This article could've been poignant.

But the author's never once expressing any curiosity about the why the longtime friend dropped her -- nor taking any steps to look into the reason -- is perplexing. For me removes most of the appeal from the article.

I also have little idea of why the bra-removal incident at the old friend's wedding was even mentioned. If it had anything to do with the reason for her being dropped, I missed the connection.

With everything you said. This reads like the transcript of a therapy session, all "me, me, me" with no deeper insights or even, apparently, curiosity about the lives and emotions of others.

And I don't get the bra reference either, except that it fits in well with the self-absorbed tone. I'm sorry the author went through what she did but I'm left cold.

Something about this article doesn't ring true to me.

I agree that grief can really do strange things to your head and as a best friend in that situation the appropriate thing is obviously to go with what the grieving person wants - even if it's not to see you, and to forgive them for it.

But that's not what this person did.

She hung out for DAYS and WEEKS, was it even more than a month? - when she obviously wasn't wanted. Why? Why not go home after a day or two, write a note saying 'thinking of you, call whenever you want' and get on with your own life? That's the best thing for everyone. What's the point of adding her own, minor, 'I don't know what to do here in Boston' crisis on top of the real crisis that was going on for her friend? It seems supremely self indulgent and narcissistic - particularly the permission she gave herself to be a bad guest at that other house. I can't stand people who decide to join you in your troubles by creating some troubles of their own.

The clues to a different truth about why that friendship ended are everywhere in this story - the bra, the drinking, the being asked to leave that other house in Boston - something is awry here. Those stories are bizarre and point to a different reality that the author isn't coming clean about.

Convenient as it may be to put the end of this friendship down to september 11, I don't think this one is actually the terrorists fault.

Ms. Aaron's description of the disintegration of her friendship seemed very one-sided, although there were a couple of details that hinted at what she might have left out. To read her account, her friend's behavior in the immediate aftermath of 9/11 was cold and awkward; while the shock and grief probably were overwhelming it does seem weird that Ms. Aaron's friend went to the trouble of securing her a place on the chartered flight for family members, and set her up to stay at a friend's place, only to blow her off upon her arrival. I wonder, was it something she said? Something akin, perhaps, to the weirdly insensitive and self-absorbed comment Ms. Aaron later made to her friend's new sister-in-law at the second wedding, about how she'd been the maid of honor at the first wedding. (You know, the first wedding to the dead guy who was the best guy in the world and you know he'd be so happy to see his widowed wife happily married again ... although of course if he were still alive this wedding wouldn't be happening ... oh, leaving so soon?).

It's not that I find it hard to believe that for some people it is just easier to move forward by effectively erasing things, relationships, or people from the past that evoke painful memories. Rather it's the kind of detail Ms. Aaron provides that makes her essay seem petty and bitter. Telling us about the Tiffany goblets that she couldn't really afford, and for which she received no thanks although she'd gone to such trouble and had worried so much about whether or not they were received, is just in bad taste. I don't doubt that it happened, and I agree that the friend was gauche to not acknowledge the gift, but I am surprised that Salon would allow itself to be used as a medium for revenge against a former friend. Ms. Aaron's airing of her grievances against her friend is very personal and specific, and unless she was employing pseudonyms it is probable that this friend will eventually hear about this article. It sounds like as far as Ms. Aaron is concerned, that bridge is already burned. But if it wasn't before, it surely will be now!

What can you say about what's going on in someone's heart or head when she doesn't talk to you anymore? The author does speculate - she reminds her friend of a past she wants to forget, that makes sense - but beyond that, only the widow can say. The whole point is that the friendship is lost. She doesn't really know why, and probably never will.

And I can't imagine that if the widow (or any widow) had written this people would be all, "oooh, me, me, me, me, you whiny brat." Just because you didn't lose a partner or direct family member on 9/11 doesn't mean it didn't affect your life in some meaningful way, and it doesn't mean your story isn't worth telling.

I thought this was an interesting and unique tale of heartbreak and loss, not an experience I would've been aware of had the author not shared it. I'm glad she did.

Tristin dear, you are about to be shit on by Salon's anonymous mean spirited shit birds. You may want to put on a rain slicker.

They will have no compassion for what happened to you. They are only here to give a hundred different variations on how wrong you are.

Don't listen to any of them. They just like to shit on anyone who exposes their most tender feelings. It's a favorite sport on Salon.

So ignore them, dear, and listen to an old guy who's been around hell and back a few times.

It doesn't take a 9-11 incident for best friends to become estranged. It happens more often than you might think.

All you need to know, my dear tender heart, is this: You did not wrong her, she wronged you.

If somehow you could magically pry it out of her, the reason why she treated you so callously, you might be surprised to find out that her reason was something so petty, so superficial, you'd wonder why you ever wasted any time on her.

And if somehow your "friend" was ever forced to look in a mirror and recite out loud the real reason why she dropped you, she would be ashamed of herself.

I suspect it had nothing to do with the events of 9-11.

No matter what you may have done, you did not deserve to be treated so coldly. Just go forward in life and put her in your past, a life's lesson learned. And if you want to really feel good about yourself, just make sure you never act toward another person the way she acted toward you. In that way, you will be a far better human than she has been.

And for all you Salon SHIT BIRDS who are about to take a dump on Tristin, you'd do well to take a look in that mirror before you scribble your bile.