Letters to the Editor
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Sad to see so many stereotypes here
Apparently being open-minded enough to consider homebirth does not preclude a person from resorting to ridiculous stereotyping of fathers involved in the birth experience. None of the dads I know who became fathers recently (including myself) were running around frantically during the birth, fainting, nonchalant, objectifying women or fetuses or infants or vaginas, or doing anything but trying to help comfort their partners and get their children into this world safely. Maybe there's just some female bonding through negating the fathers involved in the process going on here, but that's just as stupid as any form of male bonding that goes on anywhere. Don't get me wrong ... I'm not claiming anything near the experience that a birthing mother goes through and am the first to admit that I truly don't think most men (even if we were magically physically capable of doing so) could bear children. But really, most of us are not sitcom characters.
I'd also like to remark on several comments in previous letters. 1. Homebirths (not an option we chose) don't have to take place in a tub of water, but if the thought of that skeeves you out, you really should think twice about giving birth, period. 2. Lying on your back in stirrups may make for acceptable television, but a woman's pelvis opens when in a squatting or semi-squatting position and gravity is able to help the baby drop. If you're a soon-to-be-mother, consider a birthing class for couples and/or prenatal yoga if you're interested in finding out more about optimal positions for labor. 3. Doulas (which we've had twice) are there for everyone involved, although the obvious focus is on the mother. Everyone participating in the birth clearly focuses on the mother, but since birth and labor can span days and is intense and involves (in most cases I'm guessing) multiple people, a doula can help everyone involved and can act as a sort of general contractor ... facilitator, communicator, relaxer, focuser, etc. The time it took for the birth of our children was vastly different in each case and the doula was paid the same amount both times ... but we wouldn't hesitate to engage the services of a doula again if we were to have another child.