Letters to the Editor
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question?
why is it that women go through this extended breast feeding with sons more often than daughters? nearly all articles about how "natural" it is to allow children to breast feed until well after they're capable of eating and drinking something other than the mother are written by women with sons. Are you just worried about not giving a man what he wants? but, I digress...I am not a breast feeding foe, on the contrary, I believe it's perfectly right and natural or else the milk wouldn't be there. But, once the milk isn't there isn't something kinda creepy? aren't there other ways to express your love that don't involve suckling? dr spock said not to force toilet training and parents have rationalized filling our land fills with disposables under the pretense of being a loving parent. I think that showing a little discipline and nurturing your five year old without lifting your shirt are a couple of them.
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My Son Still Wets The Bed
Two page confessional article for Salon soon to come!
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correcting some misconceptions
"They enjoy the sensation of having their nipples sucked frequently and they delude themselves into believing that it is normal and natural for their child to be doing it well past babyhood"
Oh, so now certain Salon readers can also read minds? These all-knowing Salon readers know others' inner motivations and physical sensations? Pu-leeeese.
In addition, the assertion that women who are nursing toddlers and preschools are "dry" is utterly (udderly?) false. Milk production can continue for many years, well beyond menopause. In the old days of wet nurses, many of the wet nurses worked well into their elder years.
Mothers who nurse for extended periods do most certainly produce milk, and have all the related physical demands of milk production. Example: They still need extra calcium. Nursing mothers -- even those nursing toddlers and preschoolers! -- are prescribed prenatal vitamins. Another example: OB-GYNs do not prescribe mammograms for nursing mothers, no matter how old their children are, because full or partially full milk ducts make it nearly impossible to get useful readings. Another example: Mothers who are nursing toddlers or preschoolers often have to stop doing so when they become pregnant because of the demands that milk production places on the body. (In fact, it's pregnancy that often prompts weaning, because pregnant women sometimes have to ration out their energy and calcium.)
I would urge certain Salon readers to do a little medical research before making unsound assertions and judgments.
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As I began to read the comments I had a feeling that it would only be a matter of time before the true ideology and reasoning of the fema-phobes, would finally rear its head here.
And boy was I correct, after reading a few of the replys. (one or two in particular) I'm talking of course about neo-(or third wave) feminism in many but not all of its variations, and some second wave forms as well. I can't be the only person who sees the strong aversions to and disdain for just about anything and everything (biologically) "female." Which also extends to anything perceived to be even remotely "feminine" or "motherly."
Make no mistake, the somewhat pervasive anti-male attitudes of the past. While still permeating our society. Has largely been replaced (or in some cases accompanied) by this new femaphobic (misogynistic) ideology.
We have a generation of young people who are deeply mortified, sickened and yes even terrified at the idea of something as simple and natural as breastfeeding or procreation and giving birth.
(NOTE: I'm not talking about people who don't want to have kids for good reason, or who work a lot etc.)
The term "pro-women, anti-female" is an almost perfect explanation of it. It should really be called womenism instead of feminism.
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Sorry, I know this was kind of a rant and a little off topic but I just had to get it off my chest.
I'd also like to add that I am in no way anti-female/women/feminism. I strongly agree with a lot of the goals of true feminism.
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another marginalized father in all this
It's interesting to me that no one seems to notice how marginalized this breast feeding and night time ritual has made the kid's father in all this. Remember him? The "other parent"? The one who's left out of this triangle?
Motherhood is so often held up as such this sacred thing that only the woman-who-gave-birth can perform, when really, a lot of people just WISH this is what motherhood is. Any compassionate, committed adult can raise a child.
This woman is teaching her kid that she -- and only she -- can fulfill his needs.
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nursing children
The Sioux, among other tribes, routinely nursed children on and off for six years.
This only got complicated when Euro males became the arbitors of what is right.
Trust yourself. Trust your child.
A Euro/american Grandma
Anna
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wow, look at all the angry people!
I've just read through a handful of the red-starred letters. I'm astonished at how many people think the mother is a sick twisted moral leper whose child ought to be apprehended before she completely destroys him.
You know, the NORMAL age to wean a child, in every culture except the developed world, is around 4. Sometimes a little later, but usually it's around the age of 4. And those kids don't grow up to be pathetic miserable oedipal wrecks. They grow up to be, you know, normal.
I nursed my daughter till she was 2 and my son was born, and occasionally ,maybe every week or so, for a couple of months after (she wanted to be sure her place hadn't been entirely usurped. Once she was reassured on that point, she lost interest.)
I nursed my son till he was around 4 1/2, when he lost interest in turn. We talked about it from time to time in the last year; I kept bringing up the idea that he might like to quit pretty soon now, and eventually he agreed. The last year it was briefly, once a day, or every couple of days, in the evening, as the author describes, when he happened to think of it. He's a cheerful, independent little guy. I really doubt he's scarred for life.
As for that poor woman who WAS scarred for life because her junior high and high school buddies happened to be evil sadistic freaks - I don't really think that this is her mother's fault.
I think that what's being reflected here is the consequence of the lack of mandatory maternity leave legislation in the U.S. It's almost impossible for most American women to nurse their children for long if they're going to go back to work, which most of them have to do; so they have to tell themselves that really, it's a good thing to wean their children early. But those of us who live in the large part of the world with more enlightened legislation know better. I hope Americans start treating mothers, and their children, better soon.