Letters to the Editor
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Amen, sister
While I do believe that words can be cutting when used injudiciously, I wholly concur that the indulgent parenting style currently in vogue must go. I'm beyond tired with going out, only to be confronted with parents whose children are behaving like free range baboons that have just discovered the fermenting fruit. The parents just sit there in a rigid cocoon, staring at the middle distance in an attempt to tune out both their ungoverned children and the disapprobation of strangers like me. And the end result is another fucked up kid, another clueless parent, and another slip down the slope of general civility.
Frankly, I'm ready to go vigilante on this. So be warned parents, the next time your child comes tearing down the aisle of the store or restaurant, careening and wailing like an ambulance stolen by a teen tanked up on hard lemonade, don't be surprised when they faceplant after encountering my outstuck foot. Because that's how society works - you get the first chance to correct your progeny, and if you don't, we will.
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Thank You!
"That seems like an important lesson for any kid, to me: If you don't want to be called an idiot, sometimes you have to stop acting like one."
And it's no surprise that the kids that belong to parents that are afraid to call their kids jerks ARE the biggest jerks.
You rule, Heather.
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Mikes Pace
Yeah, yeah, yeah... we heard you the first time you said it, and it was stupid then, too.
Get over yourself already.
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beautiful
Funniest article I've read on Salon in a long time. I remember one time getting into a shouting match with my dad about whether I was an idiot or just stupid. Not very colorful compared to "little fucker," but I look back on the exchange with certain fondness. And yes, I was being a stupid idiot. I think I had driven my car over the high school's front lawn. There is probably a difference between verbal abuse and calling a spade a spade. My parents loved me very much and treated me with great respect, which is why it was important for them to let me know when my actions made me a stupid idiot.
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Who talked
What irritates me about the whole Baldwin thing is that we have to be subjected to it at all. This is personal family business, very personal business. It has nothing to to do with me or you or anyone outside of that family (well, I suppose the lawyers too). I'd like to know who released this to the press and call her/him a few choice words.
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Nice families have always existed
No sob story here, except leaving a family that would never call names and discovering all the badly brought up people. The story is amusing but surely vastly overstates the vulgarity of previous generations. What once were normal good manners are now parodied or denounced as political correctness. I come from a family in Texas that never heard, I assume for many generations, of calling one another names. They worshipped their mothers and loved their fathers. Such doubts as they had were discussed in rational terms emphasizing assessments of character and plans for their own moral development.
I spent time around a woman from Long Island who routinely issued denunciations of her child that would have stopped time in my family and been remembered and recounted for generations. I can assure you, there was nothing about it that was close to acceptable as a model for human behavior--indeed, the denouncing mother was a stupid jerk. My mother's family had one afflicted sibling who was angry at her mother--no one had any idea what she was talking about and they still shake their head at the inexplicable.
In the 1960s, my mother went, reluctantly, to play cards with women (not her scene in any event) and never went again after they belittled their husbands in vulgar terms--good way to get out of playing cards and watching people smoke and eat cherry pie.
Let's hear it for our real social history--families with ordinary good manners steering clear of loud or violent families.
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Piggy Wiggy
Great column.
Too much PC these days. Too much form over function.
We're turning into Rome minus the cool togas. Fat, lazy, too sensitive, too entitled, too everything.
Stevoe
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Nailed it!
I, who elected not to bear children of my own -- but helped raise two pretty good stepsons by trial and error, am sick and tired of seeing parents in public outings with their little darlings doing next to nothing to CHANGE THEIR CHILD'S BEHAVIOR for fear of bruising his or her tender little ego.
My parents had only to say my full name (first and middle) in a loud voice to get me to straighten up and fly right. I was often in awe of my father's ability to string together invective in phone conversations with friends or business associates. I knew I could easily be on the receiving end of same and tried my damndest to do the right thing in order to avoid that.
Today I am strong, independent, self-reliant, thoughtful -- and generally polite and well-mannered. It just boils my blood when others put their own self-interests ahead of everyone else in the vicinity. We see this "me first" attitude everywhere: in store aisles, checkout lines, commuter traffic, at concerts and sporting events, and in our politicians, corporate executives, and people in the entertainment industries.
We all need to take personal responsibility for our own behaviors and accept responsibility for our errors in judgment; because children need first to be TAUGHT appropriate behaviors, I hold their parents responsible for the behaviors of said children until they are grownups.
Sometimes you have to raise your voice, shout a shocking word, name-call, or use the back of your hand to somebody's bottom -- just to get their attention.
Kudos to -- ガガ ガガ ガガ for the Bob Newhart clip. That's priceless!
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Are we sure it was Kim?
Isn't an 11-year-old old enough to leak her own voice mail?
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Name-Calling?
I'm an older gal (age 54), and I must say my parents never referred to me in any way derogatory. They would get angry, yell, scream and spank -- but never did they call me names. As a result, I have never called my children names! In my limited view of this issue, I can only associate name-calling with immaturity. And for those of you whose parents DID call you names, I feel only sadness.