I was just reading your post about not wanting a guy who you have to lie to and whatnot and my honest first reaction was "geez, this gal is uptight." My second thought was that you are just not very horny. There are a ton of really great men out there. You sound like you are assuming that men are slimes until you've dated them for two years and spent 3000 hours with them and then you'll decide. But guess what? You _can_ have a one night stand with a nice guy and not tell him that you are a virgin. You can be both horny and romantic - in fact what is romance without sexual arousal? You need to have confidence, seize the moment, let loose! Don't feel like you have to do some dance of impressing one another with your intellectual prowess, jobs, future plans for marriage and children, and a zillion other things first. Love is first about attraction and wowee does it feel good to give into it...

Have some good old fashioned fun in your romantic life before you die.

A man can't pick someone up until AFTER he has developed the ability to put himself accross. Women WILL NOT respond to an awkward, uncomfortable approach, they just will not. A physically adequate woman can be awkward and men will still tolerate her, an equivalent man will not be sexually tolerated. Admit this. If women are virgins because there are very few people in the world that they are attracted too, that is fine but it should be understood that this doesn't really apply to men. Some who are brainwashed out of awareness of themselves may believe it, but it isn't really true. Lots of women have told me they don't believe it's really true for women either, but plenty say otherwise.

I also lost my virginity in my mid-20's. I was 25 to be exact. But I also didn't feel identified with this article as "that kind of girl", my experiences were so much different. I'm very attractive, I've been dating since high-school. Had my first serious relationship at 17. And have had a series of long-term relationships since (4 years in college,followed by 3 years after college, followed by 1 year with the guy I finally "lost" it to.) I've always been very outgoing and popular. Also, I've always considered mmyself a very sexual and sensual person. I masturbated frequently, I knew what an orgasm was by the time I was 15. I've always viewed sex as a natural, positve experience...so why was I still a virgin at 25? Precisely because of my sense of my own strong sensuality and sexuality, and the "crazy, freakish" thought that sex should be thouroughly enjoyable (not tolerable).

Mind you, by virgin at 25 I mean that I'd never had vaginal intercourse (an another notable exception which isn't really my cup of tea, if you know what I mean).

Yep, I had oral sex with my previous relationships, manual stimulation too. A lot! I had orgasms, a lot! But lets face it, vaginal intercourse, for the most part can be painful for the first time; so I kept putting it off.

I did not want to have sex in the backseat of a car with the pain of hymeneal perforation joined with watching out for a police officer/pesky neighbor/passerby who would catch me in the act, while simultanously having to ignore the calls on my cellphone from my parents (need I say: mood killer?), and having your joints in uncomfortable positions. I also didn't want to do it while waiting for the guys mom, roomate, etc.(and viceversa). I wanted to ENJOY sex since the first time and franly the location hadn't clicked with the desires. Either the setting was adquate but not the partner or the partner was adequate but not the settings. As pure and simple as that.When this two factors meshed I lost it.

I actually ENJOYED my first time. How many people can say that? Yes it was akward at first, but I did tell the guy, in those heavy make-out talks, that if we where to get to intercourse, I was a virgin.

I had, I believe, an advantage from these women though, I'm Latino and the guy was Latino too. In a Latino culture virginity isn't demonized as much as it's being less canonized by the minute.

I was already in a relationship with this guy and sex was a great elemnt to the mix, but I didn't love him more or less because of it. We just had more fun, a LOT more fun.

People, be honest with your partners, here's why: Guys will give you the whole OMG vibe because they probably get performance anxiety when they hear "virgin". So, no girls, you're not the freaks, the guys who will dump their sexual hang-ups on you are.

LeCastor why do you and so many women just not get it.

A man can't pick someone up until AFTER he has developed the ability to put himself accross. Women WILL NOT respond to an awkward, uncomfortable approach, they just will not. A physically adequate woman can be awkward and men will still tolerate her, an equivalent man will not be sexually tolerated.

-- anon

Really, because if that's true, why do i see so many "odd-looking " or "awkward, uncomfortable" people hand in hand walking down the street? I live in NYC, there are lot those out and about.

At least have the decency to make up a fake name so you can be addressed as something other than "anonymous"

Normally I don't take the bait. But it's funny that Americans are accused of being pretty much too *everything* these days. Too obscene, too prudish, too boorish, too meek, too repressed, too much of a bad influence, too fat, too skinny, too meddlesome, too gunshy, etc.

If you believe that Nicole Richie, who looks as if she just was liberated from Auschwitz, is some sort of standard to which American women are held, you obviously know nothing about American culture. That girl is ridiculed and pitied on the cover of tabloids, and I would defy you to find a woman who says she wants to look like her or a man who wants his woman to look like her. And the last time I checked, European and South American models don't exactly look like Carnie Wilson.

I hope you get some sense of satisfaction, which you obviously need, by trying to rile up Americans by lumping them, the most diverse group of people on the planet, all together. Better luck next time.