Maybe it's okay when kids are really little, and I'm sure it's a very easy habit to get into, but unfortunately, from what I've seen, it's a very, very difficult habit to get out of and many people carry this on way too long, because they are simply not in the habit of setting proper boundaries. Remember: It's not just parents' job to be a comfort/milk machine, but to provide structure and discipline so that children can feel strong and independent as well as loved. Way to many attachment parenting parents that I've known have seemed to think it's their business to smooth over every tiny little disappointment and ease every moment for their children, and do not do enough to gently bring these young people into the human family. Of COURSE little kids enjoy sleeping in their parents' beds. Kids want all the attention they can get all the time! But they can also learn to develop a sense of pride in their independence and a respect for their parents' needs for privacy at times. Children feel very safe in a well-ordered home where they are loved but are not the household gods whose every whim is catered to at every moment. They need to learn how to grow up, not how to stay infants.

Man-

This is one of the most depressing things i have read. Perhaps HH is not the right fit to be a mama?

I certainly feel hausfrauish at times- only because i hate cleaning.And we don't have an inordinate amount of money for cleaning help, luxuries, even vacations.

The clutter now is over the top- that can drive me to madness-

However- my daughter, now 5 is a piece of cake- always has been-

My sidekick started kindgergarten this year - loves it- which is great, but unlike most mums I know, I am sad to see her go-

Kids are what their parents are-

HH is right- her kid may end up well fucked up with the attitude she exemplifies in her essay.

Maybe you should consider giving lamprey up for adoption.

He/She may find a more welcoming, balanced home where the ups and downs occur when one refits a family- has a new addition and makes necessary adjustments but they are taken in stride. Not like a life sentence.

Sure- your life will never return to what I term the "single life"- pre-kid, but what is gained is immeasurably more than what is lost in terms of quality, love and joy.

miikimama

PS Walnut [Bach] Flower Essence works for post partum depression

Check your natural foods store- I was slightly down for a bit - not terrible and my husband picked this up and within 4-5 days i was back to "normal"- a new normal, granted. Walnut is good for transitions, esp. with women.

Also get Rescue Remedy-

I had a 2 hour unmedicated birth and both my baby and I took some after the birth as it is a powerful, riveting, life changing experience.

Good for all kinds of trauma, feelings of being overwhelmed etc

Good Luck and lighten up!

...you're going to be just fine. All mothers go through this. Yes, your life will turn upside down. It will truly suck at times. You will think it'll never grow up and go away. You will think you've raised a real dullard. But there will be good times, too. Holidays. School plays. Dance recitals. Walks in the park, when it is able to navigate on its own. Lovely childhood books and clothes to pack away in a memory box. It will be not-so-bad. Until it turns 12, and we just won't go there now. Here's my advice: keep your cool. Keep your sense of huymor. Keep your friends (or make new ones), you will need a support system for a long time. Remember, you are now a mom and you must do your best. Love you, love your writing, good luck, bless you, hugs and kisses, be strong!

Just the fact that you compare your coming baby to a blood-sucking eel gives me the creeps. I have no way of knowing if your experience will be anything like mine, but I'd like to tell you about it. I had no experience with babies or children - I mean, absolutely none. I had never even held an infant in my life, and didn't even like children particularly.

When my son was born and I first laid eyes on him, I literally gasped with wonder. He was the most perfect being I had ever seen, and I was overwhelmed with the kind of love I had never known before. Taking care of him was no piece of cake: he pooped and cried and needed to be endlessly changed(he was a baby, after all),and did rob me of sleep, but all those things paled beside the sense of privilege I felt at being his mother.

Because I am bipolar and had virtually no support or help, everyone, but everyone predicted dire postpartum depression for me, and also felt I would be a lousy mom. I wasn't a perfect mom, but I was a very happy one, and both children turned out fine, with solid marriages and good careers. Eventually, all my interests and passions returned, including writing. I am now an ecstatic grandmother of three, have an agent, two novels in print, and several more in the making.

I'm not trying to show you up, just demonstrate that this can go another way, even under the most unlikely of circumstances. So PLEASE stop calling that new individual human being a lamprey! Babies pick up on the most subtle of vibes, and sooner or later, this disdain (disgust?)will be communicated. But try to remember that this baby is a brand new person, the likes of which has never been seen before. And you get to be the steward of this completely unique new life. There, do you feel better now?

This essay, I mean. Even compared to childbirth. What a load of rancid bile. If this piece were remotely funny I'd be less inclined to lash out at this hopelessly cynical wretch. I'd love to provide a few precious nuggets of advice gleaned from my first 9 months as a mother but they would be wasted on this self-indulgent, dismal troll. You're going to be somebodys mother...a role bigger then your usual self. Get your head out of your ass and try to muster a little more enthusiasm than you would for a fucking pap smear.