Letters to the Editor
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Well, once you lose your column, Havrilesky...
...you can be a staff writer when Don Imus gets his new show on satellite radio. And you can probably make the call to book Mel Gibson on the show.
You wonder why I rag on you for your pretensions? Because they're obviously pretensions. If you were smarter, it would show, and you wouldn't need to expend effort to raise such a facade. Writers who are worth their salt - Peter David comes to mind - don't get elaborate to prove how smart they are. The pretenders have to.
And your defense of soul-destroying insults pretty much clinches the case against you. Imus will make perfect use of your talents; he'll have you look up elaborate synonyms for "nappy-headed ho's" in your thesaurus.
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Scary guy
I think very large men hollering threats into the phone at you is intimidating. If you're an 11 year-old who's trying to survive her parents.
The insult didn't bother me as much as his tone, I'm going to MAKE YOU GET IT...yikers. We don't know if she refused his call or was made to, or if something else happened on her end. He laid a whole lot of blame on her that may not be hers.
Heather's nostalgia for indelicate, unintimidated parenting was amusing and wonderfully written. But I still have more admiration for those parents who have mastered The Look, so they don't have to resort to slashing their kids with words.
Always struck me as a form of bullying.
Anyway, we fired Imus for an insult, so now here comes Baldwin...we going to boycott his movies?
Gawd. Have mercy on Ireland.
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wow...
(a)there's a huge difference between being firm and honest with your kids, being honest and fair about disabilities and so on, and verbal/emotional abuse that everyone is completely ignoring. having been abused can be your badge of honor if you want. more power to you. but don't force that badge on your children- learn from your experiences. your children might just break instead of standing up proudly under your rain of abuse.
(b)am i the only one who detect the *slightest* bit of sarcasm at the notion that the days of spankings and verbal abuse were the "good ol days"?
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(golf clap to tina with the one year old who is another judgmental parenting expert.)
Seriously. Sanctimonious girl-women are my favorite. Gotta love Catherine leading by example. Bronx cheers all around.
karrsic gets my vote for the only convincing 'con' writing so far.
Real goodness is hard. 'Perfect' conduct doesn't necessarily go along with kind, smart or the ability to make a point skillfully. Polite and passive aggressive too often go hand in hand.
I'm not self deprecating, nor am I a name caller, but like Tina and Catherine I do not always manage to rise above trying to make others feel small. I think they like it a little. I used to. How about the fine are of being condescending? Most of the time I can restrain myself, but where am I after I put someone in their place? Pretty low.
Overall, I think it was important to talk about Baldwin as a hothead without condemning him, but not giving him a pass. To write such a piece without reference to Imus suggests the underlying issue is (the verbal expression of) anger, not name calling. Anger is scary whether shouted or expressed through a clenched tooth smile.
I'll say it again. Great piece Heather. You made some timely observations and stimulated valuable conversation. Name calling is out(yea!), Kim looks really small(boo, so sad). This is a piece of honest and revealing cultural criticism you can be proud of, and clearly you already are. (humility is the new black) Keep on keepin' on brave writer. You are a unique voice that matters.
Yours,
Daddy's Ungrateful Little Bitch who finds Whoring Sea Donkeys (and the phrase 'Childless Whore') tiresome
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Tina, it's not your judgment that made me laugh at you, it's how well you know yourself and thus
can expect others can do.
Tina R with the one year old who knows she doesn't have a bone in her body that could let her yell at her children and so can judge that Baldwin and anybody else's behavior is just unforgivable.
I truly hope you and your one year old have wonderful yell free lives. I just doubt your ability to know yourself so well and your capability to judge other people's marriages or parenting experiences.
Yes, I wish that for just one time
You could stand inside my shoes
You'd know what a drag it is
To see you
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oh okay i get it now
she was just trying to preserve her "edge" see: http://rabbitblog.com/2007_04_01_rabbitblog_archive.html#1821653295350908700%231821653295350908700
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sniff sniff
I'm tearing up with nostalgia! My mom was the beater (specialty tool: hairbrush) and my dad was the name-caller. Together they were great parents (and I guess the marriage was good, too, since they celebrated their 50th anniversary last year).
And here's another annoying thing: where is the perspective? My four-year-old is constantly telling me that "stupid" is a bad word. I guess they told her that at preschool. I could shout, "You stupid mother fucker!" at her and she would no doubt tell me, "Stupid is a bad word!"
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My Father Completely Ignored Me
My father did not speak to me. He never bought me a present or wished me a happy birthday. This might not have been strange, had he and my mother been divorced and living apart. But my parents weren't divorced and I lived at home until I finished putting myself through the local community college.
When I moved to the big city to further my education, my father never called me. When I called home, he never answered the phone. He never asked to speak to me when I spoke to my mother on the phone.
I would have loved a little drama. Even knock-down, drag 'em out verbal fights would have been preferable to being completely ignored and walled-in by a silence as thick and immovable as a block of cement.
I wish Alec Baldwin was my father. I'd give as good as I got from him verbally. At least the guy gives a shit enough to want to speak to his child.
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A distinction
I can understand both the pros and cons of this. It seems to me a little compromise is in order - name-call the behavior, not the person.
I, for one, would have been shocked if my parents had called me "stupid" or "jerk"...however...
I see nothing wrong with something along the lines of "stop acting like an idiot" or "quit behaving like a moron." It reinforces the notion that your parents don't actually think you *are* those things, while simultaneously pointing out that you don't like it when they display those traits.
If Alec had put that little spin on his voicemail, he'd probably be in a little less trouble...