Letters to the Editor
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It's Time to Move On!
The benefits of breastfeeding are indisputable. However, they do have an expiration date. The fact that your child does not want to let go of the breast does not mean that you have to continue breastfeeding him / her. As in all issues of child rearing, you, not your child, should be the decision-maker. If your four or five year old child were still clinging to diapers, would you postpone toilet training indefinitely just because he / she refuses to use the potty? If it is you who are having trouble letting go, you should consider counseling. If neither your child, nor your personal judgment can tell you when it’s prudent to stop breastfeeding, your body should. Your breasts being dry is a clear indication that, in terms of nutrition, your body has no longer something to offer your child. Comfort can be given in many other ways. It’s time to let go. There are many different ways of bonding with your child. The two of you need to move on to other stages of development.
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Amen sister
I am still nursing my nearly 3 year old and he shows no interest in weaning. In fact, trying to drop one of the 2x daily sessions results in major trauma.
I, like the author, am also not unused to or made uncomfortable by using my authority to withhold things my son wants (recently, he started asking for coffee and beer - um, no).
But nursing is our special time. He gets comfort from it in a way that doesn't seem replicable. And taking it away from him is very traumatic - as I have experienced on the multiple times I have tried fully weaning him.
I recently came to the conclusion that the only reason to stop is because of other people's uncomfortableness with it. and that is not a good enough reason for me to make a major decision for my child.
Now, all I need to do is get my husband on board...
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For the 20th time already!
If it's okay for a 4 year old to continue to suck on a nearly dry breast, at what age should it stop?
I doubt any of you who support the writer's behavior will attempt to answer this in any earnest, meaningful way. It doesn't seem like anyone here wants to recognize that there should be some sort of limit on when this "bonding" activity is no longer appropriate.
And to Diane, who wrote that most of the world's children are breastfed and that breastfeeding is "certainly the best choice" - hmmm...that's interesting. I would guess that most of the world's children never eat fast food either. Natural, organic, whole foods are "best." What do you have to say about what to feed children when it comes to solid food? Is fast food okay? Sugary soda? Candy? American school lunches? I'm really tired of people who blather on and on about how good breastfeeding is but they have no problem feeding their kids garbage later on. It's baffling whenever someone says breast is "best" because it seems that's where it stops. Once the kid is on to solid food here comes the Kraft macaroni and cheese and MacDonald's drive-thru because it's so fast, cheap and convenient!
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I am still nursing my nearly 3 year old and he shows no interest in weaning. In fact, trying to drop one of the 2x daily sessions results in major trauma.
That's no reason to let him get his way.
Kid throw major tantrums when asked to brush their teeth, go to bed, stop throwing food, eat vegetable, respect their family, etc. etc.etc.! What a kids WANTS and will throw a tantrum for is not what is best for him!
parents who rule based on what the kids screams for will raise a selfish sociopath.
Raising a kid involves doing what is right and best for him in the long run, not what he wants or throws a tantrum for. Geeze, can you imagine?
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I'm a little confused.
Why are so many of us arguing over how long to nurse a baby? This is not a nursing issue. To "nurse" a baby is to provide its nutrition and sustenance at the breast. Allowing a 4-year-old child to suckle for "comfort" long after your milk is gone is no longer considered "nursing."
This is the (extreme) equivalent of a child sucking its thumb, which also needs to be dealt with before kindergarten. But seriously, the author of this piece is no more "nursing" her child at this point than she would be nursing her husband if he did the same thing. No milk=not nursing=STOP. (The child, not the husband...)
There are certain things that 9 out of 10 people would agree need to be stopped well before a child (not including "special needs" children, of course) reaches school age--thumbsucking, diaper-wearing, using a high-chair, talking baby-talk, using a bottle or binky, eating baby-food, relying on a woobie etc.--and at the top of that list, I'm afraid, is sucking on mommy's nipples. It's really long past time to let go of this particular habit.
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Logic and diets
"I'm really tired of people who blather on and on about how good breastfeeding is but they have no problem feeding their kids garbage later on. It's baffling whenever someone says breast is "best" because it seems that's where it stops. Once the kid is on to solid food here comes the Kraft macaroni and cheese and MacDonald's drive-thru because it's so fast, cheap and convenient!"
A little off-topic here, but the above quote is a fine example of a logical fallacy. By the author's (il)logic, diets must be completely pure, say broccoli and tofu only, or complete garbage, and nothing in between is allowed. By that way of thinking, someone who occasionally eats donuts may not also make special efforts to eat fresh salads.
But in reality, if breastmilk or broccoli or tofu or wild salmon or fresh fruit or any other wholesome fare is good to include in the diet, that should be encouraged, no matter what else is in the diet. In fact, taking care to include healthful components in a diet is even more important if the rest of the diet is not so good. It's much better for kids to have a diet of breastmilk and mac and cheese than a diet of cola and mac and cheese, for example.
And no matter what a child winds up eating later in life, it's generally much more healthful for that child to have started off life with breastmilk than not. The nutritional qualities of food at MacDonald's or mac and cheese (and by the way, mac and cheese has many good nutritional qualities, and there are even some healthful choices that can be made at the MacDonald's drive-through) is completely irrelevant to any decision about breastfeeding.
The person who wrote the cited quote can take comfort in knowing that it's better to have a diet, either measured daily or over a lifetime, that is at least partially healthful than one that is not healthful at all. And most of us, in reality, balance our diets between the healthful staples and the not-so-healthful treats. Maintaining a good diet is not an all-or-nothing proposition. That should ease the angst over what the writer believes are offensive inconsistencies.
-- A student of philosophy and nutrition