Letters to the Editor
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Uhm and This is News How?
Maybe I'm alone in not sticking my head in the sand, but I thought it has been recognized for the past decade or so that the group with the highest rate of infection, lowest rate of recognition and worst compliance were Senior Citizens?
It was explained to me about 10 years ago by the local AIDS co-ordinator that just reading death certificates didn't show the whole epidemic in the over 50 set because so many doctors wrote down what the families wanted instead of what grandma actually died of. This same person further explained how it worked.
Thanks to the sexual revolution and birth control and WWII, the current crop of seniors are people who have had sex for recreation their entire lives and a few wrinkles, knee replacement surgeries and need to take hormones to get that lovin' feeling doesn't deter them from their pleasure.
Unfortunately, there are still way more old women than old men. So, the older women tend to. . .carefully ignore/wilfully not think about/not really mind if their hunny bunny also has another woman or two he keeps company with. They're all past the age when pregnancies are a possibility so no one thinks about contraception or protection. If this was a closed ring of relationships, it wouldn't really be an issue, but it's not, because, if even one of the older women has decided that since her main squeeze isn't faithful to HER she won't be faithful to HIM then you can get an epidemic.
And no one will say a word.
Especially not the kids, who with WASPish sincerity don't want to know about their mom having sex with dad, much less with nice Mr. Gordon down the street.
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Loved this article
What a brilliant piece. One of the best I've read at Salon in recent times. Sensitively written as well. Thank you.
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Perspective please...
Let's put all this into perspective using real numbers. From the US Census there were 36 million seniors in 2004. The mortality rate is roughly 5000 per 100000 (as of 1996) for seniors i.e. about 1.8 million passed away in 2004. The *total* number of newly diagnosed HIV cases estimated by CDC in 2004?
*734*
Apparently seniors are not only hornier but also much smarter than their children and grandchildren give them credit for. Their risk from of dying from a host of other maladies is about 1000 times higher than contracting HIV.
No - I wouldn't use a rubber either...
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Lusty and Long in the Tooth?
But what of another problem: the tragic scourge of diminished libido for those seniors who have been wildly promiscuous, and would prefer to stay that way? Greg Grogan addresses this issue in his short story, "World's Horniest Grandpa."
http://electricstorytime.blogspot.com/2006/06/worlds-horniest-grandpa.html
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PLEASE have perspective
Even if an older person is more likely to die from something other than AIDS, the burden of having AIDS with a comorbidity is not a walk in the park. Add to that, the extra burden of meds to treat an infected elderly person, and the possibility of infecting multiple people, and the smug grin of some horny elderly guy does not look so good.
For those of us who actually TREAT AIDS patients, platitudes do not replace real suffering.
MC.
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Worst. Graphic. Ever.
Image seered in brain. Must remove.
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What does this number mean?
"Tom Liberti says that when the numbers of HIV-infected seniors in Florida climbed up to 11 percent..."
11 percent of what? Does this mean 11 percent of seniors have HIV? Does this mean that 11 percent of HIV cases are seniors?
I mean, I'm guessing based on my common sense that it's the latter, but you need more than just the context of the article to guess that, which is bad bad bad. I don't usually use comments on Salon to bitch about Salon (I do love it and think it's more than worth the subscription) but I do notice sometimes that statistics are presented in incomprehensible ways like this.
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You've got to die of something
I mean by the time you're 75 your odds of dying of something be it cancer, heart disease, driving the wrong way on the highway, Thanksgiving family knife fight, whathaveyou has got to be getting up there. So if you get HIV at 75-80 what's the difference?
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Why is this suprising
I'm shocked and a bit insulted that people think there is anything strange about people of advanced age having sex lives. Wake up and smell the coffee! Sexual ability may decrease with age but the desire lasts long after our eyes and ears and bones have failed us.
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Uncomfortable and rattled ....
The subject line refers to how I thought Liz came across, not to how I felt about reading the article. I was surprised to find out she was 41 ... though that is about how old I was when I re-entered the "dating" world, fulling expecting it to suck. After all ... I was "old," or nearly so. Maybe that's how she feels now.
Other letter writers have addressed the weakness of the statistical material on which the article hangs. But even the subsidiary anecdotal patter says to me little more than "Golly, woman, you need to get out more."
To sum up the subject less naively:
1) There are a lot more singles 40 and up than there were a generation ago.
2) Fifty is the new 40. Sixty is the new 50. Seventy is the new 60.
3) STDs are probably up ... proportionally with this increase and with the increase in the general population, but even that may be a stretch. Older people are, in fact, more discriminating and do less bedhopping. I mean, it's exhausting -- not physically, but emotionally.
And, gratuitously, I'll throw this in. Sex is better when you're older. I'm only 50 and have no idea yet when I'll want to retract that statement. But there are a lot of reasons we older folk wouldn't want to be 20 again, or 30. And *that* is one of them.
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female condoms
I'm surprised, especially with the female to male ratios mentioned, that the female condom was not mentioned. If a woman wants protection and her male partner doesn't, she can use a condom herself.
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Simple solution
Everyone in the US should be tested for HIV on a regular basis, including us old folks. Those who are positive must be identified in some unmistakeable way. Maybe an implanted chip, and everyone would carry a detector. The gay community has stonewalled testing for too long, and are primarily responsible for the epidemic. My own belief is that bisexual men are the primary problem in bringing HIV to heterosexuals. I realize that homosexuality is not a choice, but it is still a disgusting way to have sex.
Luckily, even though I am in my eighth decade, my wife and I enjoy a very active sex life. Without benefit of pharmaceuticals, too. Since we avoid outside interests, we are pretty safe.