thus making it unnecessary for me to perfect extensive and polished vaudeville routines, which I seem unable to do

You are so right on. I'll have to remember that line! "vaudeville routines" baa haaa ha!!

Women complain all guys are like this or that and therefore they claim to be disgusted with all of us men.

Hold on a minute. You basically say, "all women are X" and that's why you hate all women. Pot called, said "you're black, kettle."

But given a choice between two men, one who is practiced and polished and one who is a diamond in the rough, women will, 19 out of 20 times, choose the slick and polished guy over the less practiced guy.

Did you do a study?

I am not talking about a slick lounge lizard, but about a guy who says and does the right thing to get you interested in him. And as for the diamond in the rough, I am not talking about a fat guy, or someone who smells, but about a guy that might actually have OTHER THINGS to do than to learn to play the 'game' and spend all his time practicing picking up girls.

Oh please, the game is in itself often very unattractive to many people, men and women. Even though you mock it, you also want a woman who will do the right think to get you interested in her.

The reason the first guy is slick and knows what to say and what to do is because he has already been through 200-500 other women.

Um, you have some serious delusions about people.

What they say about women's intuition? That's all garbage. You are not a special goddess with super powers.

Agreed.

You will get taken over and over, and then get taken AGAIN by the polished guy and ignore the guy who is not so practiced and who is likely to be MORE GENUINE than the polished practiced clown.

Oh, now, let's not hate on the people who like to dress up and be attractive. Many of them are also quite "genuine." You're exhibiting a reverse of the prejudice you're condeming.

Normal men like me

Don't harbor any delusions about that either: the opinions you have on women and relationships are far from common.

When women complain about guys not calling back, or a guy not listening, it is because the women invariably remember the same 10% of SLICK guys that all THEIR friends have also dated. Mr. Slick has gone through ALL OF YOU and is on to the next girl, that is why he is not returning YOUR call.

Again, i don't know where you live, but it's a very narrow slice of life, if this is all you're witnessing.

This is one main reason THE VAST MAJORITY OF guys are SO disparaging of women. The playas KNOW how stupid women are in their choices, and the other guys KNOW they either have to find and channel their inner 'son of a bitch' and begin to play the 'game' the bastards are playing or else live a life ALONE and remain a virtual virgin themselves.

Absolutely untrue. This is just your rationalizations for not trying.

Everything in life has a quid pro quo. Almost no woman on earth will have sex with you without a quid pro quo of some kind, whether it be a ring on the finger or some lesser token of esteem.

That's a rather glum view of human nature in general, and human sexual experience in particular. Do you really believe the vast majority of women don't choose to have sex out for love or enjoyment?

Of course that [finding a woman who became a prostitute without coercion] would be possible and very easy too.

Possible, of course. Easy, I dunno. How many women are really going to say, "yes, I became a prostitute because I was lured from Moldova with the promise of a waitressing job, but now my pimp keeps my passport and threatens me with torture or death if I don't make quota?" There was a major prostitution sting here in town, in which several outwardly-normal-seeming women turned out to be literal slaves. The neighbors took a good long time to catch on, because the women were carefully coached on what to say and how to act, and covered for each other.

Now, the British woman you use as an example does sound promising, I admit. Better yet would be a professional surrogate, a possibility that Salon explored in a 2003 article that I somehow missed then but got referred to now (http://dir.salon.com/story/sex/feature/2003/10/08/virgin/index.html), although my experiences are far closer to the women in this article (down to the "the time in my mid-20s when I was about to go all the way when my partner found out I was a virgin and freaked out, refusing to be my first and demanding to know what was wrong with me that I hadn't lost it a decade ago" story) than the men in that one. Still, it could work and the price is right. Hm.

The reason why you are a virgin is that you have a great propensity for finding reasons not to have sex. You are probably extremely successful in whatever your profession is, tax lawyer or whatever, if you earn a living by finding loopholes, but as a lover you would probably suck--pardon the expression.

TAX LAWYER? Okay, we were having such a civil conversation, and then you (TAX LAWYER?) accuse me of being a TAX LAWYER???

As it happens, I used to work in investment rating before having a mid-life call a few years ago to do something more meaningful and switching to progressive politics; in both fields my greatest strength is the honesty not to fall back on loopholes.

But you're right, I'd probably be a rotten lay, for lack of experience if nothing else. This is awkward for me; I like women and don't want them to suffer. Still, there are other things which I enjoy but am terrible at (karaoke!), and sometimes do because you can't spend all your time worrying about other people's enjoyment.