Letters to the Editor
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I automatically tune out any post that includes
"Let me remind you"
Thanks but no. I understand that Salon LW's believe they are the alpha and the omega but there is little factual substantiation of that claim. If this dad truly wanted to listen to everyone's angry ignorant hectoring bullshit, he could have stay married to harridan #1.
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Shut up and eat your paisley!
Bravo Salon! Not only did this article serve to melt the Hallmark induced treacle that is ever present near Father's (and Mater's) day, it also provided an irresistible siren to pull every hand-wringing, holier-than-thou-and-not-for-a-moment-going-to-let-you-forget-it type that lurks in the Salon community to dance their little self-righteous and totally humorless dance.
So to you folks I say...Harrumph!
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To the last two Letters below
Indeed. You guys/gals hit the nail on the head. It's absolutely insufferable at times.
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bad news dad
Hey rubber-band chewer
no one forced your 20-years-younger trophy wife to s@#$ out two more kids.
-Don't like being a dad? WEAR A CONDOM!
-Don't like watching the quality of play at little-league?
TRY COACHING, or at least hit the kid a grounder or two in the backyard
-Don't like their behavior at the doctor's office? GIVE THEM A BOOK TO READ
-aren't fascinated by their conversations? TRY TALKING TO THEM AND MAKING THEM THINK ABOUT A 'REAL' TOPIC
news flash, it doesn't take a village. It takes you to stop sucking as a parent. The rest of the villagers are tired of your whining.
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Funny Bone Check!
Sense of humor anyone? I think the guy was MAKING FUN OF HIMSELF, Folks. Maybe that didn't come across to everyone. But clearly he is a dad. He's there for his kids. How many dads are even around for any of this stuff? Mine wasn't and I still love him. This is a case of someone letting their hair down for a second, for all of us who have had a mind-turning-to-mush moment when our very adorable child wants to tell us word for word what Sponge Bob said, again! Goofy, funny, crazy, yes! My wife with our three kids thought it was hilarious. But she's funny like that. She has a sense of humor. That's why I love her.
It's too bad that this tapped into so much pain and anger for so many readers. Really too bad. This guy is going to have to change his name and move to Venus(Mars?) for touching this very raw nerve. Too bad. Let's not forget: dying is easy, comedy is hard, and being a perfect parent is next to impossible!
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I Understand
When I had my first and only son, I was dismayed that my mother-in-law was not as thrilled as me about my son and all his firsts. This was her sixth grandchild and she had seen it all before. It would take years before I would understand how she felt. Just because it was new to me didn't mean it was something to get excited about to her. I am guessing that this is how you feel on this second go round. You enjoy the great moments without needing all the detail that first parents feel compelled to share.
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Holding Two Thoughts in Your Head Simultaneously
It's amazing to me that so many otherwise intelligent Salon readers seem completely incapable of reading this article in shades other than "black" or "white". As if the only alternative to not fawning over every syllable that comes out of your kids mouths is outright resenting their very presence in your home.
I'm a much younger father than Rose (first-time father in my early 30s), but I know exactly where he's coming from. For Fathers Day I took my 2-year-old son on his first visit to the beach. Words cannot do justice to the immeasurable pleasure I felt as I watched him experience absolute pure joy chasing waves, feeling the wet sand between his toes, collecting up rocks, etc.
Another part of me kind of wished he get bored and go take a nap or something because I was freezing my ass off chasing him around in the ice-cold ocean water and really just wanted to lay out and sunbathe for a little while.
To some Salon readers this fleeting moment of selfishness proves I am a completely unfit father who should have never been allowed to breed and am dooming my kid to years of self-esteem, self-worth and abandonment issues. Please.
Though this concept apparently appears implausible to many Salon readers, it is actually entirely possible to love your kids more than life itself, to think they are the greatest thing to have ever happened to you, to wonder how you ever felt complete before they became a part of your life, yet occasionally become exasperated with them.
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Distance and perspective
It is hard to funny haha something when you don't even know what a good father feels like.
My father disappeared when I was five and was not involved in raising me at all. My stepdad was an alcoholic who abused my mom. But I found this essay very funny. Look, there's a difference between abuse and neglect and a parent kvetching about the very real tedium involved in parenting. Being a good parent does not mean being enthralled with your kids at every moment.
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Lay off the Haterade, Salon readers!
This piece really brought out the cranks (using ALL CAPS for emphasis is a big tip off).
"Disappointed" because you were looking to Salon for inspiration on Father's Day? Puh-lease!
Who gives a crap?
Misdirected hostility has been identified as a major contributor to heart disease... take a deep breath!
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Kids
I have a former boss who at 50 something is on his third wife & third set of kids. He seems to at least feign delight in them.
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Answers-whether you wan't 'em or not
cheryl asked (after berating the comments of the child-free and enlightened set):
If you were so comfortable with your decision, a) why do you obsessively read every Salon article about kids and parents,
Errrr......we - or at least I, don 't. This is the first one I ever read and responded to. Check my letters list!
and b) consistently contribute vitriolic, defensive, judgmental responses about parenting (which you know, excuse me while I spit Coke out of my nose laughing, NOTHING about)?
First of all, "vitriol" is in the eye of the beholder. What some treacle-inclined folks may call "vitriol" many of us call "candor" and frank insight. Saying the things in this child dominated society that none of the breeders seem to want to say.
Also, it isn't accurate to assume we know "NOTHING" about parenting, since many of us may have had at least the ersatz experience. I did. In the late 80s, with two older teen girls (under the American Field Service program) living with the wife and me. It was pure, unadulterated HELL!
The endles selfish pursuits, the whining the refusal of responsibility, the vapid consumption.....was all too much. Oh, and we won't go into all the dirty diapers I helped change for my brother's kid back in the early 70s.
So spit your coke up your nose all you want, but don't hand me that malarkey that we don't "know" what we're talking about.
Kids are largely self-centered pests and nuisances. Occasionally, yes, one may come along that will truly warm the cockles of the parental heart. But those are the exceptions, not the rule. Most are useless, planetary plundering parasites for whom retroactive abortions might be the best options.
Oh, and btw, any moron that truly thinks any of these parasites will be there to help out in the infirm old age - is really living in looney land. The only thing they will help with is in parting you with your assets. The faster the better.