True, the title is Tom Cruisy, at best. And oh, how I hate the terminology (all the terminology) around "mental illness".

For one thing, no other disease includes the word "illness" in its very name. We don't speak of diabetic illness, or Parkinsonian illness, or cancer illness.

If you are "ill", then how can you be well? You can't. The limitation is built right into the language.

And this is the polite, clean term: just under that are the raw, terrified terms like crazy, bonkers, loony, nuts, and so on.

Then there's "mental". In the medical world, as with the rest of the world, there are two distinct, widely separate categories: the "physical" and the "mental". The physical is bodily illness which is not the person's fault. If you end up in the hospital, you'll get flowers and cards and visits.

"Mental", however, is an abstract realm, the realm of thought and decision and will. People speak of being "driven crazy" all the time, when what they really mean is that they are under unusual stress. If you have a "mental breakdown" (a common term which is reminiscent of the failure of a piece of machinery), it's unlikely anyone will come to visit. What will they find in there? It freaks them out just to think of it.

No flowers or cards. (There are no cards for going crazy; the get well ones aren't appropriate, because the person isn't really sick.) People at work won't even talk about it, because they are embarrassed and don't know what to say.

This taps into an ancient horror of cages, chains, straightjackets and forced ECT without anasthetic. Just under the level of consciousness are memories of movies like The Snake Pit and One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Horror stories about murder and suicide live there, too. It is all about losing control and being reduced to the status of a dangerous animal.

For the most part, those conditions are gone, replaced by trials of brand new medications that haven't been properly tested. (If you get a side effect that isn't on the "list", you're told you are imagining it or it isn't the drug). Each new med is hailed as the answer to everything. (Remember the Prozac fever of the 1980s, when it appeared on the cover of Time?)

I'm not against meds, as they have allowed me to get past the worst manic episode of my life. The side effects (sweating, shaking, weight gain, runny nose, and soaking my pillow with drool so badly I have to line it with plastic, among others)are nasty, and every so often I ask myself if I really need to be on all this stuff. What is it doing for me? But if it prevents another episode, I'll put up with it.

A friend and I decided we didn't like the term "mental illness", that it was intrinsically stigmatizing and even demeaning. So he came up with "cognitive dissonance", and I thought of "disequilibrium". What if, one day, doctors and people in general realized that the brain is a bodily organ, not some abstract collection of thoughts and personal decisions? What if, having realized that, they could begin to treat brain imbalances as serious, but treatable conditions? This will only happen if people (especially doctors/psychiatrists) get past their own hidden prejudices and begin to see disequilibrium as a chronic but manageable disease, not so different from "diabetic illness".

I was in tears as I read your story. How awful for your entire family, and wonderful that thru your loving perseverence and the far-reach of the internet you have been able to receive some help.

I too have a story. At 17 my son was on his way to becoming a violent emotional train-wreck. He had been growing somewhat depressed thru-out his teen years, but I had thought(and been advised by family) to let it go, it was a phase. As time went on he retreated to his room, sleeping most of the day, listening to music at night. He said he had another person living inside him, and it was that 'ghost of himself' who would appear. His face, his voice, his stance would change and he became increasingly more angry, destroying his and others' property, punching holes in walls and doors. When his violence grew to hitting his younger brothers and pushing me up against the wall with his hands around my neck, I knew I had to do something.

He was brought to our local psych hospital, where he was diagnosed as bipolar. Treatment was started, but it has been a long road. Many, many meds have been prescribed, doses altered, combinations tried. Different therapists, one who said to let him do what he wanted and deal with it when he was calm (!!).

Finally, we found a wonderful man who patiently searched and waited until my son was ready to listen and who taught him how to conquer that voice and work to control himself. A med manager who wasn't using him as practice for every new med that come in his door, but instead prescibing only well- tested, appropriate drugs-Abilfy among them.

My son is not yet, or may he ever, be where he would like to be. However when I look in his eyes I see the boy I raised, struggling at times but not living in hell.

I am so sorry that the system let you down. Both our families were fortunate, but it should not have been so hard. The mental health 'industry' is not always at it's best, nor does not always function in the best interest of the patient. With this many horror stories out there, it's time something is done to monitor these practices.

Good luck to you.

I agree, AKA Smith. The fact that we need the internet to save our loved ones' lives is terribly sad. And the type of prejudice you experienced from your co-workers makes me see red. I saw a similar type of prejudice when working in a mental health program that hired former clients as counselors. These individuals were amazing human beings who had been through absolute hell and had insight into their clients' needs that none of the rest of us could possibly offer. Some of their co-workers had a hard time not treating them like children. It's no excuse, but I think some of us in the helping professions develop a bit of an us-and-them mentality about our clients as a psychological defense against all the sad things we see on a daily basis. But like I said, that's no excuse. I am personally thankful, to a degree, for my own more minor experience with mental illness (clinical depression) and that of my partner (bi-polar disorder, which, yes, has become a bit of a fad diagnosis lately) because it is much harder to think of my clients as entirely "other." But I keep it to myself at work, for fear of becoming someone's "them."

And Scavok, amen and amen to you.

To the fella who mentioned the effectiveness of CBT in patients with schizophrenia, if you happen to know the citation for that I'd ever so greatly appreciate it, as I have fought hard for the rather-unpopular notion that patients with serious mental illness can still benefit from therapy. A study like that would give me some real ammunition.