Virgins over 35 should be in charge of National Security. Put that tenacious defense to really good use!

Otherwise, it eventually becomes a game of diminishing returns. Can't take it with you....

For crying out loud, it's OKAY to be a virgin! More than okay -- it's not anything to be ashamed of!! If you're a virgin, don't let some of these posters make you feel bad about it.

Both my husband and I were virgins until our wedding night. I was 26 and he was 27. My husband didn't even KISS me until the part in the ceremony where you get to kiss the bride, because he said he was even saving that too. He knew I was the one for him and that was it. It's not like he's some loser either (Ivy League undergrad, an MBA, and now making $250K/yr).

My sister was a virgin until she got married at 28 (to a doctor). My aunt was a virgin until she got married at 36 to a younger man (a red-blooded Irish-American Catholic).

You know what? There are actually men (and women) out there who are fine dating virgins. If someone loves you, they'll want to be with you no matter what. So don't feel rushed into anything. If a relationship can't survive because one person is a virgin coming into it, for heaven's sake, what real storms can it actually weather?

"A man can't pick someone up until AFTER he has developed the ability to put himself accross. Women WILL NOT respond to an awkward, uncomfortable approach, they just will not. A physically adequate woman can be awkward and men will still tolerate her, an equivalent man will not be sexually tolerated. Admit this."

My brother has always been *painfully* shy, especially around the opposite sex. It's difficult for him to have a conversation with me, nevermind a stranger. He could never ask a woman to dance or on a date. Yet, somehow he's managed to find women who are perfectly willing to take control. (And a few men who have tried to...) It's definitely more of a challenge for men -- given gender expectations, it's practically a handicap -- but it can be worked through with the right partner.

Either the setting was adquate but not the partner or the partner was adequate but not the settings. As pure and simple as that.

wow. how about some adequate spontaneity?

Both my husband and I were virgins until our wedding night. I was 26 and he was 27. My husband didn't even KISS me until the part in the ceremony where you get to kiss the bride, because he said he was even saving that too. He knew I was the one for him and that was it. It's not like he's some loser either (Ivy League undergrad, an MBA, and now making $250K/yr).

My sister was a virgin until she got married at 28 (to a doctor). My aunt was a virgin until she got married at 36 to a younger man (a red-blooded Irish-American Catholic).

I just think it's hilarious that you don't mention what you or your female relatives do for a living, or whether your male relatives followed also married virgins. Also, i guess it's unclear whether your female relatives' grooms were virgins, or just the gals. It sounds like you come from a very traditional background.

Also, PS, what if any of you get divorced or your husbands die? will no nice men want you then, because you're not virgins anymore? :)

You rock.

In high school I was blessed to a have good friend who was two years older than me, a compulsive talker, and extremely sexually experienced. I was SHOCKED the day she told me she'd finally had an orgasm, because I knew she'd lost her virginity almost four years earlier. Asking around, I found out this was pretty universal: a lot of girls waited out a few years of frequent sex before finally having an orgasm during sex, because when they started, they didn't know how to masturbate yet and weren't comfortable enough to do anything but lie there. Sounds appealing, right? I know some women who lost their virginity even older than I did, but all of them chalk it up to culture/fat phase/something external. I chose to be an old virgin, and I'm quite glad about it; I'm the only woman I know who got off the first time. Older virgins, the next time someone treats you like a freak or boasts about their high school hijinks, ask them how long after they first had sex they had their first orgasm. They'll probably change the subject.

>In an adult, its either immaturity, or its a form of snobbery. People who are shy usually listen, watch, and have opinions on what other people do. They listen to other people say dumb stuff or behave foolishly, and they don't want to say dumb stuff or be a fool, so they keep quiet and hope not to be noticed.<

Boy, that's a lot of assumptions-without-evidence. How do you know what every single shy person's motivations are? And why is it so wrong to not want to look like a fool--especially if you have dealt your whole life with people who give you constant grief just because you are different. Has it occurred to you that shyness may be a protective manuever some people need--or have learned to need. Or maybe they prefer to watch, listen, and think about things before weighing in. Why--because that's their personality. In any case, you are taking shyness as a slam againist you instead of seeing it as that particular person's personality trait. Try and understand--their shyness is _not_ about you, or a reflection of what you are about.

>The longer you wait...

...the more important and weighty it becomes, the more you want it to be absolutely perfect and wonderful, and consequently, the more difficult it becomes to actually do it.<

Who is this "you" you're referring to? I have yet to see any posters on here who think losing their virginity should be the ultimate experience-of-life. (All would be happy if they 1) had a good time; 2) found a nice, decent partner who turns them on. g!) Look, LeCastor, I know this is hard for you to understand, but it's the truth: not everyone thinks that finding love/sex is the highest priority in life. Not everyone can do so because of any number of good reasons--economic, timing, emotional issues, whatever. And why should they _have_ to? For you to insist that normalcy means you have to have had relationships from teen-hood on up is as restrictive and conformist as the 50's standard that a girl who didn't wait till marriage was a slut. Ah, well, you're young, kid. Get some more experience and years and tolerance on ya, and you'll understand...:)