I feel bad for these 30-year-old virgins, but here's my question. It seems to me that after 25, potential sex partners will start to look at you weird if you are a virgin, so let's say 25 will be our cutoff.

So, putting the religious question aside, how is it possible that these "late bloomers" haven't had a committed, somewhat long-term relationship with someone that they felt they loved by the age of 25, especially they have gone to college, where there are so many different people to meet? Because that seems like the logical concluion -- if you were in a good relationship before 25, you woulda had sex with that person (again, religious issues aside).

Anyone have any insight?

I think this is really interesting. Also, brightstar, i just had an epiphany. You and the other trolls and residence regularly complain that women get so much sexual attention DAILY and men get none. Well, i don't know if my experience is everyone else's, but i would have to say that 95% of the attention i get daily (from weirdos on public transport, homeless people, lurid parking garage attendants, coffee trolley people, security guards) from men that is at least somewhat sexual in nature, is UNWANTED! Not only would i prefer not to get any of this attention at all (staring at my chest when i have barely left the house and still somewhat asleep in the morning, etc.), but none of the people giving the attention are even remotely possible candidates for someone to date, much less have sex with, much less have sex with for the first time.

This is an interesting article, but it seems to gloss over all the men's fears about sleeping with a virgin. In high school, adolescent crushes are expected (and of course, usually dashed by adolescent boys), so adult men figure that women who have never had sex have not gone through the full gamut of sexually-charged emotion yet, which, sad as it sounds, is probably true. I don't think it has as much to do with the fact that men fear virgins "missed the boat" in high school or college, or are inexperienced physically, as another factor- that a lot of girls DO end up with out-of-control, overly romantic crushes on their first partner. Of course, others "just get it over with" or bury their crushes in pretend feelings of being too cool. Some, as observers often point out, dub themselves "sluts" and skip the idea of monogamy and romance altogether. Obviously, most of these feelings are at least a little bit uncomfortable, off-putting and psychologically dangerous for both partners.

Not to be wonky, but biologically, women are PROGRAMMED to look for reliable and trustworthy partners, just as men are technically PROGRAMMED to want virgins (for their "purity" - read: inherent trustworthiness in parenting). Ironically, for an adult man, to sign up for a adolescent-pitched relationship with a virgin only makes sense if he really wants to settle down. Otherwise, past sexual rivals are irrelevant. Meanwhile, a woman with a sexual history would have a better idea how to separate the wheat (keepers) from the chaff (one-night stands or shorter relationships) than virgins. Men fear they would put automatically placed in the keeper category.

I'm sure that plenty of adult women would not be traumatized by a short-lived first sexual experience in their 30's. They should make that abundantly clear to potential partners, which should put them at ease right off the bat.

Imperfect maybe, but it's good to read about other people like you when the subject isn't one that's normally discussed.

I was a virgin until my mid-20s. I know at least two women in their 30s and 40s who still are, and I know several other women in our age group who haven't had sex for many years.

For everyone I know, it's a combination of not having dated a lot while they were younger and rarely meeting, let alone dating, eligible men now. By eligible, I mean relatively smart, bathes regularly, generally kind and good-humored - - looks are pretty far down the list for most of us.

The sexless women I know are smart, professional, pleasant-looking (or better). They are not at all conservative or religious. And if all they were looking for was sex, they could probably find it. Which doesn't mean they're looking for marriage or even long-term commitment. But they want to connect with someone in a way that I don't think most men commenting on this article can understand.

Which is that most people are lying about their sexual activity anyway. The truth lies far below the purported numbers that 'people' are claiming. As far back as Kinsey the real numbers where that people have a lot less sex than they brag about to their friends and partners. So while the non-virgins may claim the highground in fact, it's not by much. For instance, a large number of married couples report that they rarely if ever have sex beyond the first few years. Before you nail that dismount swinging from the ceiling fixture, lets keep in mind that never having sex and haven't had sex in 10 years aren't that materially different.

That's why men avoid "older" virgins. In this day and age, any woman who's never done the hunka-chunka by the time she's 25 has some deep-seated issues that make her even crazier than the rest of her co-genderists. And everybody knows how nuts women are in the first place.

Please forgive me if I run away from these types. Things are bad enough trying to get along with women in the first place. But having to deal with a woman that ISN'T getting laid? Nuh-uh.

Biology dictates reproduction - it's one of the most basic aspects in defining life. Okay, so we trick our bodies with birth control - the sexual action, though, every bit as life affirming as sex sans protection. If you're approaching middle age and still a virgin, your wires are crossed and you're fucked up - plain and simple. That some religious nutballs hold off on this most natural and pleasurable of acts is their fucked up business, but to be a healthy individual - and good looking if you believe all the virgins posting here today, and you deny this most basic of human functions, you need therapy, because if someone told you they didn't want to eat, sleep or breath you'd rightly call the freaks...

and this is the exact same thing!