Letters to the Editor
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What would it take to make Brightstar65 just shut up
seriously
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Dangerous Propaganda
You know. I read all of the books mentioned and more. I am an academic feminist which means that my research was thorough. So when I was ready to have a child I found a midwife and the one hospital in my part of the world that would allow a midwife to deliver and all of my natural childbirth plans....failed...miserably, both times, with two different midwives in two different parts of the country.
The problem with the take no prisoners ideas behind this kind of propaganda is that it is just that, propaganda. After failing to have natural child birth I had 2 c-sections. And what makes me so angry is that I felt like a failure after both of my births, because according to this segment of feminism I had allowed my births to be medicalized. They do not take into consideration that some babies are not coming out any other way and that is why c-sections exist. They may be overused, but how dare anyone make dangerous comments about how damaging it is for the bonding of the mother and infant when a c-section is performed.
I had severe post-partum depression after both of my births and my unrealistic expectations of my body based on some dangerous propaganda about natural birth was at the heart of it. I still think that natural birth is wonderful, but so is a baby and I was grateful that the surgeon was on call when mine would not leave the nest.
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Well said AngelBug
My advice to pregnant women is, be flexible about your birth plan. Nothing else about raising children is amenable to rigid expectations, so get used to it.
An excellent point!
I think you should let your ex know that you'd be willing to entertain his put-down if he'll commit to using no novocaine/painkiller henceforth during his visits to the dentist.
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it's so OBVIOUS, milo45
what brightstar65 needs is...a GOOD WOMAN! now, if "65" means what i think it does, he's still in his early forties. and he makes good money with wise investments in real estate - no problem there. and he doesn't have the impediment of being TOO agreeable (which gets you nods, but NO dates). so what's the problem, girls? "Well, that's all for now", you LET THE SECRET OUT OF THE BAG! no self-respecting feminist will talk to you now. it's no more painful than dentistry without anesthetics! (i always *had* that suspicion...)
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A statistical point
Hospitals have higher infant mortality rates because that's where we take people to die. When serious problems occur during non-hospital births, that's where we take labouring mothers in the hopes of saving both mother and baby. When midwives make mistakes, that's where we take labouring mothers to try to rectify them, and so on. To a great extent, ONLY the easy and successful births end up being credited to midwives.
When my children were born, unmedicated (as opposed to "natural," because we didn't want to suggest that other mothers were behaving unnaturally and therefore failing as mothers) childbirth was very popular. It worked for some. For others, more intervention was needed to produce a positive outcome for both mother and baby. I gave birth to one child at home and one in a big regional hospital surrounded by neonatal specialists. That one, 10 weeks premature, was whisked off to the neonatal ICU for all manner of interventions. Had I been at home, 70 miles from any hospital at all (which was not where we lived when my daughter was born), he would have died, and I have no doubt that I would have wanted to die as well. My pride in having a natural home birth would have been worth nothing.
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To "-- Well, that's all for now."
Perhaps I should have also stated catty male judgment. Thanks for your dose of superior knowledge and for reaffirming my position.
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Patient, inform thyself.
"Statistics show that home birth is safer by far than a hospital birth as measured by infant mortality.
At the risk of laziness, I will simply say that there are many obvious ways that that statistic could be flawed."
I can point out one way in which this could be flawed. Most, if not all women, whose pregnancies indicate that there will be complications during the birthing process, will choose to have their children in hospitals, thereby skewing the hospital’s safety record.
I don't think hospital birth or home birth is the correct answer for everyone. I do think that placing too much emphasis on statistics is dangerous. In theory, doctors could treat patients relying only statistics, but this would fail to account for the myriad of subtle differences that are possible between people and that make one person’s penicillin cure another person’s death sentence. Point being, the ability to make an informed choice should be more important than the ultimate choice.
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does insurance cover
home births with midwives? what about doulas (whether at home or not)? If so either way, what do people end up paying out of pocket for these services?
I'm just curious because it seems like what some have already said about the privilege of giving birth at home entails. And while I don't think you can quantify a woman's piece of mind while giving birth, I did just get the paperwork from my OB/GYN to tell me that I can anticipate my insurance being billed for $11K for a vaginal delivery (with no complications) (or, god forbid, $20K for a C section). I mean, I can't imagine a midwife not being covered, but then again it wouldn't surprise me.
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thanks Ricki?
Wow, if one more celebrity/random mommy at the playground tells me that my c-section and breast feeding choices have permanently scarred me, and my relationship with my son, I may actually start to believe them.
I wonder what Ricki would have done if she had labored for 30+ hours and not dilated, and watched her child's heart rate flutter? I really wish people would mind their own business and stop trying to convince ALL women that the only choice is the one that worked for them. The hospital that I delivered in does NOT whisk babies away after they are born, I did NOT have to beg to see my child, my husband was in the room, the WHOLE 30+ hours, and in the operating/delivery room. I was awake for the whole thing, I heard him cry when he took his first breath, and saw him and held him within minutes. There were lactation consultants available, no formula samples, and all babies slept in the room with their mothers. Oh, and I had a c-section.
I'm not sure where Ricki had her first baby or did her 'research', maybe she needs to focus on educating the hospitals where she lives, and lay off the women who need to deliver there? We're already the object of scorn and judgement from all the natural mommies, who are blessed with un-tilted cervixes, enormous pain thresholds and readily flowing milk.
I really think that the women who obsess over the birth they didn't have, are a shining example of too much time, money or something. Be grateful that your child is healthy, and if you really feel your doctor pushed you into a decision about childbirth you aren't comfortable with, don't go back, educate yourself and get on with your life. And please, don't tell me about how I made the wrong decision.