Letters to the Editor
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Incest Is WRONG
That's right, I called it incest. If it's not for nutrition, and it's doesn't do anything not already covered by the basic cuddling/loving that create and maintain family bonds, then it's incest. There's no other explanation left, and that's sick.
Really people, to all of you arm-chair anthrolopologists out there this ain't the 3rd world (and anyway, any anthro major worth their salt can find you an example of a tribe somewhere doing something to support just about any opinion, despite the fact that comparing across cultures is a dangerous apples and oranges deal), and to all you arm-chair sociologists (and why oh why would one want to be a sociologist?) no excuse of societal conditioning can change the fact that you're replacing a nutritional exercise with a form of physical intimacy that is more appropriate to adults.
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Giving a toddler what he wants
Aside from the breastfeeding debate and just to take this as a bedtime ritual, I find it interesting that there is such a cultural insistence on breaking the child of soothing habits. I wonder if adults would like to give up all their own comfort foods and daily rituals just because it's "bad" to have them.
I think a lot of this comes from a view of children as inherently sinful and that makes me sad, 'cause I don't believe it. (I don't believe they're little angels either.)
Toddlers do need to learn independence and discipline, but that doesn't mean that all their comforts have to be removed. So the author's let hers keep a night time nurse. I find it just crazy that we still live in a world where it's assumed that is sick or is going to create a spoiled brat.
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Here we go again
It seems like this "article" was published purely to arouse emotions. I'm completely pro-nursing for however long a mom/kid wants, but I'm bored with reading these sort of mommy angsty stories in Salon. We've heard it all before.
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Extended Breastfeeding
As a mother of a 3 year old who continues to comfort nurse for a few moments each morning and evening, I must admit I am astounded by some of the responses to this article: creepy, disgusting, wrong, sick, gross.
There is nothing wrong with what Ms. Woodburn is doing. I certainly hope some of the letter writers here will use this article to start thinking about their own cultural biases about what is clearly the norm in most parts of the world.
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Oh come on, the rest of the world does it...
I nursed my daughter until she was almost 4 (once a day for a few minutes, like the author). She quit when she was no longer interested, plain and simple - and that was fine. The fact that the rest of the world does it and we just see it as "icky" says something about us. What a shame that this has to be defended. Is it the norm? No, but it's not that weird either. And hey, the boobs still work for a reason! Get off your high horses and realize that just because we in the western world do something a certain way doesn't make it right. We seem to be all about efficiency and getting back to work and getting the child out on his/her own. Maybe that's not what we should focus on. Kudos to the author for admitting she still breastfeeds. He'll probably stop soon of his own accord and then on to the next phase of life - with a great immune system and a secure sense of self.
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I mean if you really want to continue....
Name ONE.
Just one controlled study that really follows up on a group of human beings from infancy through childhood through adolescence on to adulthood that *proves* that those who were breastfed thrived better than those who were not-- and which *also* takes into account all other possible factors that can impact on the research and proves substantially that breastfeeding is the only important factor.
Scientific research on biological problems works best when researchers can observe two groups of essentially identical individuals who are living in an essentially identical situation and are treated in the same way except for one factor. One group (the "test group") is given an experimental treatment—a new medication, say—and the other group (the "control group") is not. In other words, we hold everything constant except for a single variable (or sometimes a small number of variables) that's different for the two groups, and then we see how the difference plays out.
In the studies that have been done to date, untangling the observed effects is a nearly impossible exercise in subjective judgment.
Subjective. Which does not mean worthless, as I said before. Unfortunately people want extremes and absolutes, we like polarities, and this is what sells books. So there you have it.
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Come on, People
I was pumping, about to go teach a class, as I read Woodburn's article. The article did not shock me in the least, nor did it appall me or make me worried about her son. The letters, however, were frequently absurd.
It's the generalizations about breastfeeding that cause all this disagreement. In case you hadn't noticed, children are not all the same. Some might want to stop breastfeeding at 6 months. Some might want to stop breastfeeding at age 5. For anyone to judge Woodburn, or any mother who chooses to breastfeed beyond what this absurdly Puritanical culture mandates, is ignoring the wonderful diversity of children and babies and acknowledging that good parenting depends on the temperament and personality of the child and the parents.
What's damaging and bad for a child is having parents that abuse and neglect. This strikes me as far more problematic than a child who is nursing for 30 seconds a day at age 4. Perhaps our anger should be diverted to issues that are truly problematic. It's more fun and more righteous and feels much better, however, to castigate mothers who work their asses off to care for their children physcically, emotionally, and spiritually and support them financially at the same time. Why this is true is perhaps a good topic for another article altogether.
Anna Blackmon Moore
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A Conscious Memory of "Breastfeeding"
I am 8 weeks pregnant with my first child, so I'm finding this article and discussion very interesting. I have a conscious memory of "breastfeeding" (i.e. sucking at my mother's breast for comfort) at around age 4. I remember it vividly because even when I asked for it I KNEW it was wrong and there was no milk and I didn't need it, so I felt very guilty and, yes -- dirty. To this day, the memory makes me want to tear my hair out. My mother should NEVER have given in to my wish or demand. She should have said no. I'm sorry, you great Salon red star givers, but the reason there are so many negative letters is because --this just isn't right. At the same time, I was disturbed by the woman who says she stopped breastfeeding early so she could go back to her vices of "coffee and red wine." Oh, C'MON! I could understand "cigarettes and crack" but women have been drinking beer to stimulate milk production for CENTURIES, and -- how on earth could a cup of coffee be dangerous to nursing babies? That's just ridiculous. For Christssake, women who've just had c-sections are given a MORPHINE IV -- and they still are encouraged to breast-feed! Think about it.