Letters to the Editor
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How long will it go on? 5 6 7 8?
I don't think there is any precedent in nature for mammal offspring to stop nursing voluntarily. The mother always has to cut them off, so I'm curious how far some human mothers intend to go with this.
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SICK!!
Lady you are sick. Stop this perverted behavior NOW.
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Take care of his teeth
The thing that alarmed me about this article was the throwaway mention of how the author brushes her son's teeth before nursing him. This is terrible for his teeth. I know a girl who nursed till 3 or 4 who had a bunch of cavities and actually had to have a tooth pulled because of it. Please brush his teeth after nursing!
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Oh, for God's sake
I don't care about the issue of sexuality here. What bothers me is the, "... but it's what he wants" part. Do you give a 4-year-old everything he or she wants? This is pretty damn scary. Our world is turning into a bunch of kids in adult clothing sucking off anyone who gives them what they want because parents like you never taught them the word "no!" and how to grow up!
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Is anyone else as disturbed by this as I am?
I found this essay to be very creepy.
I don't have children myself but many friends who do and I've heard the if/when/how long debates on breast-feeding. I consider myself an open-minded feminist. But this:
".....I had carefully weighed the nutritional benefits of breast-feeding, but I hadn't considered this: a benefit as simple and powerful as a happy memory."
This is the line that freaks me out the most in this entire essay. In fact, the whole time I was reading, I was thinking that the main problem with breast feeding so long, as I see it, is that the child will remember it.
Personally I have plenty of happy memories of my mother but I am grateful that I don't have any memory of myself breastfeeding.
I understand this is normal in many cultures. However, we (or most of us who read Salon, I assume) live in western and American cultures. Like it or not, breast are very sexualized here. And personally I just don't want strong memories of my mother mixed up in my sex life.
And I think it's a little weird that the author wants her son to remember being breastfed. What's wrong with memories of baking cookies or going to the zoo?
I really am trying to be open-minded here. I'd love to hear from anyone who remembers being breastfed and hear what they think.
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Hey, if it's what he wants, no reason to stop at 4
If the only criteria is that he calls the shots, then there's no reason he can't breastfeed well into adulthood. It's your kid, so I guess that's fine.
And we wonder why we have a nation of spoiled kids.
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...
what is wrong with you people? didn't you read the article?
there's not a question posed by any of you so far that isn't answered in the body of the essay.
and there aren't any objections posted so far that are any more than the product of societal conditioning.
i expected better from salon readers.
oh well...
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WHAT?!?
A happy memory? Is Judith Woodburn serious? The problem here is not the breastfeeding. What Ms. Woodburn is describing here is simply bad parenting.
Let's say a child cries bloody murder whenever he is told he cannot simply run into the street without holding his parent's hand. Every single time, he runs, is not not to, and responds with screaming and kicking and hitting. How should one react, as a parent? If Ms. Woodburn is to be believed, you allow the child to play in traffic, because you wouldn't want to cause any "unhappy memories" by denying the child's every wish. Children want all kinds of unhealthy things: candy for dinner, annoying cartoons all day, expensive toys they'll play with once and discard. Any parent who allows him or herself to get browbeaten into giving in to a child's selfish impulses is malpracticing the art of childrearing.
It's not like Ms. Woodburn's child CAN'T sleep without nursing, since he couldn't have remained awake for the entirety of her business trips. He only needs it when she's around, and only then because it's a measure of control. What happens when he's sixteen and wants the family car before he's responsible enough to drive it? He'll cry and scream until his mother gives in, because that seems to have worked for as long as (and even before) he can remember. No one does their child any favors by being a weak parent who folds under pressure. This poor child will grow up a selfish, controlling, demanding boor. (And if he actually does remember suckling his mother? My bank account only wishes I were his future therapist.)
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nothing here is sick or wrong
Please, people. Give this mom a break. Nothing about what she is doing is sick or wrong. She is a good mother who loves her son. However, I do think she needs to wean him, like yesterday. I had similar issues with both of my kids, both of whom were breastfed for one year. I decided to wean then because I wanted to go back to my vices (coffee and wine) and reclaim my body. Both weaned easily. We did have other "sucking" issues, however. My son used a pacifier to go to sleep until he was three. My daughter used a bottle of milk to go to sleep until she was three, as well. In the case of my son, his dentist noticed that his teeth were growing outward, and she told him, sternly, that there would be no more pacifier. He complied, and that was the end of that. I was surprised at how easily my willful boy changed his way. Next, my daughter. The dentist told her she needed to give up the bottle. Same deal. She gave it up that day (she'd had, up til this point, a three bottle a night habit that was driving us crazy). I'd advise this mom to have either the boy's pediatrician or his dentist give him a firm talking-to, thereby taking her out of the equation. She might be surprised at how easily he gives up the breast.