This letter is associated with the following article:
Letters
Friday, December 22, 2006 12:00 AM

Sexless and loving it

Dawn Eden, author of a new memoir about chastity, gets frank about why she thinks forsaking sex has made her a better Christian, a better lover and a better friend.

Read other letters about this article

  • Friday, December 22, 2006 10:58 AM

    Chastity Is a Virtue, Just Not the Only One

    I appreciated this article, and what Ms. Eden was trying to say, namely, that promiscuity may not be emotionally productive. Someone has to say it, but unfortunately, in recent years those who did were usually labeled prudish or lunatics. Neither of these has to be the truth.

    But Chastity is not a virtue in an of itself. A person can be chaste and still mean-spirited and cruel. Chastity has to be placed in context with greater moral virtues such as kindness and love for others. Only then is it really worth anything.

    Ms. Eden, intentionally or unintentionally, leads us in the direction of thinking that chastity is necessary to have productive friendships and love relationships. In fact it is the opposite that is true. Only a person who feels truly loved can possibly succeed in being chaste. Perhaps this is why studies show that daughters who have good relationships with their fathers are more likely to delay their first sexual encounter.

    I think chasity is a valuable personal decision. But I also think it comes easier, and means more, to a person who has a strong sense of identity and self-confidence. Not having sex cannot create that, nor is it a substitute for it.

Most Active Letters Threads

532

The crazy, irrational beliefs of Muslims

Tom Friedman explains the real problem: stupid Muslims think the U.S. is about war and aggression.
431

The face of rotted Washington

Evan Bayh demands more debt-financed war - fought by others - while boasting that he's a stern "deficit hawk."
192

Bigotry wins in Switzerland

By voting to ban the construction of minarets, Switzerland apes the most extreme intolerance in the Muslim world
187

Obama's exceedingly familiar justifications for escalation

The "new" approach to Afghanistan touted by White House officials seems quite old
131

Facebook, the mean girls and me

At 34 years old, I finally feel like a popular seventh-grader. How sad is that?

View all »

Letters Help

Currently in Salon