I grew up with this kind of language on a daily basis. It does have lasting effect. I turned out OK, but it has taken a lot of therapy to get past it.

What upset me in hearing the tape was not him calling her a pig, it was the thinly veiled threat of physical harm, "I'm going to come out there and straighten you out." He didn't just berate her; he made her fear him. Not cool.

Also not cool to give the tape to the media. This poor girl has assholes for parents, both of them.

I really have to say, your article cracked me up and I found myself nodding my head. I'm one of those politically correct people who doesn't approve of name calling, but I remember when we were all expected to survive less than perfect parenting, and even love and respect our parents in spite of it! I don't think it really did us much harm. I'm afraid that in many places we're raising a generation of hothouse flowers, unable to believe they aren't entitled to the very best of everything all the time.

A fascinating rant, Heather. Hope you don't get too much nasty mail about it!

I'm so disappointed in you Heather. You used to be so witty, so sparkling. You used to be able so get attention just with a clever turn of phrase. I remember you glory days as Polly Esther. Back then you didn't have to crudely poke a hornets nest to get more letters, you could reach out to your audience and get them to take you hand and skip along snarky lane right with you.

This sad little troll of yours... What a pity.

Great reading. It evoked for me an image of that dad from the 'Wonder Years' TV series.

The tone of the article was irreverent yet thought provoking, and gives me hope that we are approaching a time when we start to wonder if permissive parenting is really such a good idea.

The trouble with the childhood Heather nostagically recalls, is that these kids (me included) have now grown up, and are the generation leading a backlash against their so-called emotionally impoverished upbringing. So now we find ourselves in a situation where child abuse is an ever widening circle, kids are obscene consumers and we parents feel quilty if we don't practice what research and experts reccommend. For example, do we opt for the settling routine of controlled crying, or do we worry that certain professionals are now arguing that letting children become emotionally distraught when left in their cots at bedtime causes long term damage?

And of course as with most social policy and conventions it is the more educated and affluent adults who are the ones with the time, money and inclination to implement 'child friendly and centred' parenting and who can afford the equipment, services and literature supporting this industry. Need I add that it is from this group of educated and affluent people, that arise the experts, researchers and health professionals who know the truth of the child and what must be done to nurture and protect it.

Bumbling Mother

Let us recline in our chairs, thoughtfully pull on our luxuriant beards, fire up a splif and contemplate this contretempts.

Do you really believe what Alec Baldwin said was all that bad? Why? I've listened to the voicemail several times now, and it's quite clear that he was very hurt and so, like all males, lashed out because of it. It's also clear that this was the umpteenth time his daughter had done this to him, so mixed in with the hurt was humiliation and justifiable anger at her disrepect.

But calling her a "pig" makes the whole thing wrong, right?

Please. Were all you people raised in a Buddhist temple? Try THESE on for size:

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

"You little nit-shit, if you don't put that down and get over here I'm going to whip your little ass."

Or my personal favorite, from my late and lamented grandfather, who said this whenever he caught me picking my nose, which was all the time because at seven I loved a good pick:

Hey! Robbie!! Diggin' for clams?? FOUND ANY YET?!"

The above was invariably said loud enough for everyone at the table to hear. And see.

No, "pig" is not such a terrible word. Alec Baldwin should not have to prostrate himself...unless, of course, he had said something like this:

Oh you miserable shit. You little walking fuckstick. You cunt - no, wait, you don't even have a real cunt yet so I can't call you one. You slime-ball in a sea of pus. You dog-fondling cat-fucker!

How DARE you not take my call?! Who the fuck do you think you are, Steven Fucking Spielberg?!

Well I've got some news for you, sugar no-tits. Are you ready? You sure? Here it comes....

Watch. Your. Back.

That's right. When you and I go hiking around Mulholland don't get to close to the canyon edge. Or walk to close to a deep, isolated lake in the woods. Or drive that Ferrari your fucking bitch of a mother will inevitably buy you a bit too fast. Two words: No brakes.

That's right my little pussyfart. Daddy's coming for you. And he's going to GET YOU.

Now if he had said something like that then, yes, he should have to apologize publicly. And pronto.

Come on, Heather. Verbal abuse IS verbal abuse. An 11 minute rant isn't hot-headed, it's someone out of control. This someone thought he could get away with it because who would believe that such a nice, funny guy could be an abuser? They come in all shapes and sizes and they have all sorts of good looks and talents. They always think they can say sorry and that wipes out the damage they do. Most of us can get angry and say something cruel in anger. Try ranting at someone for 11 minutes. That takes a special talent. I don't care if Alec Baldwin continues acting or not. What he does in public doesn't matter. Educate yourself about what goes on in the real world of children, women and, yes, men, who live with abusers, verbal or physical. To accept this as "normal" behavior is ridiculous. It demeans everyone exposed to it and it does real damage to real people.