Letters to the Editor
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Funny!
I enjoyed this article very much - the author clearly has a great sense of humor, and I have no doubt she will make a great mother.
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Fearest Not! Thy Destiny Is Not Yet Written....
You are hilarious! When I was just a month away from giving birth, my main fear came from looking at the enormous lump that used to be my stomach and realizing that the alien within it had to exit via a long, thin passage that was just the right size for a tampon. That you are looking so far into the future bodes well, I think.
First, stop hanging around those "friends" of yours. Yes, yes, your life is about to take a dramatic change - but not necessarily for the worst. If you subscribe to the Judith Warner take on motherhood and decide to enter the rat race for the biggest, bestest, brightest birthday party, you will indeed go mad. But if you look at it as if this were a new story, a new drama unfolding before your eyes and in some way you get to art direct it or produce it or even direct it for a while, you may view the upcoming life change in a whole new way.
You will loose sleep. You will wonder how you can be awake for so many hours and get so little done. You will loose the freedom to come and go on a whim.
But you gain so much. That's what you cannot know when you're eight months pregnant for the first time. That lamprey you fear so much right now is your baby. In those first new weeks as a mother, you will spend hours staring at this new person's nose and lips and eyes and hands and fingernails. You will dream about what those little hands will accomplish in this world. You will worry about all the things that could prevent them from achieving those accomplishments.
A new person is on the way and you get to watch this baby explore, discover and learn. It's a remarkable process. Not without stress, yes. But there is far more joy than your friends are letting on.
Maybe all your fears will be realized. But just take a moment and dream of all that could be if they're not.
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Three things I had never even considered
I read you all the time, Heather, and of course like all your legions of fans I feel we are kindred whoring sea donkeys.
But that's beside the point -- and I don't have much time -- lamprey in bath.
Three things I hadn't even considered before I had a kid:
1) It's fun to be up at 4 am if you pretend you are a beat poet or some other creature of the night -- and no one will bother you if you just hold out your infant -- really, its the best excuse for a lot of things (conversation, errands, voting etc) that you never wanted to do in the first place.
2) Before I had my kid I was much more community involved and went to lots of gallery openings and theatre etc. etc. I always promised myself I would not let this way of life slip by -- I would manage somehow -- to get OUT OF THE HOUSE. What I never expected is that....I WOULD LOSE INTEREST IN MY OLD LIFE! It's only now the lamprey is 4 that I'm really getting into the swing again and ya know what -- NOTHING HAS CHANGED – same old, same old, opening, plays, culture, board meeting, fundraising, blah, blah, blah. Yikes its like the picture of Dorian Grey – but the lamprey! Now THAT is change.
3) It's really, really, really Zen to look closely at a mud puddle for a long time with someone you really love.
Must dash -- lamprey has announced he has had a "fabulous bath" and now want to "play the game" an action figure fantasy thing with many layers of family and just recently a polyandrous wedding where a female robot wed six batmen in Dracula’s castle. And DON'T get me started on the dioramas -- just don't! And to think I used to DESPISE crafts.
Anyway, enjoy yourself – and let the Wild Rumpus Start!
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please do get ahold of your Iowa Writer's Workshop self before you give birth
Heather- I'm sorry, but I do believe that hormones, or fear, have taken over your otherwise rational, talented brain. You'll have that when you are pregnant- by the way, have you had any of those strange dreams in which you have lost your baby or given the baby away? Perfectly normal, and right on course. If not, and you have spent too much of your time worrying or thinking about what you might, or should be, as a mother after your child is born, I can tell you that you are wasting your time. You have no idea what it is like to be a mother of a newborn until you have one. So, while your blathering was entertaining for those of us who already have children, I have to say that your condescending attempt at Woody Allen style humor, with a twenty-first century edge, was somewhat irritating and ridiculous- and, unfortunately, not in an Annie Hall type of perspective that might actually be charming and thought-provoking. It was especially irritating for those of us who live in the real world, though we might subscribe to the liberal ideas of this extremely liberal rag. I think that you just need to take a look at your newborn child, when you finally see their face, and realize that almost everything is out of your control and that you have to do the best you can...I can tell you that you will be surprised at your proficiency and intuitiveness and excelence as a mother and, how, you can not figure out how the fuck to get the goddam infant car seat in the car correctly. That's the way it goes, Heather, and I hope that you get over yourself, and your stupid friends comments enough to realize that babies are babies, and, you, hopefully, are an adult- who has much to learn from your new friend. Good luck, and, have fun. It probably will be the best time you ever have had in your life. -Jennie