Letters to the Editor
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Mommy, do shut up.
The various posts regarding the privacy of the child in this article are spot-on.
Relatively recently, at eight months pregnant with my second child, I wrote my only sister an email updating her on the pregnancy in general and grumbling about the nuisance factor of having sore breasts/milk leakage when I hadn't even had the baby yet. As you do. When you're talking to your _sister_.
She, in what she later apologetically admitted was a spectacular lapse of judgement, forwarded the email to all and sundry, including cousins I hadn't seen in the better part of a decade. (Under the banner of "keeping everyone in the loop". Because they all _need_ to know the state of my breasts...)
I can't begin to describe how deeply, viscerally upset and betrayed I felt. I am not a prude by any stretch of the imagination, but some things are simply not for public broadcast unless everyone involved gives their consent.
I did not. Neither did the poor boy in this article.
I reserve judgement on the vast majority of maternal decisions. (Having had to eat my own words many times in the course of learning to be a mother.) Breastfeeding him until he's four? Eh, not my thing, but your call - so be it. Three things, however, infuriate me enough to declare: shame on you.
1. Smoking while pregnant;
2. Not putting a child in an appropriate car restraint/seatbelt;
3. And treating the most intimate details of your child's life as authorial cannon fodder.
I'm a professional writer too, have been for years. I have been asked several times to write articles on my babes.
Here's what I said: no.
Here's what I say now: really, Judith Woodburn, how _dare_ you?
Hope your son develops a biting habit.
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"Little Britain", BBC
You should watch the BBC comedy "Little Britain", and the character who is in his 30's and still being breastfed.
Its very funny.
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re: Breastfeeding may be natural
Yes breastfeeding is natural - when my wife got pregnant - and after she had the baby, my daughter and I would both feed at the nipple - I let the child go first, and when done, and if my wife was up to it, I fed as well. I always thought there was something wrong about this - it's not sexual for me, just relaxing - but after reading a variety of pieces like this one I'm sure I'm okay - as far as I can tell, any cut off from breast feeding is at best arbitrary and capricious - why 2 and not 3? Why 3 and not 10? Why 10 and not 37 (my age). If I can - as long as my wife lactates, i'll drink.
I'll tell you Saloners a secret: I'm trying to get my wife pregnant again. We use condoms, but I pin prick a few of them. I know this is dishonest, and I don't feel great about it, but we do plan to have other children and I want to keep the milk flowing.
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Do Commentators Read the Articles They Respond To?
She clearly states she doesn't give in to her child's every whim, that she's quite aware there are many things he wants to do that are bad for him and she will not allow. This isn't a question of the kid calling the shots, it's a unique situation based on questioning what's good for him psychologically as well as physiologically.
I agree both with the response which noted a "sly, confessional" tone (the title of the article doesn't help) and the one which suggested this is really a question of a bedtime ritual that provides safety for the child. None of this makes her a pervert. I'm really glad that people who recall being breastfed and women who breastfed their kids until about the same age wrote in to express there is no great danger to the kids. Helps put things in perspective.
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he probably wants doughnuts for every meal, too.
That doesn't mean you should give them to him.
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If the child does not stop voluntarily, see a doctor!
As the mother of six,all breast-fed, all different, all individual, all grown-up and independent, I cannot imagine holding a four year old to my breast. The child would not allow it, would be perplexed, would be too busy, would rather have a lollipop! I was perfectly willing to breastfeed indefinitely, but my children were all large, required solid food, sat at the table with us from an early age, wanted what the others were having, and did not want to lie, dangling, across my non-capacious lap. They WANTED desperately to join the grownups!
As I see it, that is the issue. This child does not seem to be following a normal developmental process, and that would concern me as a mother. This woman NEEDS another baby. That is the normal scheme of things.
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Secrets
I'm troubled by this mother telling her child to keep his nursing a secret.
Does he go to preschool knowing that he's "different" than the other kids? That he is somehow still "babyish" in his behaviors.
That can't be emotionally healthy for him.
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Too late for that, too early for this
Look - I'm happily not a mother. But I've got a four-year-old in my life I'm very close to, and he is a boy, a child, not an infant. This article is sickening in about 1,700 ways. It's wrong that this is the kind of woman who's reproducing in this world. I didn't think it was possible to vomit before breakfast, but now I know differently.
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Just Do What Feels Right For Both of You
I can't even bring myself to read the other letters you have received in response to this article because I'm certain of the (at best) scolding and (at worst) horrified responses you will be getting from readers, and I have no desire to read the ugly words about what is, actually, a very private thing between mother and child.
I just wanted to say to the writer, that this decision is between herself and her son. That extended nursing is in no way wrong, or that uncommon, and that it can be a wonderful thing that many children I know look back on as a safe, warm memory.
Just be sure that the decision is mutual - if the mother isn't feeling good about the nursing, then the child can probably feel this. And that's a good sign that it's probably time to wrap things up.