Letters to the Editor
-
Natural is Best
I find it odd that Americans still normalize circumcision for those who have no religious reasons whatsoever to circumcise their sons. The penis functions quite well with a sleeve -as, indeed, it was designed that way. Go figure, but I believe that the impressive design of our bodies should not be tampered with unless there's an excellent reason for doing so. My boyfriend is Welsh and uncircumcised, and although I sometimes send him back to the bathroom to wash a little more thoroughly, the sexual benefits of the foreskin are numerous. Easier oral sex, easier masturbation, easier everything. The penis head isn't meant to be exposed all the time - only when it's erect and it needs to be used sexually. Women, imagine if our clits were just hanging out there all the time, rubbed raw. There's a reason that clits have vaginas around them, that eyeballs have eyelids and eyelashes, that tongues have mouths and lips, that penises have foreskins. Tender parts of our bodies are covered up and protected by less tender parts. That makes sense. Just wanted to weigh in. For the record, I have made love with both circumcised and uncircumcised men, and I prefer my boyfriend's penis, replete with hood!
-
What?!
"We've decided that if you don't have him circumcised, he won't be our grandson."
This statement is just unbelievable. What a fucking asshole this grandfather is. He would deny his own grandson because of the circumcision issue? He's insane. Certifiable. It's that simple. I hope he gets the mental help that he needs before he can scar his grandson... I'm married to a Jewish woman - who is NOT a believer. We did get our son circumcised however. We wanted him to have that connection to his roots. I simply cannot imagine my father-in-law making such a threat. If the grandfather's threat had anything to do with the final circumcision decision, then dad and mom must have a great deal of guilt to contend with... Wow. Is dad going to tell his son someday that grandpa was going to turn his back on him if he had a foreskin?
In a larger sense, this certainly epitomizes the problem with "true believers" like grandad. He would deny his own grandson for the sake of his imaginary friend in the sky... yep, the guy is insane...
-
Dude, your wife sounds like a pain in the ass.
You should have picked up on that before you got married.
-
Anon on page 22
1) It's difficult to keep the tip of the penis clean if it's covered with foreskin, even with daily showering. At times, a coating of white smegma surrounds it. The smegma is unsightly and gives off an unpleasant odor.
Actually, it sounds like you probably just have a yeast infection, just like women get all the time (and certainly no one advises them to chop off their labia to treat it!). Have your doctor swab it to culture it, or just grab a tube of Monistat and use it for a few days.
-
Been there lost that fight
seventeen years ago, while awaiting the arrival of our son, I told my wife, who was Jewish, (I was Catholic) that I didn't want him circumsized. I made the same arguments made here; it was barbaric, it mutilated him, it was an archaic and unnecessary religious practice and most of all, if a man can't sheath his penis he is forever at the beck and call of his small head and not his big mind. To me, having a foreskin allowed men the freedom to think and act without their uncovered most sensitive part of their sex organ constantly getting in the way.
For a brief moment she agreed. Then we broached her parents.
Her father said he would disown us and we would not be recognized as Jewish even if our son were the greatest rabbinical scholar in the land. Her grandmother reminded her that she had a very large trust fund and she and her children would not see a penny of it. Then her mother grabbed a steak knife and chased me out of the dining hall. I am not making any of this up.
I stuck to my guns, but her doctor did not. After the delivery, after watching my wonderful wife fall asleep in my arms, after watching Josh be put into his acrylic crib with the lights designed to ward away jaundice I went home to feed the pets, light cigars with my friends and also get some needed sleep. The next day when I returned, Josh was not in his crib or his mother's arms, he was getting circumsized without my knowledge or consent. She couldn't estrange her family and I don't blame her. But my consideration of converting went right out the window that day. You can take that religion and shove it for all I care.
-
What to do if you ever find yourself in Mr. Pollack's position
Instead of finger-pointing, let's brainstorm for a minute. Suppose you're the expectant parent of a baby boy. And suppose people keep nagging you about the state of your child's genitalia. And suppose, for whatever reason, you're not strong enough to stand up to their pressure. How can you manage the situation so you'll do what's best for your child rather than caving to pressure?
Proposed solution: read their interest in your child's genitalia as as sick, creepy and inappropriate as possible, not to mention invasive of your child's privacy, and freak out accordingly. If they don't immediately apologize and back off, continue your freak-out. Run to your partner for protection. Turn them out of your house or flee from their house. Refuse to be alone in a room with them. They'll soon get the message that a) this is so not any of their business, and b) they won't get to see the baby if they keep it up. Then you'll have the naggers off your back and you'll be able to focus exclusively on your child's best interests.
-
Interfaith relationships
"But I expect this sort of nonsense. Especially coming from non-Jews, who don’t have a cultural stake in this issue. Who see it as a “going with the crowd” issue. Who worry about their kids sticking out in the lockeroom because their penises look different. Jews stick-out without anyone looking at our penises. We stick-out in our hearts."
I buy this - I really do. I am not Jewish and I have always respected Jews' strong feelings of collectivity about their unique and, frankly, very recent history of persecution. I think it's disrespectful for non-Jews to opine on Jewish faith as if they know what they're talking about - as you said, we have no "cultural stake" in the question.
For me, however, this begs the questions of why somebody like Pollack - who surely had clues of his parents' strong feelings about Jewish custom, if not Jewish faith - would go ahead and marry a Gentile. Sure, his wife knew *somewhat* what she was getting herself into by marrying outside of her faith, but Pollack knew his own parents better than she did. He was disingenuous with her and with himself.
This article isn't about circumcision - it's about interfaith marriage and the perils it can present. I live in NYC where there are lots of interfaith relationships. Frankly, I think it's something people here take way, way too lightly. Things that don't seem like a big deal when you're 27 (like circumcision or having a Christmas tree) may seem like a huge deal when you have your first child.
I don't think this is the case for everybody, but I must admit to relief at the fact that my husband and I are from the same exact ethnic and religious background. Logistically and culturally, it's one fewer hurdle to clear.
If Pollack and his wife think this is the last of it, think again.