Letters to the Editor
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the other side
The most common perception about childbirth these days is that birth hurts, birth is risky. OK, OK, we've got it. The reason I'm glad this film is out there is that it gives another picture of how birth can be: "godly," magic, empowering. The fact is, it's all those things.
At least one letter writer decries Lake for making it all about herself rather than the safety of the child. Not having seen the film, I don't know that that's necessarily true, but I have to ask why shouldn't the woman's experience be a factor in the choice? There are at least two people involved. I think the contention is that the pathologizing of the birth process has dehumanized it for all those involved, including the caregivers.
I had my first in the hospital -- perfectly normal, flat on my back, epidural despite my intentions not to, because, after 24 hours, I was only halfway dilated and I thought that meant another 24 hours. Half-an-hour later I got it (oddly, it only worked on my right side), and half-an-hour after that I was fully dilated and ready to push. "Push what?" I thought. I made no noise. Two hours' pushing, the doc threatening to take measures if I didn't push harder. She was born soon after that, we held her for a few minutes, they wafted her away for a bit, then I was given a horrible, harsh sponge bath. I left the hospital with the only case of athlete's foot I've had in my life.
Not horrible. But I knew it could be better. My subsequent three were all born at home, with a CNM. Each appointment with her was never less than an hour, in which we talked about pain and expectation and body image and family. All the usual medical testing was available to us, as well. Screening was careful, and monitoring during the actual births was intermittent.
With the first, I roared -- for the first time I was in a situation where I could do nothing less than all there was in me to do. It was festive and beautiful. The second experience was solitary and quiet -- what I needed was for my people to stay on the periphery, not touching me or speaking. My son was born into my husband's hands. The third time, I labored on and off through a night, with candlelight, spooned with my husband, my midwife massaging my feet. At 5 a.m., we were walking around in the garden, listening to owls. At 6:30 a.m., he was born directly into my own hands as my older three, then 4, 7 and 9, watched.
Each of the four was the single greatest moment of my life. I know that doesn't make sense grammatically -- but words are a little small. What marks my home births is that they were allowed to unfold rather than managed, which allowed me to do it better, which I think was better for both me and each child. THIS an option that so many women don't know they have, and it is possible even in a hospital setting. It's about having a voice in the event.
Having a birth story one loves to tell is an enormous blessing. Lake happens to have a rather public forum for doing so and has made full use of it (as I suppose I've done here. Oh well). Not having seen the film, I can't say whether she made the best, most responsible use of it. But I'm glad she's drawn attention to the human and potentially "godly" aspect of childbirth.
Last TMI: I had an 8-stitch episiotomy in the hospital and got sewn up too tight. Still, with number 2, there was just a 1-stitch tear. 3 and 4, not even an abrasion. It makes a hella difference in the recovery.
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There is no debate here
Sheesh...The only opinion about natural childbirth that is valid here is the experienced opinion. If you haven't chosen a natural birth, or otherwise been in the presence of natural birthing women, you really have no right to, or basis for, an opinion about natural childbirth.
All this hysterical "Those natural birth freaks want to criticize me" commentary posted by medicalized birth enthusiasts is just uninformed, defensive drivel.
Let me clue you in to a little secret:
WE(natural childbirthing goddesses) DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR UNINFORMED OPINION. We couldn't careless what your male ob/gyn thinks, either.
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duhhh
Should we return to barbers removing teeth with wrenches and strings on door handles because that doesn't involve drugs and it has always been done like that, too?
And guess what: when they're healthy teenagers, you're just going to be glad they aren't drinking and driving, not saying to yourself, 'Oh, I'm so glad I birthed them naturally!'.
Grow up and stop navel-gazing.
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Ben, you know more about Milo45 than i do
but, at any age, raising a son without a father, is INSANE. there was a game park in south africa where the adolescent males were going on rampages and killing the rhinoceroses for fun. rhinos are endangered. what was the park to do? it brought it a bull male. without bullying, he brought those adolescents quickly into line. just by his PRESENCE. it's the same with our species. (raising *girls* without males is not as bad, just horrible curses and cat fights, but no bloodshed or jail or alcoholism). this is about birth. fine. that's a woman's THING. but raising a child is for both. the attitude that men are just drones, money and sperm donors is JUST NOT TRUE. unfortunately by the time (15 years later) they are not babies, IT'S TOO LATE. he might not be the greatest, girls, but he IS necessary.
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barbers? wrenches? navel-gazing?
You clearly have no idea what you're talking about.
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Alara, why the anger?
The mainstream is clearly on your side. It's the other "side" that has to fight an uphill battle with public perception of danger and freakiness. Even the post you take issue with went on to delineate "healthy" women, although not in the same sentence. I can't imagine anyone would actually criticize someone in your situation for not going for a homebirth. In fact, I would never criticize ANYONE for not doing it. It's a free country! What I want is to get to a point where healthy women with normal pregnancies who desire to choose homebirth don't have to have it illegally or quasi-non-legally (as my sister had to in Illinois) or have their choices denigrated by a public that doesn't know the truth about the safety of it. If I had had a risky pregnancy or problem delivery, I would have been in the care of a doctor and glad to have the hospital to ensure our health and survival. C-sections absolutely save the lives of babies who would have otherwise died.
Here's the thing: there are two ways of looking at any data - individually or as a group. When one-THIRD of babies are surgically removed from their mothers' bodies, it means 20% or so of that 30-odd percent didn't have to happen. (Whether or not there is something wrong with that is the current argument.) However, that doesn't mean I can speak to any individual woman and tell her that she was in that 20% (except the one I witnessed, but that's another story). Critiquing the system is not the same as critiquing an individual situation, so please don't take it as a personal attack.