Letters to the Editor
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I used to think that insulting people and yelling were the norm...
Based on my upbringing, where there was plenty of hollering and name-calling, I used to think it was "normal" to tell people they were stupid little ****s. But then I met people who don't behave that way, and, you know what? My rapier wit and snark gland are sitting there, unused, while I bask in the joy of actual collaboration rather than petty bickering.
The anger and the insults and the spankings are used to teach kids about the parents' expectations of "good" or "acceptable" behavior through shame,fear and the notion that the person in authority rules through punishment. While there is nothing wrong with a little healthy fear and/or shame, there are better, more positive patterns to use for socializing children and other people.