Letters to the Editor
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You read an article in the second person
You read an article in Salon written in the second person and find that it really grates on you. The article reminds you for Laura Fraser's book An Italian Affair that is also written in the second person. You hated An Italian Affair and could only make it through the first chapter before consigning it to the used book store book pile. Why, you ask yourself, do people write in the second person when they are talking about themselves, not you, the reader. As with An Italian Affair you give up on the Salon article Racing Hearts before finishing it. You wonder what the Salon editors were thinking of when they let this painful piece of writing arrive on their web server.
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Hello Bystander
Seriously the woman in this story or letter is nothing more than a bystander in her life. Not once does it mention how she contributes to anything other than her attempt to change the man who was originally exciting to her, into a man who would sit and do scrabble from the time he wakes up till the time he goes to bed. Next he wont eat red meat, or even drink alcohol. Maybe eventually she will have changed him so much, that his genetalia will have fallen off and he will become the sought after ken doll that she so eagerly persues.
This woman should have embraced this mans passion for something, and helped him with it. So he has a schedule, everyone does. I know I would have to schedule my life around my work. If work is forcing me to be overseas for a couple weeks, you are damn sure I wont be trying to plan a romantic getaway in that time frame, so why should a hobby with the same schedule structure be any different? Plus if she actually got her rear end out there and participated more, involved herself with the race/pit or even in the conversations then maybe she would have more of an interest and growing excitment. Heck, if she was to even give it a try first hand on a bike, then maybe, just maybe, she would enjoy it just as much.
As for the comments from his friends, thats how most friends are. When you have a fun and lively commradery, its natural to rib each other in one way or another. Ive said that my friends wives have them wipped too when they stop playing pool every week, just so he can help her do some gardening. He may retort that its something they both enjoy, but in no way is he going to go to her like a wounded puppy saying that bad men are calling her names. Maybe he was bringing it up in hopes that she would understand he really missed that part of his life and let him get back to it.
AND FOR ALL YOU MOTORCYCLE NAY-SAYERS!!!
In reality there are less deaths from racing motorcycles on a track, than on the regular road. The track you dont have to contend with pedestrians, motorists in cars/trucks or wildlife. The track isnt full of potholes and gravel but a smooth surface designed for the utmost safety.
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Well lets see
According to the fearful here the following men should not ever get married: Nascar racers, cops, firemen, soldiers, undercover agents, high rise steel workers, underwater welding, oil rig worker, coal miner. Oh but wait, they can get married becuase those are dangerous JOBS that provide money! So risking your life for cash or principle is acceptable but risking it for fun is not. Tell that to all the people who ride horses too, which is also a very dangerous sport, just ask Christopher Reeve, oh wait you can't, how about his wife, oh you can't cause she got cancer. Sure their children are in a lot of pain, but they got to see the man who played Superman be a real hero, they got to see a woman who stood by her marriage vows no matter how hard they became and still loved her husband. Sure it probably would have been an easier life if Chris had never rode horses.
My grandmothers husband died bicycling, hit a curb wrong, flipped and broke his neck, a freak accident. She never got on a bicycle again and I know part of her died that day, but I bet none of you would have said that he shouldn't have been riding a bike!
Life entails risk, it's all you fearful candy asses that would have hid in fear at the first sign of a wolf and is the reason so many large predatory animals are or were in danger of extinction.
Plus lets read the article correctly, her last straw was him scheduling their wedding around his races, not that she was terrified he would die or be badly injured, that was secondary to the fact that he had the gall to put his hobby before her and some of his friends are jerky.
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Why not???
Being a racer myself I found the article a bit disturbing. I dont see that the woman in this article is sacraficing anything yet she feels that the racer should give up his love of racing for her! It just seems a bit odd, one person must change. Is that what true love is? Giving up the things that make you happy so that you can make someone else happy?? Or is happiness what we find inside of ourselves? If I gave up racing for a woman that I said I loved I think I would find myself resenting her. If I gave up racing because I found a new love then I think I would be fullfilled. Just the ramblings of an old crow/goat/turkey!!!
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Another comment: passions can change
A lot of the letter writers here have expressed outrage at the author because she *made* her husband abandon his passion. But passions can change and her husband can find as much satisfaction in a new hobby as he did racing. There are many things in this world to be passionate about - and a new wife should not be the least of them.