would be WAY more damaged by a cast of thousands chiming in to call my father a lazy, disninterested, unaffectionate bitter crybaby who sucks as a parent than I would be by my father's honesty.
Please, people...think of the children...