Letters to the Editor
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About those look-alike strapless dresses...
Several posts earlier someone commented about the lack of imagination going into contemporary bridal wear. As with so many other aspects of contemporary life, it appears that everyone wants to be unique, just like everyone else!
During my prime bridal-magazine-reading days, page after page of wedding-dress advertisements presented a wide variety of styles and price ranges. True, they were all long and (mostly) white, but the necklines, sleeves, waistlines, skirts, etc. were varied enough so that it could be safely assumed that no two brides in a given year ever wore exactly the same dress!
That seemed to stop maybe 7-8 years ago. All of a sudden, every bridal salon/fashion show/magazine is presenting the same basic silhouette (minimal top, bouffant skirt) over and over again, with only slight variations in adornments.
It would appear that to get a truly "unique" look, a bride would have to make it herself, hire a dressmaker, or go to a specialized web site for what are condescendingly described as "modest" gowns.
Any opinions as to what happened and why?
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Next Big Thing in Weddings-
Three words: Wedding Thriller Dance.
Or some variation of that... google it if you don't know what I'm talking about. In fact, I'll bet it will catch on for three reasons- 1- it's something the bride and groom can do in a traditional wedding that isn't for "their families", 2- it gives the groom something to do, and 3- people will bet they can get away with spending less money if they spend more TIME on the dance.
I find it fascinating that Salon has run both the wedding article and the impotence article at the same time. It is a remarkable illustration of the different views of "success" that individuals have for themselves and societies have for individuals, and how industries create a market by creating fear of inadequecy.
Me? The hottie and I eloped after several years of living in sin, then threw a big party after that.
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She's from England, is she?
Has it ever occurred to the author that the mega-publicized weddings of Charles/Di and Andrew/Fergie may have contributed to the big-wedding mentality of the last couple of decades, as much if not more so than various Hollywood nuptials? (Make up your own irony-of-it-all jokes here,folks.)
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I hate weddings.
Planning our wedding has been one of the more stressful, unpleasant experiences of my life. From the beginning, my husband and I vacillated between eloping and having a small (read: 11 people), intimate ceremony. The idea of being the center of attention did not appeal to either of us, but we were trying to compromise by inviting our immediate family and best friends. Our only stipulation for the compromise was that the wedding be as non-dramatic and low-stress as possible.
How naive we were. The first few months weren't too bad, but as it started getting down to the wire, all the hidden "crazy" in our respective families began oozing out, en masse. As others have mentioned, we very quickly learned that weddings are truly NOT about "the bride and groom", but about putting on a show for the benefit of the community. I also realized that the wedding was an opportunity for my mother to live vicariously through me, and also "show me off". Being decidedly non-girly, this has not been a comfortable experience for me-- although people are still deferring to me as though this is "my" party, often ignoring my partner altogether.
Finally, we'd had enough. So we eloped, secretly. Found an officiant, bought a wedding sweater for me, went to the park on our anniversary and got married under a vine-laced wooden pagoda. It was short and sweet and very personal. We had the luxury of focusing on the moment, rather than feeling pressure to perform for hordes of guests. It also verified for me what I'd long suspected: that getting married is a simple act, and more importantly, it WILL NOT CHANGE YOUR RELATIONSHIP. Who you are as a couple, beforehand, will be who you are after the fact.
My husband and I will still have the ceremony for the benefit of our friends and families, but it's not something we're super excited for. As far as I'm concerned, the whole wedding industry is a consumer monstrosity designed for masochists- narcissists- and martyrs. I'll just be glad when it's over.
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Oh please, some of you sound so sanctimonious
I had the dress, the flowers, the venue, the dj, the photographer, the cake, you name it I had it. Did I enjoy it? You bet I did. Do I regret it? Absolutely not. Those of you who sniff sanctimoniously about how a backyard wedding with soy burgers and green tea is morally superior to the over the top blow out sound a little envious.
What's with the idea that people didn't have weddings a long time ago? My family wasn't wealthy and the funny thing is....there are all kinds of black and white photos of guess what? Big weddings. This article is making a mountain out of a mole hill.
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re: Anonymous, strapless bridal dresses
I put myself through school as a part-time seamstress, and have maintained an interest in wedding fashions. You're dead right, for about the last 8 years, wedding dresses have been stultifyingly boring. With the exception of very high-end couture and very low-end trailer park fantasy fashion, every gown advertised is strapless, A-line, usually matte satin. I don't know why, but it makes bridal magazines very boring to look at.
There's also a recent trend of brides who want to "look like themselves." These unfortunates don't realize that a formal dress requires formal hair and makeup for balance, unless you happen to be an extraordinarily naturally beautiful teenage model. A typical woman of marriageable age with her every day hairstyle and work makeup in a wedding dress looks like a dirty old mop wrapped in white satin.
Oh well - at least today's brides aren't wearing the fluffy extravaganzas which were popular when I was married in the 90's. I bought the only dress I could find which didn't look like cake frosting! All of the headpieces back then featured what my best friend called "bead weeds" - seed pearls threaded on fishing line, sprouting out of your head at odd angles. Better boring than horrifying, I guess.