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Seriously, if you don't have a good, dark sense of humor you will not survive. Although satire, the first several paragraphs are a scarily similar description of my experience of motherhood during the first two years. Wait until that baby comes out, and reread your great essay after six months--some will have changed from satire to accurate fact.
No matter how much it can suck, it does get easier, and all platitudes aside, it's worth it. My four year old and I were walking down the street in our neighborhood recently. One of the townhomes was having some work done on their concrete stoop, so there was yellow "caution" tape strung across the entry. My daughter paused and asked, "Are they dead?".
You can't buy entertainment like that.
