i must say, who are those people that start asking about other relationships in the heat of a moment?

good riddence!

I let my subscription lapse to see if the 'free' made me feel like I should pay. Was an original subscriber, this type of article is the reason I figured my money should go elsewhere. (But will respond anyway)

Now to the article:

Yes, there are late bloomers. As a man, would feel there would be too much emotion to deal with; expectations would bring me to a pause. This is not bad, this is good; this means the men know that they were interested in a hook-up and that the woman probably would have different expectations and thus are being sort of kind in not going through with something where the expectations are quite different. The guys that back off probably would not have been interested in anything more than that night. I doubt it was because they thought there was something wrong with the woman, just the opposite, she approaches relationships with a little less casualness.

I was a late bloomer (age 23), but a baby boomer, so not relevant to the under 40's of today. I waited not because I did not have the chance. I waited because of a belief that women have different expectations then men, and if I was not interested enough to think there could be a long term relationship, then fear of VD (remember that term), pregnancy, or emotional fall out kept me to the safe sex side of dating until I met a gal that I did not fear the committment.

To those over 25 virgins: Laugh, because once it is over, you will laugh at the needless anxiety, you will wonder why all the fuss, why the false bravado of those you meet at parties. Sex has several rewards: Pleasure, closeness, and eventually some great kids. Plus it can be just plain fun, if you remember that sex should not be taken too seriously, think European, not Puritan.

The best answer, whether a man or a woman, if asked about how long it has been or something like it, just say, "Been much too long." Which for most of us is true, no matter how long ago.

Okay. Can we agree that hooking up to someone you don't know very well isn't a great thing and, in fact, can be dangerous? I'm an old married fart with kids now but came of age in the 80's. I wish I had waited longer to have sex and hadn't let myself be pressured into it. But, at least 15 or 20 years ago, there seemed to be more respect directed by men toward women with regard to sexual encounters. Now, for women, it's all about pleasing the man and acting like a porn star. We've gone backwards. Let the virgins alone. It's better if you wait to have sex until you love someone anyway. Otherwise, what the hell is the point? Getting a man to like you? Please. Maybe the religious right is right on this issue and modesty is something to strive for rather than scorn.

There is no need to stroke the ego of some random guy by faking an orgasm your first (or second, or 20th) time having sex. If the guy can't legitimately get you off, he doesn't deserve the ersatz applause.

And I am shocked and appalled by some of the responses to this article. It is disgusting for anyone to assume that these women are either ugly or overweight. They might just be shy.

For me I never dated in high school or college. I never wanted to. The guys I saw there were immature idiots who were not worth my time. I was (and still am) extremely shy. By the time I finally got around to it (age 26), it was good to just get it over with. I never dared admit it to anyone for fear of the same responses some of those women in the article received.

I know this is not really the subject of the article, but just to respond quickly to the "involuntary" male virgins writing responses to this article:

Guys, whatever your problem is, it is more than just not having had a chance yet to do the deed. If it was really that important to you to lose your virginities, you could always jump on a plane to Costa Rica, Tijuana, Santo Domingo, or a load of other places in Central and South America and quite legally pay an attractive young woman $50 or so to have sex with you.

The fact that you don't take this option indicates that whatever is holding you back is something else. Perhaps some notions about purity, innocence, fear of disease etc. You might also say that you cannot afford to do this, but if that is the case, it probably explains why you can't get laid where you live either.

Think about this.

It seems they don't want to be left alone, anyone who wants to be a virgin is pefectly free to do so, in fact the whole point of the article seemed to be that the women felt TOO free to retain their virginal status.

This article irritated me.

I am a 24-year-old virgin; intelligent, articulate, allegedly witty and never wanting in social invitations. I am not remotely obese (size 4-6) and, while no Jessica Alba, get a lot of male attention and "you're so hot"s. I wasn't sexually abused and I don't have a purity complex. Sure, I've only had one serious boyfriend, but...

Reading articles like this and the comments below make me feel like there's something wrong with me. And I don't think that's fair.

The fact of the matter is that for some people, it just doesn't happen. I went to an all girls' high school, where I barely met any guys. At university, I met plenty, but my self-esteem was so shattered by my 18-year-old best friend that I was terrified to get involved with anyone for years and didn't really understand how escalate the physical flirting that kickstarts most relationships, and became convinced I was unloveable and unattractive.

I eventually got over that and had a 10-month relationship that healed those scars and awakened me sexually, but never culminated in intercourse (and no, that wasn't an issue in our breaking up) in part because it was long distance, in part because as it turned out he was also a virgin, in part because it hurt too much when we tried, and in part because the timing was never right.

But just because someone hasn't had sex doesn't mean there's something terribly wrong with them. I'm a hell of a lot more socially competent than most of the non-virgins I know.