Letters to the Editor
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oh, boy...
Even if you (and your boyfriend) turned out OK, it was *despite* the name-calling, not *because of* it. Calling your child insulting names is verbal abuse, plain and simple. Calling anyone insulting names is abusive. Some people grow up well, despite severe abuse. Others are crippled by much less. But don't kid yourself- insulting someone is a form of mistreatment. Systematically mistreating your children is a practice that they may survive, but is hardly something to brag about. Or defend.
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political correctness and junk science
We can't say anything about anyone now based on race, creed, color, religion, gender, gender identification, age, veteran status, amount of obesity, mental acuity, mental intelligence, veteran status, country of origin, regional dialect, regional affiliation, ....
We have to make sure people have a "safe environment". We cannot allow ourselves to create a "hostile environment."
And it is very important that people do not judge us, though it is perfectly fine for us to judge others, and tell them, upon pain of force (police, CPS, ...) exactly what they are doing wrong.
And where did this come from?
Sorry, but it came directly from feminism and from the junk science of psychology. And it came from lawyers and judges eager to cede common sense to a feminist/psychological agenda and industry.
We are lucky though. There is one group of people that we are allowed to make fun of, and even encouraged to make fun of. We can discriminate against them. We can seize their property and remove their rights without due process. We can sever their relationships with their family. We can take away their free speech and make sure they cannot tell people about their points of view.
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yeah
that was hilarious and awesome. i loved it and i think i'm going to love the letter reactions even more. i'm waiting for people to get really creative with their insults and start bringing in the personal sob stories. it's better than bad reality tv!
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Meanwhile, those of us who were raised by hotheads (who were, in turn, raised by wolves) scratched our heads and asked ourselves, "What's so wrong with name-calling?"
I recognized the Mad Dad who pays the bills and made my life plush, without spanking or belt beatings. I knew what was wrong with name calling and shouting, so I developed mastery of the word so subtle I could dance language around him until he blew his top. I still can.
Excellent piece by the way.
Yours,
The Good Daughter/Ungrateful Little Bitch
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Sticks and Stones
When I was growing up my parents taught me "sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me." Sometimes that is true. When people I don't respect, nimrods that is, call me a name I wear it as a badge of honor. It is proof that they are obviously know nothing dimwits. When someone I do respect calls me a name it stings. One of my dear friends once called me a "dumb old girl" and I remember to this day how that made me feel.
This line in Heather's essay really cracked me up. "Instead, all I see are the same rude, thoughtless little pigs who were always there, still reenacting scenes from "Lord of the Flies."" Children often can be rude, thoughtless little pigs and the current parenting style of just ignoring them doesn't help one bit.
Of course it is all because of feminism and psycholgy, right? Sheesh, what a nimrod.
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I completely understand Baldwin's frustration.
I completely blame Kim Basinger for this entire incident. Baldwin had a court order to call at X time. When he calls, the kid's phone is off. My mother used to pull this type of crap on my dad CONSTANTLY. And at 11, the kid is old enough to know what was going on and act accordingly. My siblings and I certainly did.
At age 11, most kids ARE "little shits." And yes, I'm guilty of informing my own son of that fact on occasion. Mainly when he's being a little shit.
Just yesterday I watched a kid, about 4 years old, raise his hand to slap his own father, while his dad mouthed harmless little platitudes. I may be a hothead with a rude mouth, but my kid treats me with respect. I'm not above grabbing his arm and getting in his face. I will not allow my son to humiliate me in public, but if he had ever dared to (and he didn't), he would've gotten a big dose of humiliation (see arm grab and angry words) himself.
I don't call him stupid or put down his intelligence, though. There's no excuse for that. My friends used to joke that they thought my first name was "dammnit" because that was all they ever heard me addressed as.My dad insulted both my and my siblings' intelligence constantly. All it did for me was to a.) make me not care one whit about his opinion, and b.)make me determined to surpass him academically, financially, and socially (which I've done. Thanks, dad!)
Unfortunately it had the opposite effect on my siblings.
But telling them they're being a little selfish shit when they're being a little selfish shit? I have no problem with that at all, and I think its sorely needed in this society of "the world revolves around my precious little pumpkin, and he can run through the restaurant screaming at the top of his lungs and slap me in the face all he wants because he's my previous pumpkin."
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Great article!
That's it. I loved it.
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Ditto. Love the article.
Good stuff, Heather.
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Careful Heather, lest *you* be called names by the PC Police.
So *this* is the horrible thing that Baldwin said to his daughter? I've been hearing talking heads yammer on about his transgression. This is it?
News flash, I can be liberal as hell and still tell my kid he's being a pig.
Not to insult the fine reputations of porcine creatures around the world.
Why do I get the feeling that if a right wing celebrity like Mel Gibson or Aaaanold said something like this, the MSM would yawn and ignore it?
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Such a cute piece
I really enjoyed it. HH is right--anger and name-calling do have a place in parenting. I've seen too many parents who absolutely refuse to get angry or show their kids the consequences of their actions. It's pretty ridiculous. On the flip side, my mother can't force herself to say anything nice at all to anyone. My siblings and I avoid her as much as possible and she lives a very lonely life. She doesn't know why and when I've tried to tell her she becomes pretty hysterical.
About Alec Baldwin tho, he really screwed up. He's the adult. In this case it wasn't about name-calling or discipline, it was about getting personal, losing control, and trying to hurt his daughter as much as she hurt him. That never works with adolescent girls.
I am the mother of 3 daughters, and at one time or another none of them wanted anything to do with me, especially at about age 13 upward. My 15-year-old now lives with her dad, but our relationship is better than ever. My oldest daughter is now 30, and we have a very good relationship. You really can't force anyone to like you or want to spend time with you if they don't. Screaming at them and calling them names is pointless and doesn't make you look good either.