As someone who first had sex at a late age (26) I was intrigued to find an unusually sensitive article on the subject. I am (apparently) attractive and personable, so on the rare occasion I tell people that I just never had the opportunity before that age they are usually shocked.

These days I am in a long term relationship, and haven't experienced any of the "psychological problems" that a number of people seem to assume must be there if you didn't lose it at the same time as everyone else.

However, I am aware that when you feel like the world has left you behind it is easy for your self esteem to suffer. There is a support group for involuntary virgins (and for people who are involuntarily celibate) that may be of interest to anyone in such a position: www.incelsupport.org

Ok. So I'm only 22, but being a virgin has felt like a damn plague my whole life. I have always been the kind of girl that punches the guy she has a crush on rather than show him affection. That said, I never dated throughout school even though I found some guys attractive.

My friends all lost their virginity early (15/16) and I didn't even realize how alienated it left me until I graduated high school and went to college. Seeing as how this is such a sexually charged time in peoples' lives, all anyone could talk about was sex. It's not like I don't know anything about sex but once people learned that I was a virgin, they would look at me like I was from another planet. It's as if this one minor thing had inhibited my brain from functioning like a normal human female's and I couldn't possibly understand anything sexually related.

Now that I am in my last semester in college, I have finally come to accept my static state of virginity, more or less. I tell people straight up that this is who I am and that I don't care what other people think (not entirely true of course). I just figure that it's better to embrace it than let it make me feel like a freak.

...I find it.

Well, may as well add my experiences in:

Nearing 30 this year, and still a virgin, but not by choice. It's not that I never considered learning the skills important.. quite the opposite. From as far back as I could remember, which would be into the nursery school days, I was terminally afraid of people.. It was bad enough, where getting my skull split open by some kid with a fire engine didn't produce a response... As I got older, the condition improved, but I usually found it almost impossible to maintain eye contact with people, including my parents... As you can imagine, this affected more then intimate relationships with the opposite sex. I'm very fortunate, in having gained a decent number of good friends over the years who somehow overlooked, or didn't notice, my anxiety over dealing with people..

Eventually, a short period before middle school, I was diagnosed with Tourettes Syndrome, but now I wonder if I'm afflicted with a condition called Asperger's Syndrome, which is basically a higher functioning "Downs Syndrome", and has a lot of the same problems I've been experienceing.... Well, I'm meaning to get myself rediagnosed soon, so we'll see..

Through the years, I've joined groups and put myself in the middle of groups of people, hoping to desensitize myself to my phobias.. Stuff like Boy Scouts in middle school and high school days, a Christian group in college and a Tae Kwan Do class, a news group.. Anything I could do, I'd do. I'm not sure if all that exposure took nearly two decades to pay off, or if my age is somehow making my condition improve, but I'm now at a point where I can walk up to strangers, look at them, and talk with them, without running away to hide five minutes later... Also, I've at least had several dates, in college and several years removed. They never lasted long, though, and the most sexual experience I've had was a few kisses.

So yeah, I'm still a virgin. And, I'm not happy about it in the least... Not because I feel I have something to prove, but because I realize I'm not getting any younger. At this point in life, I wonder if a relationship is even a realistic goal, let alone losing my virginity, considering most girls around the mid to late 20 range have been in several relationships and probably have no desire to play coach.. But, I haven't given up hope. I'm trying to figure out what I can do to "get into the game"... Clubs or bars? Never been my style, but I'm willing to give them a shot. At the least, I need to be out there, or nothings gonna happen.

I am in my mid-30s and still a virgin. Only two female friends know and I feel it is an embarassment and would never tell anyone else. I am attractive, slender, have a high-paying career, own my own house, have traveled, and no one would ever guess I'm still in this situation.

I know a lot of people think there has to be something wrong with us involuntary virgins but it really isn't true. As stated in the "40-Year-Old Virgin" it just never happened. I meet guys all the time and so many are married or I'm not interested in them. A lot of the guys I've gone on dates with show up to the date expecting to have sex within the hour and I think that is very rude. I'm reluctant to keep waiting though as I do want to get married and have children and the longer I wait the more trouble I might have. I think all the time about flying out to Vegas and hiring a male escort to "get it done" but that seems so tacky and sleezy as does hooking up with a stranger on a vacation.

I'm still debating my options but at this point I'm tempted just to get it done and move on with my life. Any suggestions?