Letters to the Editor
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Different agendas
When 50 year old guys marry women 25-30 years younger than them they come into marriage with different agendas. She wants a family and babies and he wants...well you know what he wants. She is madly in love with the babies and he has done that been there. Mostly the guys I know like that WANT desperately to stay young. Unfortunately the kids need someone to raise them who is not on a me and my youth kick.
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"And so the question arises. Am I a grouch this time around?"
Yes.
Furthermore, you whine about as much as my two year old. Happy Fathers Day.
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It's a Humorous Piece, People
Jesus, lighten the fuck up.
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Honest Dad
I'm a mama, going through it all for the first time and this is funny honest stuff. While, yes, kids are wonderful and all that, they can bore you to tears and then have you in tears laughing. What many failed to get was the honest humor in this piece. There isn't a single parent out there that hasn't felt annoyed in the same way Daniel has with his children. Anyone who says otherwise is a liar. The last line says it all--children make you young again, too.
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No, it was meant to be a humorous piece...
and failed horribly. Big difference.
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Oh C'mon, Salon!
Surely you can do better than this??!! While I'm certainly not going to threaten you with the withdrawal of my measley $17+ subscription money -- a bad day of Salon is usually better than a good day of almost any other magazine -- I will say that the bad days, or at least the bad articles, are occuring with greater frequency. I mean, I know weekends are your down-time, but I'd rather read nothing than this incredibly boring drivel. I hope you didn't actually pay this guy money for such garbage. Bad enough you let him up on stage . . . .
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Simon Says Eat Shit, OK?
Mean. Just plain mean.
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Here's to all the bitter feminist Salon types who resent men having sexual power
Eat your heart out.
Most of the snotty comments and attitude I get from my contemporaries about dating younger women comes from envy and spite. Usually they attempt to mask their anger by claiming that they are concerned about the children or the environment (just like these postings). Really what they are saying is look at me, look at me. No, I don't want to. Their time is past and they are angry about not being the center of attention anymore. Tough shit.
It truly is better the second time around, at least for some of us.
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Next Time Use A Condom, Stay Married to Your First Wife, etc.
Sorry but, as Dylan might say, I don't believe you, as in you were a hands-on Dad. You are a grump. There is so much missing from this stupid, pointless rant. I can't believe Salon wasted the space, and headlined the article.
What matters is what you didn't say. I want to know what happened to your first family, who worked and at what, what did your kids think of remarrying, whose choice was it.
P.S. If the first wife passed away, you have my apology. If not, then there is so much more to know than whining about not having enough energy for the kids you brought into this world -- a second time.
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Second families
Men who raise a family, get divorced, marry a second woman young enough to want children shouldn't complain in public.
1. A man does not have to marry a woman 20+ years his junior.
2. A second chance at a family is not available to women. So I'm deaf to the rapture and/or complaints by men about their second families.
3. No one pays much attention to the affect on the grown children of the first family. What do they think, especially when their father goes on about how much better a parent he is this time round?
Not putting your feelings out there for public consumption and comment is always an option.
Silence is golden.
Happy Father's Day to dads more committed to their children than their own feelings.
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Why Does Daddy Hate America?
That's about the only charge or bit of abuse that hasn't been hurled his way. He's been called an asshole, sexist, lazy, stupid, arrogant, narcissistic--and that's just skimming the surface.
I wrtie a comic mystery series, among other things, and I know that humor is very subjective. Despite that fact, there's a wolf pack on Salon every-ready to chase down the author of a humorous piece they don't find funny and rip his throat out.
Listen, it was a light, comic essay. Having read his serious work, and having survived being fathered to become a stepfather, I laughed. If it's not to your taste, fine, but the level of knuckle-headed invective it seems to have evoked is totally out or proportion.
I think Salon needs a separate page: group therapy for the humor-challenged. What do you think, Joan?
Meanwhile, let's all go out to Applebee's for a family brunch.
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Oh how glib
Just what we need on Father's Day. A man who failed at marriage once--and upgraded to a young wife to get in touch with his fading youth--telling us that it is ok to be disdainful of our kids and their unique way of looking at the world. Of course it is hard for adults to understand the circuituous logic and excessive banter of children; that is why they are children. It would be nice to read something on Father's Day about the joy inside the nonsensical ways of children. Indeed, there is value to the cliche that we should try to stay young at heart. It is what allows us to see our grown-up selves as entirely too efficient in the way we speak, think, and act. I am glad his children irk him, he made them as a reflection of himself.
What an ass.
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YEAH!!
What a refreshing article! My husband and I always knew we didn't want kids and this article just reinforces that feeling. After all the sickeningly sweet Father's Day articles I've seen this week, this was fun to read.
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Why have kids if you don't like the experience of raising them?
Seriously. OK, you've done your job, you've raised your first set of kids. You feel like you've done your time, and you don't want to do it again. Perfectly legitimate to feel that way - but then, why have more kids? You certainly didn't have to have any more kids. No one was standing over you with a shotgun forcing you to have kids. So why do it?
How do you think the kids feel, to have a dad who doesn't like kids and doesn't like the idea of raising kids and has zero interest in what interests them - and is willing to admit that in a Salon article that the kids will undoubtedly be able to find later? What kind of fathers do you think your young sons will grow up to be, seeing you as an example? Do you really think it's fair for a kid to grow up unloved by his father?
Kids remember such things, you see. I still remember the patience with which my father answered my questions about science when I was a child. I remember my father coming to my piano recitals, teaching me to ski, listening to my stories about what happened in school, teaching me to fight to defend myself from bullies, helping me with my homework, taking me to his workplace long before "Take Your Daughter To Work" day. And yes, he probably would have preferred the company of adults; I'm not sure that he was all that thrilled about having a kid to begin with. But once I was there, he did his best to raise me. It's called responsibility.
What will your kids remember about you?